She's dead. Like so many children that die every year, we still don't know for certain why she died. What I do know for sure is that I am a mom. I love, adore, and cherish my children. If one of my children died, no matter the reason behind it, I have no idea how I would act.
I would hope that I would not become some horrible monster. I would hope I didn't begin a self-destructive binge of alcohol, drugs and lies to cover up for the drugs and alcohol. At the same time, I would hope that I wouldn't sit inside alone with my tears unable to talk or cope with the situation. As you may have guessed, I am about to make some of you extremely angry by what I am going to say next. Please understand, this is not a justification of anything that occurred or the way it occurred. I believe in Justice. I also believe in truth. For Caylee Anthony, I don't know that she will ever just either on this earth. To be clear, none of us, NO ONE, except for Caylee and Casey really can know what happened. Also KNOW, this is JUST a theory. It is in no way defending the horrific death of an innocent girl. I have daughters too. I have 3 beautiful small daughters, and someone ever took their life I honestly don't know what I would do.
As I have said before, the greatest lies we tell our the ones we tell ourselves. We use the lies to cope, to hide, or to escape pressure from others. Unfortunately, she may not know why she lied. We all lie everyday, and is only a fine line between sanity and insanity and few know what it will take to cross it. The first stage of grief is DENIAL. When we deny something ultimately we are lying, not just to others, but mostly to ourselves. Some of us escape from reality now by drinking and partying. We using alcohol to forget our looming reality. It makes it easier to forget. Some even use sex. It's hard to experience pain when you are experiencing pleasure. As for Casey, she was out finding her escape, living her denial if you will.
Let's say for a second that Caylee had accidentally drowned in the family pool. In that same second let's say that instead of denial, Casey had went to shock first and called 911. The police get there and find her accidentally drowned lying next to the pull. Her grieving mom is soaking wet sitting next to her after jumping in after her daughter fully clothed. Would we have comforted her? Would we have cooked her a meal? Would we have used it as a reminder to ourselves that accidents happen daily so we should hug our own children extra tight? Or would we go buy a new lock for the fence around our own pools? I think that's how it would have happened. I think that's what a stable mom would have done. I think our reaction would have been sympathetic.
However, she went to denial first. So she started lying to herself first. Perhaps she was even lying to herself to such an extent that she had to make it look like a deliberate murder so she could believe her own lies as they began to surface in front of her. So she told herself her daughter was with a babysitter so she could party. She told her parents many lies. Then she lied to the police. Honestly, I think she believed her own lies. She was grieving. She was coping. She was doing whatever it took to get from one day, one hour, even one minute to the next.
Everyone has a point where their lies begin to catch up to them. They can no longer point fingers. They can no longer look away from the truth that is engulfing them. So the next stage of grief, ANGER, sets in. She begins to point fingers. She defers the blame from anyone but her, because honestly no one wants to be angry with themselves. Being angry with yourself means admitting and excepting responsibility and she is still coming off the denial stage. She can't admit that her daughter is gone, so in anger she begins pointing fingers elsewhere, like toward her parents.
So then she begins the next stage, BARGAINING. Except at this point, she is sitting in a courtroom so the ONLY people she can bargain with are the judge and jury. She did lie. She was charged, rightly so, of lying. Only she bargained her way out of murder. Maybe she did murder her daughter. It wouldn't have been the first time that has happened in this country. Then again maybe she didn't. The legal system decided, basically, that they could not decide definitively. Many innocent people have sat in jail for several years, so I had I been on that jury, and had there not been enough evidence, I would have done the same thing.
I don't think she has hit the DEPRESSION stage yet. I think that will happen when she goes home and realizes her daughter is no longer there. Then eventually, in time, she will have to ACCEPT that Caylee is not coming back. She is dead. Not her memory, but there will be no new memories with her child. She will not be heading off to school. There will be no birthday cake this year.
However, having said all I just said, Casey's true problem, her real world problem is not going to be losing her daughter. She will have to face that daily on her own anyway, but her real problem will be going out in public. Despite a jury decision, despite her possible innocence, a lot of people will want her dead. She will have to change her name, face, identity, and maybe even her location now thanks to media over-coverage. They really should be sending Casey a check, especially since no one will ever hire her again, for all the money she made all the news and information companies.
We've watched, we waited, we still have no answers, but I do have one answer. Love your children. They will change the world. If starting today, every parent, everywhere, started treating their children as if they were going to change the world, maybe the world would start to change. Maybe we would wake up 20 years from now in a safer place to live. Maybe no one would go hungry, everyone would have an education, a house, a job and health insurance. Maybe we would cure diseases and end the need for welfare. Maybe everyone would find their purpose, even if it was just to help out their fellow man as they need it. I love my kids and in honor of Caylee, my kids are going to think that starting today, they will change the world. Honestly, I hope they do.
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