Child support is a good thing. It helps children maintain a decent lifestyle when paid and calculated properly. For the last four years the amount of child support I received for my four children was minimal. In fact it was so minimal, that I got more for my son with another man than I did for our four children combined. However, I'm not the one that should be ashamed of that.
Two weeks ago, I was informed that their father was walking away. I was and still would be completely fine with this. I have always picked up the slack and I always will. The children are not obligations, but rather choices. They didn't get to pick me for a mother. They got what they got, so I want to the best one possible. Upon learning in child support court that he would get a visitation credit in child support court for seeing them, he decided he does "want to" see them even more than he had been. However, he still doesn't want his weeknight....no surprise he doesn't get credit for that.
For him the numbers that matter are the ones in his bank account. I also have a bank account. The bills get paid. We live another day. The amount that got us there isn't important.
The numbers that matter for me are these:
9-18-03, 5-25-06, 6-11-07 & 10-14-10 my children's birthdays in order. Also 11, 8, 8, 7 & 4, my children's ages. These numbers have been written incorrectly on five court documents from him since our divorce.
9.4 Sydney's personal best floor routine score and got her her first first place in a gymnastics meet. And 8.6 Skye's first first at her second ever meet on vault.
25 the number of meals Chris knows how to cook well.
3 the number of best friends Manda has at school, and 1 the number of boyfriends she's had since kindergarten.
4 Austin's favorite number and his age. He points to it everywhere we go.
5 the minimum number of times the kids eat at my house in a day. 2 the number of times they are allowed to eat per day at their dad's.
$1 the amount of food that was bought for each of them at McDonald's by their dad. $80 the amount of money he spent on a brand new coat for himself the same night. Free the amount of money I spent on a hand me down winter coat for myself from a friend.
$129 the amount of money I need to buy Chris the bike he really wants. My bike is invisible....being able to ride with them instead of jogging isn't as important as them having bikes.
7 the amount of outfits in my closet that currently fit me and do not have stains. 32 the number of outfits each of my children currently have for each season.
9 months the length of time we have been without a dryer bc the money I saved for a new one went to repair the van and my girls aren't giving up gymnastics.
3 the number of medicines Skye is on to maintain her asthma. 29 the age her dad started smoking knowing he had an asthmatic child.
0 the number of jobs he has to support the children. $10 the amount of money the children made selling their personal belongs door to door without supervision in a strange city he took from them. And lastly 6, the number of times the school has called dcs on him.
Oh and 6 the number of months I didn't expose any of this to the world.
See the difference between me and him as my kids numbers come first. Their successes, their meals, their clothes, the amount of days they live without great of being treated bio better than animals....those are my concerns. I shouldn't have to concern myself with their safety and threats from the woman he chose over them, but I do. I have to. No one else is.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Monday, April 20, 2015
How my daughter's school accidentally hurt her body image
It's that time of year again, you know it well. It's the one when women try on 23 bathing suits in a vain attempt to make their fat look less fat, or at least camouflage it like a hunter hunting a deer. In my case it's comparable to the feeling of trying to hide a whale on the beach. Either way, kids at my children's school also go swimming at the high school for two weeks during third grade.
I was very blessed with two beautiful third grade twin daughters. They say fraternal twins are no more alike than normal sisters. I disagree. Mine are less alike than normal sisters. Manda is 51 minutes older and she never lets anyone forget that. She was also born with a large birthmark that looks oddly like her sisters foot that she never wants anyone to see, so she has always preferred a one piece suit. So her time to swim came, and went. She excelled and was invited to swim team, no big deal.
Then there was Sydney. Sydney is not just an 8 year old. She thinks beyond her years, highly inquisitive, very mature. She is also an xcel silver level gymnast who has never had a problem putting on a leotard and practicing a couple times a week, or competing in front of a crowd. Since she's been potty trained, my athletic daughter has worn a bikini to swim, or just wear at home because, well, I let her. She is toned with abs that I'm jealous of and muscles in her legs many adults aspire to. Never once have I dwelled on creepy old men that may potentially view her in unsavory fashion. She's eight. She's cute. Most importantly she's self confident.
So when my daughter brought home the swimming paper informing me that the cute sparkling Justice bikini she proudly bought last year with her birthday money was unacceptable attire, of course she asked why.
A million and twenty answers flashed before my eyes, but I failed to deem these acceptable. If I tell her about horny old men, she may lose trust in her teacher. If I tell her about third grade boys that don't pull her hair because she's too busy kicking their butts art athletics, her feelings may be hurt. If I tell her some of the chubby girls may get made fun of, she'll think be chubby is a reason to make fun of someone. So my answer was instantly, "I don't know."
She then informed me that they only make rules for a reason and there had to be one. I knew I was going to have to pick one. So I told her that maybe some girls would be nervous about wearing a bikini in front of other kids. I was so unprepared for her response. "That's silly mom. Why would anyone be nervous?" So of course it lead to the inevitable conversation about body image I had been avoiding....the one about unwanted body fat....the one about people that have no right to, judging you anyways.
Instantly, I saw my daughter, my previously innocent confident girl's blue eyes go dark. And inn a moment of sheer utter panic she dispersed. She emerged in her bikini of green and blue glitter and began pointing helplessly at non-existent sentiments of fat. I watched her jump up and down looking helplessly for anything that potentially slightly jiggled. Eventually, she found a tiny piece of extra skin on her upper thigh she could barely pinch. She began crying about that last soda she drank and something ridiculous about going on a diet.
While I was tying to be supportive (by not laughing) I hugged her and reassured her that she was still thin and beautiful and that if she could wear her bikini everyone would be jealous. Of course, she took it as they'd be jealous she bought her bikini at Justice, which lead to a whole other conversation later.
For the last week, I've watched my little princess focus on the mirror a lot more. I watched as she handed her favorite leotard to get sister in fear it made her look fat. I'm aware there are parents out there that are going to give me total backlash over not protecting my child from potential beach predators, yada, yada.
But plain and simple, we shouldn't be shattering self esteem. We shouldn't be compromising self-confidence out of fear. As parents, we have enough worries. Finances, work, eating right, all of our children's activities that the last thing we should have to address is explaining to our children that something may be wrong with their bodies. Unless a bikini is going to make my daughter drown, let her wear it. Let her be confident. Let her be little. Let her be amazing.
I was very blessed with two beautiful third grade twin daughters. They say fraternal twins are no more alike than normal sisters. I disagree. Mine are less alike than normal sisters. Manda is 51 minutes older and she never lets anyone forget that. She was also born with a large birthmark that looks oddly like her sisters foot that she never wants anyone to see, so she has always preferred a one piece suit. So her time to swim came, and went. She excelled and was invited to swim team, no big deal.
Then there was Sydney. Sydney is not just an 8 year old. She thinks beyond her years, highly inquisitive, very mature. She is also an xcel silver level gymnast who has never had a problem putting on a leotard and practicing a couple times a week, or competing in front of a crowd. Since she's been potty trained, my athletic daughter has worn a bikini to swim, or just wear at home because, well, I let her. She is toned with abs that I'm jealous of and muscles in her legs many adults aspire to. Never once have I dwelled on creepy old men that may potentially view her in unsavory fashion. She's eight. She's cute. Most importantly she's self confident.
So when my daughter brought home the swimming paper informing me that the cute sparkling Justice bikini she proudly bought last year with her birthday money was unacceptable attire, of course she asked why.
A million and twenty answers flashed before my eyes, but I failed to deem these acceptable. If I tell her about horny old men, she may lose trust in her teacher. If I tell her about third grade boys that don't pull her hair because she's too busy kicking their butts art athletics, her feelings may be hurt. If I tell her some of the chubby girls may get made fun of, she'll think be chubby is a reason to make fun of someone. So my answer was instantly, "I don't know."
She then informed me that they only make rules for a reason and there had to be one. I knew I was going to have to pick one. So I told her that maybe some girls would be nervous about wearing a bikini in front of other kids. I was so unprepared for her response. "That's silly mom. Why would anyone be nervous?" So of course it lead to the inevitable conversation about body image I had been avoiding....the one about unwanted body fat....the one about people that have no right to, judging you anyways.
Instantly, I saw my daughter, my previously innocent confident girl's blue eyes go dark. And inn a moment of sheer utter panic she dispersed. She emerged in her bikini of green and blue glitter and began pointing helplessly at non-existent sentiments of fat. I watched her jump up and down looking helplessly for anything that potentially slightly jiggled. Eventually, she found a tiny piece of extra skin on her upper thigh she could barely pinch. She began crying about that last soda she drank and something ridiculous about going on a diet.
While I was tying to be supportive (by not laughing) I hugged her and reassured her that she was still thin and beautiful and that if she could wear her bikini everyone would be jealous. Of course, she took it as they'd be jealous she bought her bikini at Justice, which lead to a whole other conversation later.
For the last week, I've watched my little princess focus on the mirror a lot more. I watched as she handed her favorite leotard to get sister in fear it made her look fat. I'm aware there are parents out there that are going to give me total backlash over not protecting my child from potential beach predators, yada, yada.
But plain and simple, we shouldn't be shattering self esteem. We shouldn't be compromising self-confidence out of fear. As parents, we have enough worries. Finances, work, eating right, all of our children's activities that the last thing we should have to address is explaining to our children that something may be wrong with their bodies. Unless a bikini is going to make my daughter drown, let her wear it. Let her be confident. Let her be little. Let her be amazing.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Trading Up
I once read an article about a man that turned a red paperclip into a house. He simply traded up over and over until the things he was trading were more and more valuable. He traded 14 times, the last time for a house. As I sit here today looking at my 10 loads of laundry and messy kitchen, it occurred to me that this is not how I pictured my life, but especially not the way I wanted my kids to live. Now I completely get I can get off my lazy ass and clean instead of blog, but as I was pondering this, I got an idea and I wanted to share it.
The other day I had a friend over and I told him he needed to turn a penny into an awesome present for me. Well what if my kids were able to complete their own dreams with just a penny? I know it's a radical concept. A penny is pretty much like the white crayon of money. It is rarely useful, and quite honestly I have heard myself tell my kids several times that I don't want their pennies because they are useless.
Tonight, I am going to flip that concept on it's head. I am going to give each of my kids a penny and tell them that they are responsible to turn it into their dreams. I, on the other hand, are going to use a white crayon. I am going to encourage them to trade it up. They can use ebay, craigslist, gofundme, or any other means possible to change their penny into something that they never thought it could be.
I want a house. Not just a little house, but a nice 4 bedroom around where we live now so our kids don't have to switch schools. I am going to get it by trading up a white crayon on various websites until I get one. I could work hard 3 jobs and not raise my own children like most people in America do now, but that doesn't prove anything about accomplishing the near impossible to my children.
I will be blogging about this along the way. I will be sharing the small accomplishments and the big ones.
If I get enough amazing stories along the way, I will write a book about it. That is my other dream. I want to be a published author and dedicate my book to the reasons I have dreams. My kids deserve more and I want them to see that they don't have to settle because of circumstances.
Christopher would like an xbox, the newest version with every game to play on his large 3d flat-screen tv from his gaming chair.
Manda wants a bunny and to join 4-H rabbit club. She also wants her own smart phone with a data plan.
Sydney wants to become a level 10 gymnast and one day teach gymnasts. She wants a room filled with trophies and all the equipment necessary to practice everything.
Skye wants a laptop computer with internet. She also wants make-up and would love to pay for her own gymnasts class to free up some money for other things.
Austin is almost 3. I doubt he really understands this, but I know that cats reduce his stress and seizures. I think he would love to get a cat. His cat needs litter and food and shots.
Tonight I am going sit down with them and help them each come up with an individual plan to help them accomplish their dreams. I will provide links to these things in later blogs.
The other day I had a friend over and I told him he needed to turn a penny into an awesome present for me. Well what if my kids were able to complete their own dreams with just a penny? I know it's a radical concept. A penny is pretty much like the white crayon of money. It is rarely useful, and quite honestly I have heard myself tell my kids several times that I don't want their pennies because they are useless.
Tonight, I am going to flip that concept on it's head. I am going to give each of my kids a penny and tell them that they are responsible to turn it into their dreams. I, on the other hand, are going to use a white crayon. I am going to encourage them to trade it up. They can use ebay, craigslist, gofundme, or any other means possible to change their penny into something that they never thought it could be.
I want a house. Not just a little house, but a nice 4 bedroom around where we live now so our kids don't have to switch schools. I am going to get it by trading up a white crayon on various websites until I get one. I could work hard 3 jobs and not raise my own children like most people in America do now, but that doesn't prove anything about accomplishing the near impossible to my children.
I will be blogging about this along the way. I will be sharing the small accomplishments and the big ones.
If I get enough amazing stories along the way, I will write a book about it. That is my other dream. I want to be a published author and dedicate my book to the reasons I have dreams. My kids deserve more and I want them to see that they don't have to settle because of circumstances.
Christopher would like an xbox, the newest version with every game to play on his large 3d flat-screen tv from his gaming chair.
Manda wants a bunny and to join 4-H rabbit club. She also wants her own smart phone with a data plan.
Sydney wants to become a level 10 gymnast and one day teach gymnasts. She wants a room filled with trophies and all the equipment necessary to practice everything.
Skye wants a laptop computer with internet. She also wants make-up and would love to pay for her own gymnasts class to free up some money for other things.
Austin is almost 3. I doubt he really understands this, but I know that cats reduce his stress and seizures. I think he would love to get a cat. His cat needs litter and food and shots.
Tonight I am going sit down with them and help them each come up with an individual plan to help them accomplish their dreams. I will provide links to these things in later blogs.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Mac and Cheese Disappointments
Everyone has fond memories of mac and cheese from childhood. Nothing was more exciting than hearing you mother tell you that a box of Kraft (because let's face it, the off brands just never compared) was on the menu. It was creamy and cheesy, comforting because it was familiar and the taste never changed. So when my first serious boyfriend offered to make some shells and cheese I was quite reluctant. He was insistent that I would like it. I took one bite of the half-cooked shells, faked a smile, and told him they were a bit crunchy. Then he tried them and totally got my expression. The next day, he was unfortunate enough to have to eat my eggs, which may rock now, but totally sucked at 15.
Fast forward two years, and my now ex husband tries to make me mac and cheese when I was sick. He may have nailed the consistency of the noodles, but he had an epic fail on the cheese. Instead of milk and butter, he used pure water. I would have been better off eating the box.
Sometimes are memories play tricks on us. We like to remember things as better than the way they actually were. Last night I was talking to a friend and suddenly realized how bad my last engagement actually was verses how I try to remember it. Just because the majority of the relationship wasn't bad, it does not mean it was good either. It's like mac and cheese, the memories of the taste of properly made macaroni does not make the stuff you are currently eating any less disgusting.
Since becoming an adult, regular mac and cheese no longer cuts it. I find myself adding things like bacon, hotdogs, or onions. This brings me to my next point, being good, doesn't make something great. On Saturday night I picked up an old friend and took my son to the park. It was fun, not just because we are good friends, but because we created fun. He decided to crash a Mexican baptism and grab a beer. I stood outside while he walked in. Once inside a girl asked him who he knew at the party, and he said, "Jose." While this is completely racist, it was also hilarious. The girl proceed to inform him she has seen him with his girl outside. (Given my blonde hair and blue eyes I don't make a good Mexican.) He informed her that I was in fact not his girl and just a friend. Meanwhile the men at the party were only concerned that he was old enough to drink.
Obviously, this was probably the most I had laughed in a while, as well as being a great memory and drinking story. My point of this story, is that while that is my funny memory, it didn't make the action any more right. Not only should he have not crashed the party, but he shouldn't have been drinking for multiple reasons. Yet, when I reflect on this night later on, I can say with almost complete certainty that other people will find it funny too.
We have to put up with the bad sometimes to see the good in the entire picture. Today I wrote a blog entirely based on the concept of mac and cheese. Because two of my exes couldn't cook, I got to take away memories to share. I want to leave you with this: you are in the memories of many other people and one day they are going to pull out those memories and while they may have been a disappointment to you, they are hilarious to someone else.
Fast forward two years, and my now ex husband tries to make me mac and cheese when I was sick. He may have nailed the consistency of the noodles, but he had an epic fail on the cheese. Instead of milk and butter, he used pure water. I would have been better off eating the box.
Sometimes are memories play tricks on us. We like to remember things as better than the way they actually were. Last night I was talking to a friend and suddenly realized how bad my last engagement actually was verses how I try to remember it. Just because the majority of the relationship wasn't bad, it does not mean it was good either. It's like mac and cheese, the memories of the taste of properly made macaroni does not make the stuff you are currently eating any less disgusting.
Since becoming an adult, regular mac and cheese no longer cuts it. I find myself adding things like bacon, hotdogs, or onions. This brings me to my next point, being good, doesn't make something great. On Saturday night I picked up an old friend and took my son to the park. It was fun, not just because we are good friends, but because we created fun. He decided to crash a Mexican baptism and grab a beer. I stood outside while he walked in. Once inside a girl asked him who he knew at the party, and he said, "Jose." While this is completely racist, it was also hilarious. The girl proceed to inform him she has seen him with his girl outside. (Given my blonde hair and blue eyes I don't make a good Mexican.) He informed her that I was in fact not his girl and just a friend. Meanwhile the men at the party were only concerned that he was old enough to drink.
Obviously, this was probably the most I had laughed in a while, as well as being a great memory and drinking story. My point of this story, is that while that is my funny memory, it didn't make the action any more right. Not only should he have not crashed the party, but he shouldn't have been drinking for multiple reasons. Yet, when I reflect on this night later on, I can say with almost complete certainty that other people will find it funny too.
We have to put up with the bad sometimes to see the good in the entire picture. Today I wrote a blog entirely based on the concept of mac and cheese. Because two of my exes couldn't cook, I got to take away memories to share. I want to leave you with this: you are in the memories of many other people and one day they are going to pull out those memories and while they may have been a disappointment to you, they are hilarious to someone else.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
Seven was a big year for me. I was in dance, figure skating, and golf. For the life of me. I still can't dance or golf. However, it was also the year I went to Disney World.
Disney World is a magical place where if someone plays their cards right, they can see all the amazing charecters that made their childhood special. For weeks I planned out riding space mountian and shaking hands with Mickey Mouse. I saw myself in front of Cinderella's castle meeting Prince Charming and getting a kiss on the cheek. My whole concept of what Disney World was was based on the premise of commercials and childhood naivity.
So when I went to date years later, I entered it with the same false realities I had come across on tv specials and Hallmark movies. I would find the right guy, and even if I found the wrong one the first time, the right one would kick his ass and steal me away and leave me feeling happy every single day.
Shortly, after arriving at Disney I noticed a couple concerning things. Basically, I was too short to ride Space Mountain, and the place was HUGE so the odds of finding my childhood idols to say hi to was out of my grasp. I never once got to meet Mickey, and I found Prince Charming to be rather ugly in person. The things I was tall enough to ride were mondain everyday rides like the Dumbo ride, the teacups, bumper cars, and something with a troll that was a water ride that went down backwards.
That's when I read the sign for something I could ride: Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. It sounded thrilling, much better than the Snow White which didn't even have Snow White in it once. Unfortunately, the ride really wasn't that wild in the fun way I had envisioned. There were a lot of jerky twists and turns and really ugly and sometimes scary frogs along the path. There wasn't a point in the ride that I wasn't waiting for the end ultimately so I could find something better after exiting the ride.
Thus brings me back to my dating life. (Yes, I really am about to compare my dating life thus far to the childhood disappointments of my Disney vacation.) When I set out on the journey of dating I thought it sounded fun. I pictured endless options and me selecting Prince Charming in the end. I thought the whole thing would be a fun satisfying adventure worth waiting in line for.
The reality has been a bunch of twists and turns accompanied by scary frogs, that no matter how much I kissed them, just simply would not turn into a prince. Everytime I get back on the ride, I hope for a different or better result (aware doing the same thing over and over is the basic definition of insanity here). The end results always varied, but anticipating the end of the ride has become normal now. The first time I had no idea how or when things would conclude, but after a series of going down similar roads I have anticipated disappointment would occur shortly after getting aboard the ride.
This year I have decided that I am ready to try a new ride. I want something without the word "wild" in it. A tame and mild adventure would be satisfactory any time now. Some new and fun where I don't have a clue where it will end and I will have no desire to get off. I want to be whisked of to meet Mickey Mouse and stop looking for Prince Charming because he isn't that good-looking anyways. I want to find a happily ever after, that even if I get off the ride for one minute, I can't wait to get back on. I don't want to pay for admission, but I don't expect it to be free either. I am going to give what I get and get it back. This is the year I get off Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for good and see if I am tall enough for Space Mountain.
Disney World is a magical place where if someone plays their cards right, they can see all the amazing charecters that made their childhood special. For weeks I planned out riding space mountian and shaking hands with Mickey Mouse. I saw myself in front of Cinderella's castle meeting Prince Charming and getting a kiss on the cheek. My whole concept of what Disney World was was based on the premise of commercials and childhood naivity.
So when I went to date years later, I entered it with the same false realities I had come across on tv specials and Hallmark movies. I would find the right guy, and even if I found the wrong one the first time, the right one would kick his ass and steal me away and leave me feeling happy every single day.
Shortly, after arriving at Disney I noticed a couple concerning things. Basically, I was too short to ride Space Mountain, and the place was HUGE so the odds of finding my childhood idols to say hi to was out of my grasp. I never once got to meet Mickey, and I found Prince Charming to be rather ugly in person. The things I was tall enough to ride were mondain everyday rides like the Dumbo ride, the teacups, bumper cars, and something with a troll that was a water ride that went down backwards.
That's when I read the sign for something I could ride: Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. It sounded thrilling, much better than the Snow White which didn't even have Snow White in it once. Unfortunately, the ride really wasn't that wild in the fun way I had envisioned. There were a lot of jerky twists and turns and really ugly and sometimes scary frogs along the path. There wasn't a point in the ride that I wasn't waiting for the end ultimately so I could find something better after exiting the ride.
Thus brings me back to my dating life. (Yes, I really am about to compare my dating life thus far to the childhood disappointments of my Disney vacation.) When I set out on the journey of dating I thought it sounded fun. I pictured endless options and me selecting Prince Charming in the end. I thought the whole thing would be a fun satisfying adventure worth waiting in line for.
The reality has been a bunch of twists and turns accompanied by scary frogs, that no matter how much I kissed them, just simply would not turn into a prince. Everytime I get back on the ride, I hope for a different or better result (aware doing the same thing over and over is the basic definition of insanity here). The end results always varied, but anticipating the end of the ride has become normal now. The first time I had no idea how or when things would conclude, but after a series of going down similar roads I have anticipated disappointment would occur shortly after getting aboard the ride.
This year I have decided that I am ready to try a new ride. I want something without the word "wild" in it. A tame and mild adventure would be satisfactory any time now. Some new and fun where I don't have a clue where it will end and I will have no desire to get off. I want to be whisked of to meet Mickey Mouse and stop looking for Prince Charming because he isn't that good-looking anyways. I want to find a happily ever after, that even if I get off the ride for one minute, I can't wait to get back on. I don't want to pay for admission, but I don't expect it to be free either. I am going to give what I get and get it back. This is the year I get off Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for good and see if I am tall enough for Space Mountain.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Finding a Man the Happy Bunny Way
Everyone is so fake. Yes, those of you in a relationship I called you out. Your man does not make the sunshine. Nor, is he truly the best thing to ever happen to you. Let's just call the kettle black. You often find his skid-marked underwear left in the middle of the bedroom floor, the wet towel from tis morning dropped beside the toilet that he frequently misses and when you are taking he shower is the time he normally decides to take a healthy dump. Yes, you happy relationship people, QUIT LYING!!!!!
This leads me to my good friend, Happy Bunny. He doesn't lie. I know, I am wearing his shirt. I am actually quite proud to have bought it for myself. It's a glittery screen printed picture of him in a Santa hat saying, "I've been naughty. So what?" LOL right? I am also a huge fan of other things that he likes to say:
Love. It's just like hate, but somebody gets candy.
They're books. Unless you don't read, then their coasters.
It's all about me. Deal with it!
School prepares you for the real world which also sucks.
You smell like butt.
You're ugly and that's funny.
hi. loser.
I did it, but I'm blaming you.
it's ok if you want to drop dead
I love dumb people. It's fun to watch them trip.
Hating you makes me all warm inside.
I have a dream and in it something eats you.
I just realized, I don't care.
Your anger makes me happy.
Boys lie and kind of stink.
I hear the other ucky people calling you.
Now, these are all things I have thought at one time or another. I will admit it. You probably won't and I will be the first to tell you that that is called denial. So, I am going to break down his thoughts for you.
All relationships are based on the same principle: we love hating each other. A marriage occurs when two people agree to put up with each other until they divorce. Sad? Nah. Reality? Ya, probably. What would happen if we all just said what we really thought from day one. I will give you all the following account of what I not only am looking for, but what I know I won't find. Therefore I know that I will be comprising my own selfish desires should I find anyone that is almost as awesome as me. Yes, I am mean, deal with it.
If you are lucky enough to be allowed to touch me, I want candy. Yes, I read so don't assume you can give me an insult as a compliment and expect me to fall for a jerk. I want to be the center of the universe. Make me feel like I am, and I will pretend like you are the center of mine, but we will both know it's all about me. I am educated, both in the schools and in the streets. You won't be able to use me, or outsmart me. Think you are playing me, guess again cause I bet you are already being played. You smell. Shower daily. I do. You should too. If you are a loser i.e. you live with your mom, don't have your own car, haven't worked in a long time, can't pay to take me out, and/or have a bad relationship with your baby mama on account of you being a deadbeat, don't look at me. I don't hang out with losers, let alone date them. The second you do something to make me dislike you, everything you do will begin to annoy me more. If we break up, we can be friends. Friends don't fool around. Friends don't continue to tell each other how in love they are with me. If your friends are stupid, you probably are too. My friends are some of the most awesome people on the planet, especially my guy friends. Don't like my friends, get lost cause they're not going anywhere. Jealous of my guy friends, get over it or get gone, cause I am not leaving them for a man. I am not always going to look like this. Sometimes I will look super hot. Other times, not so much. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Sometimes I am going to leave my dirty laundry around the house just to see if you will whine and/or pick it up for me. I will cook for you. If I burn it, you better eat it with a smile or buy us both a pizza. You bring me Chinese, I will fall in love with you. You show up empty handed, you better be really cute!!!
Ya, so if you are still reading this, you now know why I am still single. You may have also figured out I am tired of settling. If a Happy Bunny philosophy applies to you, then we probably won't date. If you think this was funny, please share me with your friends.
This leads me to my good friend, Happy Bunny. He doesn't lie. I know, I am wearing his shirt. I am actually quite proud to have bought it for myself. It's a glittery screen printed picture of him in a Santa hat saying, "I've been naughty. So what?" LOL right? I am also a huge fan of other things that he likes to say:
Love. It's just like hate, but somebody gets candy.
They're books. Unless you don't read, then their coasters.
It's all about me. Deal with it!
School prepares you for the real world which also sucks.
You smell like butt.
You're ugly and that's funny.
hi. loser.
I did it, but I'm blaming you.
it's ok if you want to drop dead
I love dumb people. It's fun to watch them trip.
Hating you makes me all warm inside.
I have a dream and in it something eats you.
I just realized, I don't care.
Your anger makes me happy.
Boys lie and kind of stink.
I hear the other ucky people calling you.
Now, these are all things I have thought at one time or another. I will admit it. You probably won't and I will be the first to tell you that that is called denial. So, I am going to break down his thoughts for you.
All relationships are based on the same principle: we love hating each other. A marriage occurs when two people agree to put up with each other until they divorce. Sad? Nah. Reality? Ya, probably. What would happen if we all just said what we really thought from day one. I will give you all the following account of what I not only am looking for, but what I know I won't find. Therefore I know that I will be comprising my own selfish desires should I find anyone that is almost as awesome as me. Yes, I am mean, deal with it.
If you are lucky enough to be allowed to touch me, I want candy. Yes, I read so don't assume you can give me an insult as a compliment and expect me to fall for a jerk. I want to be the center of the universe. Make me feel like I am, and I will pretend like you are the center of mine, but we will both know it's all about me. I am educated, both in the schools and in the streets. You won't be able to use me, or outsmart me. Think you are playing me, guess again cause I bet you are already being played. You smell. Shower daily. I do. You should too. If you are a loser i.e. you live with your mom, don't have your own car, haven't worked in a long time, can't pay to take me out, and/or have a bad relationship with your baby mama on account of you being a deadbeat, don't look at me. I don't hang out with losers, let alone date them. The second you do something to make me dislike you, everything you do will begin to annoy me more. If we break up, we can be friends. Friends don't fool around. Friends don't continue to tell each other how in love they are with me. If your friends are stupid, you probably are too. My friends are some of the most awesome people on the planet, especially my guy friends. Don't like my friends, get lost cause they're not going anywhere. Jealous of my guy friends, get over it or get gone, cause I am not leaving them for a man. I am not always going to look like this. Sometimes I will look super hot. Other times, not so much. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Sometimes I am going to leave my dirty laundry around the house just to see if you will whine and/or pick it up for me. I will cook for you. If I burn it, you better eat it with a smile or buy us both a pizza. You bring me Chinese, I will fall in love with you. You show up empty handed, you better be really cute!!!
Ya, so if you are still reading this, you now know why I am still single. You may have also figured out I am tired of settling. If a Happy Bunny philosophy applies to you, then we probably won't date. If you think this was funny, please share me with your friends.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
My Thanks
For those of you that are avid readers, you are very aware that I use my blog as a tool to complain . This blog is a more accurate depiction of who I am. This is rare, so please stand up and take notice. Today I am writing on what I am thankful for with a twist.
I am thankful for the usual things, food, family, laughter, friends, and a place over head. However, I am also thankful for the things that have gone wrong in the last 2 years. I am thankful that I got left at 8.5 months pregnant. It has made me stronger and a better mom. It has pushed me to new levels of emotional strength and courage I didn't know existed within me. It has brought me great joy and hope. Once he left, I was free to connect with a ton of guys I am now proud to say are a great and understanding support system and I adore having the ability to have friends of the opposite sex without jealousy or trust issues. These men have also given me the ability to trust men again after a series of finding losers and boys. Thanks guys.
The shooting outside my building in front of my kids has showed me that life is precious. It gave me the opportunity to evaluate how we are living and where we are living. Are my kids going to pack heat at 12? I would like to think not and this awarded me the opportunity to have a series of serious discussions with my kids about bringing unnecessary drama into their lives. We also had the talk about drugs and prayer and the importance of faith directly because of this incident. Two of my children accepted Jesus and began regularly reading the Bible with me directly because of this.
I had all the money stolen off my debit card last year while giving birth to Austin. I never got any of it back. I know who did it, and I figure and am seeing this person reap what they sewed. I continued on doing what I had to do and made do with less. This included not having a contribution from my son's father. I learned to make my own laundry soap, dish cleaners, shampoo and toothpaste. We use coupons. I save a ton of money now thanks to the inconsideration of another. Now when we do have more money coming in, I will be able to save more and provide better. We will depend less on others while having more to contribute to society. One day we are going to adopt a family and give back the gifts given to us when we went without.
I have had several people that I lost as friends due to a poor choice of a relationship come back and share with me the power of forgiveness and friendship. Not every broken friendship needs super glue to repair, sometimes a simple "I'm sorry." is enough.
Mostly these last two years have made me appreciate that I control only myself. A lot of bad happens around us. A lot of bad shouldn't have to effect us. Only I can control my reactions to the situations around me. I can't control the actions of others and as a result I have learned when to let go, when to forgive, and who doesn't deserve my time. I have made friends that make my life interesting or better. I have gotten rid of those that create drama, that harbor anger, and that add weight to my load. I have learned that family are not the people you are born into, but rather the people that choose to remain in your life. Love is a choice and a verb. Love is meant to be shared. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful most for you. You take the time to read my blogs and live within my life. I love you all.
I am thankful for the usual things, food, family, laughter, friends, and a place over head. However, I am also thankful for the things that have gone wrong in the last 2 years. I am thankful that I got left at 8.5 months pregnant. It has made me stronger and a better mom. It has pushed me to new levels of emotional strength and courage I didn't know existed within me. It has brought me great joy and hope. Once he left, I was free to connect with a ton of guys I am now proud to say are a great and understanding support system and I adore having the ability to have friends of the opposite sex without jealousy or trust issues. These men have also given me the ability to trust men again after a series of finding losers and boys. Thanks guys.
The shooting outside my building in front of my kids has showed me that life is precious. It gave me the opportunity to evaluate how we are living and where we are living. Are my kids going to pack heat at 12? I would like to think not and this awarded me the opportunity to have a series of serious discussions with my kids about bringing unnecessary drama into their lives. We also had the talk about drugs and prayer and the importance of faith directly because of this incident. Two of my children accepted Jesus and began regularly reading the Bible with me directly because of this.
I had all the money stolen off my debit card last year while giving birth to Austin. I never got any of it back. I know who did it, and I figure and am seeing this person reap what they sewed. I continued on doing what I had to do and made do with less. This included not having a contribution from my son's father. I learned to make my own laundry soap, dish cleaners, shampoo and toothpaste. We use coupons. I save a ton of money now thanks to the inconsideration of another. Now when we do have more money coming in, I will be able to save more and provide better. We will depend less on others while having more to contribute to society. One day we are going to adopt a family and give back the gifts given to us when we went without.
I have had several people that I lost as friends due to a poor choice of a relationship come back and share with me the power of forgiveness and friendship. Not every broken friendship needs super glue to repair, sometimes a simple "I'm sorry." is enough.
Mostly these last two years have made me appreciate that I control only myself. A lot of bad happens around us. A lot of bad shouldn't have to effect us. Only I can control my reactions to the situations around me. I can't control the actions of others and as a result I have learned when to let go, when to forgive, and who doesn't deserve my time. I have made friends that make my life interesting or better. I have gotten rid of those that create drama, that harbor anger, and that add weight to my load. I have learned that family are not the people you are born into, but rather the people that choose to remain in your life. Love is a choice and a verb. Love is meant to be shared. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful most for you. You take the time to read my blogs and live within my life. I love you all.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
You are Excused from My Life, Sex, Money, Jobs and Much More
I have been watching this show on the CW called "Excused". For those of you that haven't seen it, two people of the same gender sit inside a house while people of the opposite gender come to the door and try to be let in. People are either accepted or dismissed based solely on a first impression. At first I hated it. It was so obvious that only the "typical attractive" people were going to be allowed inside. Ultimately, at the end the better looking of the 2 inside would be chosen by whoever was not excused.
This show really got me thinking though. How many people have we or do we dismiss from our lives based solely on a first impression? How many times have we despite our better judgement let someone in and found out that that person was truly amazing? Or how many people have we missed out on getting to know? How many people have missed out on knowing us? And finally what first impression are we truly giving off?
Let's start with my first question. I meet new people daily. I make an instant judgement about everyone without even realizing it. There is a personal checklist in my mind as I am certain there is in yours as well. Here are my basic credential list:
Do they smell? (Yes hunny, if you smell I will run as far the other way as possible. I am not ashamed of public gagging over extreme body odors either. Shower and use soap. Wash your clothes. I do, and I have a lot more going on than you.)
Are they attractive? (This works in multiple ways. If a girl I meet is attractive, it is then placed in to categories. All of us do this, so let me just admit it. If she is hotter then me, the next question becomes whether or not she is also single, ie competition. I hate being a second choice, just as any girl does. If she is less pretty, then is she single becomes important because it gives you confidence when you do go out with her. Girls like being the one getting hit on. We hate being the ugly friend. When we meet a man we also do this, except we put him in one of 3 categories: boyfriend material, date material, or friend. This is instant. Yes, we know what you are going to be to us almost always immediately and it's rare for you to change out of one of these groups. If you are put in the friend zone, either you're ugly, or you look poor. On a personal note money doesn't matter to me and I will date a poor guy with potential. Most girls will not.)
Do they have money? (This determines the whole course of your relationship. I am poor, dirt poor. I feel bad going out with people with money. This works in reverse too I am sure.)
Where are they from? (This last one has proven me wrong many times. I have friends of all races, but ghetto is not a race thing. You are either educated or not. It comes across in how you present yourself.)
Once I have a baseline grip on you I either disregard the conversation and move on to another more interesting person, facebook you, or exchange numbers which means we may actually hang out again in real life.
Where I live, first impressions of children are the most accurate indicators of the parents. Kids that have poor grammar, smell bad, are dressed poorly, and cuss a lot are always products of ignorant, uncaring and rude parents. Clean, happy kids, with clean clothes usually have parents I like and will continue to have play-dates with.
On to the big question, what first impression am I giving off. I really could careless what I have on. I shower and brush my hair, that should be good enough. My kids are clean, well-fed, and go everywhere with me. Some view that as responsible, some view it as I have too many kids all alone so there is something wrong with me. I have learned that the people that are bothered by my children are not people I would want to associate with anyways.
I think often once people get to know others they will discover certain aspects beyond appearances. For example, skinny and beautiful girls are often the most insecure. Bigger girls tend to accept themselves and have more confidence. The opposite is true in guys. Athletic, attractive men know it and brag about it. They often make the girl feel like if they don't date them, then the girl is missing out. I dated 2 men like that. One was actually hot, the other just thought he was to the point that he makes others believe it.
If it were only for first impressions, I would not be holding Austin as I type this. I had no attraction to his daddy whatsoever, but I made the mistake of giving him a chance, falling in love with his words, and watching him try to do it again to his current married girlfriend. It's sad because I know I will never fall out of love with his promises the way I have fallen out of love with the true him.
Currently, I wonder who am I missing out on, and who is missing out on me.
This show really got me thinking though. How many people have we or do we dismiss from our lives based solely on a first impression? How many times have we despite our better judgement let someone in and found out that that person was truly amazing? Or how many people have we missed out on getting to know? How many people have missed out on knowing us? And finally what first impression are we truly giving off?
Let's start with my first question. I meet new people daily. I make an instant judgement about everyone without even realizing it. There is a personal checklist in my mind as I am certain there is in yours as well. Here are my basic credential list:
Do they smell? (Yes hunny, if you smell I will run as far the other way as possible. I am not ashamed of public gagging over extreme body odors either. Shower and use soap. Wash your clothes. I do, and I have a lot more going on than you.)
Are they attractive? (This works in multiple ways. If a girl I meet is attractive, it is then placed in to categories. All of us do this, so let me just admit it. If she is hotter then me, the next question becomes whether or not she is also single, ie competition. I hate being a second choice, just as any girl does. If she is less pretty, then is she single becomes important because it gives you confidence when you do go out with her. Girls like being the one getting hit on. We hate being the ugly friend. When we meet a man we also do this, except we put him in one of 3 categories: boyfriend material, date material, or friend. This is instant. Yes, we know what you are going to be to us almost always immediately and it's rare for you to change out of one of these groups. If you are put in the friend zone, either you're ugly, or you look poor. On a personal note money doesn't matter to me and I will date a poor guy with potential. Most girls will not.)
Do they have money? (This determines the whole course of your relationship. I am poor, dirt poor. I feel bad going out with people with money. This works in reverse too I am sure.)
Where are they from? (This last one has proven me wrong many times. I have friends of all races, but ghetto is not a race thing. You are either educated or not. It comes across in how you present yourself.)
Once I have a baseline grip on you I either disregard the conversation and move on to another more interesting person, facebook you, or exchange numbers which means we may actually hang out again in real life.
Where I live, first impressions of children are the most accurate indicators of the parents. Kids that have poor grammar, smell bad, are dressed poorly, and cuss a lot are always products of ignorant, uncaring and rude parents. Clean, happy kids, with clean clothes usually have parents I like and will continue to have play-dates with.
On to the big question, what first impression am I giving off. I really could careless what I have on. I shower and brush my hair, that should be good enough. My kids are clean, well-fed, and go everywhere with me. Some view that as responsible, some view it as I have too many kids all alone so there is something wrong with me. I have learned that the people that are bothered by my children are not people I would want to associate with anyways.
I think often once people get to know others they will discover certain aspects beyond appearances. For example, skinny and beautiful girls are often the most insecure. Bigger girls tend to accept themselves and have more confidence. The opposite is true in guys. Athletic, attractive men know it and brag about it. They often make the girl feel like if they don't date them, then the girl is missing out. I dated 2 men like that. One was actually hot, the other just thought he was to the point that he makes others believe it.
If it were only for first impressions, I would not be holding Austin as I type this. I had no attraction to his daddy whatsoever, but I made the mistake of giving him a chance, falling in love with his words, and watching him try to do it again to his current married girlfriend. It's sad because I know I will never fall out of love with his promises the way I have fallen out of love with the true him.
Currently, I wonder who am I missing out on, and who is missing out on me.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Hot From Far Away
I met someone last night. She was awesome and we instantly were talking like we had been friends for 15 years. Her kids were cute and got along with my kids well so we are probably going to be spending a ton of time together. See I started out in September with this crazy goal: I am going to hold a 5 minute conversation with someone new every day. Thus far, one day purely by stranger text, I have done just that. Some were weird and I most likely won't talk to them again, but some are like this girl and I will be seeing her almost daily.
Into the good part now I promise: We began talking about guys that are HFFA. They look good at a distance, but when you walk up on them, they make you want to turn and walk the other way. Sometimes it isn't even about the looks.
Many "men" look good on paper. (Ladies we all have a checklist, let's just admit it.) Job, car, his own place, money in his pocket, good credit, nice looking, educated, funny, smart, responsible, mature and caring all have their place on my list. I once a had guy that looked great on paper. He did and said all the right things, but when it came down to it, he was extremely immature, irresponsible, and just plain uncaring. He still puts on his mask as prince charming every day and some girl is liable to believe it. I pity that girl.
The truth is we all have our ugly moments. (Mine normally come first thing in the morning, messy hair, bad, attitude, morning breath.) However, after a brush, toothpaste, and some caffeine, I am no longer hot from a distance, but I am ok close up too.
I caught myself being sad this week. A certain person told me that I would be married and happy had I not had my children. I love my kids. I love the good and the bad. I love waking up to a crying child crawling into my bed after a nightmare. I live for giving high fives when my children get a perfect score on a test. I like feeding the geese, eating happy meals, and singing silly songs because my radio isn't working. I live my life for my children.
Some people want to be firemen, police officers, ballerinas, doctors or lawyers when they grow up. While I wanted to be a journalist, lawyer, and a mortician at various points in my life, I always had two other goals: wife and mom. Those feelings never changed. I always wanted a big noisy house with lots of love and laughter. I think it may be that way since I was an only child. I also wanted to fall asleep with a man that loved me and my huge family at the end of the night. I have parts and pieces of what I want, but I never ever pictured them in the way in which they have came.
My life without having children with the wrong men, would have been so much different. I would have been more financially stable. I would probably have a thriving career. I would drive a nicer car, live in a better neighborhood, and go camping on weekends. However, I don't know that for a fact. Let's just say that I would have had those things, there is nothing to say that my SUV wouldn't get hit by a semi tomorrow and kill my whole family. No matter how upset I am with the way things didn't turn out, there is no way that I would exchange it for what could be worse.
One day I will find the guy that is as good in person as he is on paper. I won't walk up on him without his mask on and want to keep walking. He will love us and be a part of our family, not complete it. We are a complete family with or without a man in it. Basically, I am writing all this because it is what I am thinking as I meet strangers. They all seem nice. They all seem unhappy though. They all have problems and so far they have all opened up to me because my life (on paper) seems worse than their own. Not one of them has made me want to turn away when they are not "hot enough".
Lesson for the day, especially when it comes to facebook, we all act happy on the outside. We all look good from a distance. However, the ones that seem really happy at a distance, are usually the most ugly close up. Just saying.
Into the good part now I promise: We began talking about guys that are HFFA. They look good at a distance, but when you walk up on them, they make you want to turn and walk the other way. Sometimes it isn't even about the looks.
Many "men" look good on paper. (Ladies we all have a checklist, let's just admit it.) Job, car, his own place, money in his pocket, good credit, nice looking, educated, funny, smart, responsible, mature and caring all have their place on my list. I once a had guy that looked great on paper. He did and said all the right things, but when it came down to it, he was extremely immature, irresponsible, and just plain uncaring. He still puts on his mask as prince charming every day and some girl is liable to believe it. I pity that girl.
The truth is we all have our ugly moments. (Mine normally come first thing in the morning, messy hair, bad, attitude, morning breath.) However, after a brush, toothpaste, and some caffeine, I am no longer hot from a distance, but I am ok close up too.
I caught myself being sad this week. A certain person told me that I would be married and happy had I not had my children. I love my kids. I love the good and the bad. I love waking up to a crying child crawling into my bed after a nightmare. I live for giving high fives when my children get a perfect score on a test. I like feeding the geese, eating happy meals, and singing silly songs because my radio isn't working. I live my life for my children.
Some people want to be firemen, police officers, ballerinas, doctors or lawyers when they grow up. While I wanted to be a journalist, lawyer, and a mortician at various points in my life, I always had two other goals: wife and mom. Those feelings never changed. I always wanted a big noisy house with lots of love and laughter. I think it may be that way since I was an only child. I also wanted to fall asleep with a man that loved me and my huge family at the end of the night. I have parts and pieces of what I want, but I never ever pictured them in the way in which they have came.
My life without having children with the wrong men, would have been so much different. I would have been more financially stable. I would probably have a thriving career. I would drive a nicer car, live in a better neighborhood, and go camping on weekends. However, I don't know that for a fact. Let's just say that I would have had those things, there is nothing to say that my SUV wouldn't get hit by a semi tomorrow and kill my whole family. No matter how upset I am with the way things didn't turn out, there is no way that I would exchange it for what could be worse.
One day I will find the guy that is as good in person as he is on paper. I won't walk up on him without his mask on and want to keep walking. He will love us and be a part of our family, not complete it. We are a complete family with or without a man in it. Basically, I am writing all this because it is what I am thinking as I meet strangers. They all seem nice. They all seem unhappy though. They all have problems and so far they have all opened up to me because my life (on paper) seems worse than their own. Not one of them has made me want to turn away when they are not "hot enough".
Lesson for the day, especially when it comes to facebook, we all act happy on the outside. We all look good from a distance. However, the ones that seem really happy at a distance, are usually the most ugly close up. Just saying.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
How Old People Do It
This is probably not what some certain guys friends of mine thought it was. This is, however, me throwing my hat in the ring for the 2020 presidential race. Ok, so maybe not unless I get a tummy tuck, personal trainer, and a super sexy husband, but still I think I could save us billions in 5 easy steps.
Step 1) Cut back on what my be purchased with foodstamps. Why? It's like this. I worked at a grocery store and on several occasions saw people on foodstamps come in and by nothing but junk food and pop. These were also obese people. These are also typically your basic family on medicaid. Thus when these people are forced to make more nutricious choices due to their lack of ability to buy the junk food, they in turn lose weight. They lose weight, and their health problems decrease. When their health problems decrease they cost less money for medical costs. All of a sudden we have generated a healthy spiral of increased savings.
Step 2) Stop allowing certain illegal immigrants to have children here and then help them with food, medical and housing. Seriously, my great great great great some number of greats grandparents came over on the Mayflower. They went through a selection process to do so. So why can't we handpick the men and women we want in our country now. We want hard-working tax payers that give back to the community. If you are not a citizen and have a baby here, sure they can be a citizen, but no help supporting them unless their consenting over 18 guardian/parent is legal. You want to come here so badly, do the paperwork. I have never been handed anything. You shouldn't be either.
Step 3) Create a 3 and done rule. If you have 3 children on medicaid we will not take away you freedom to continue to procreate. However, any child born after the 3rd child is your expense to bare. No medical, no foodstamps, no tanf. Also within this rule, give a woman ten thousand dollars to stop at one or two. I figure that yes, 10 thousand is a lot of money, but it pales in comparison to the hospital costs of just giving birth to another child alone. Also, stop paying for epidurals. So many less women would get pregnant knowing they have to go all natural.
Step 4) Lower taxes on large corporations if they create at least 200 new jobs a year. So yes we are losing some tax money, but in the giant scheme of things we are gaining 200 tax payers that are not on unemployment benefits and can provide for their families. It just makes sense. Also creating jobs in one place helps to create jobs in other places. A new factory means that there are more people with money to spend, which in turn means more people are need to work at the places where money is being spent. Also more people then buy houses and create neighborhood stability. I am not seeing a downside.
Step 5) Stop giving away childcare vouchers to people that cannot make the cost of their voucher. Example: If I was to work a minimum wage job, I would make $280 a week. If I were to put my children into licensed childcare I would spend $45 a week per each of my 3 older children to have after school care. That's $135 a week. Since Skye has asthma, they want to charge me about $100 for her care. Then Austin's care since he is under a year old at a licensed daycare is around $198. That's $433 a week just in my childcare costs. Then they order my ex-husband to pay half taking my expense to $217. That would leave me with $63 of my paycheck and my ex-husband (who is supposedly making minimum wage pays me exactly $63 a week in support) with have nothing left of his paycheck. So let's be more reasonable. Help these situations with foodstamps and housing, but let's not waste tax payer dollars on finding them childcare and paying most of it. Let's just give these people the half the childcare expense they would be responsible for and let them have the resource to work at home. Whether we start offering online jobs, or make them become licensed as a childcare provider themselves. Or wait until all their kids are in school, make them work part-time and still help with food and housing. Let's do our math.
I have other steps too like legalizing marijuana so it can be taxed and making deadbeat dads pay more child support and starting empowerment classes to teach struggling single moms to do things like make their own laundry detergent and shop at garage sales. Also if we all spent something like $63 more a year on American made products we would create thousands of jobs. Ya, I am pretty sure you won't vote for me, but at least I have a plan. What does Obama have besides nice vacations on our dollar?
Step 1) Cut back on what my be purchased with foodstamps. Why? It's like this. I worked at a grocery store and on several occasions saw people on foodstamps come in and by nothing but junk food and pop. These were also obese people. These are also typically your basic family on medicaid. Thus when these people are forced to make more nutricious choices due to their lack of ability to buy the junk food, they in turn lose weight. They lose weight, and their health problems decrease. When their health problems decrease they cost less money for medical costs. All of a sudden we have generated a healthy spiral of increased savings.
Step 2) Stop allowing certain illegal immigrants to have children here and then help them with food, medical and housing. Seriously, my great great great great some number of greats grandparents came over on the Mayflower. They went through a selection process to do so. So why can't we handpick the men and women we want in our country now. We want hard-working tax payers that give back to the community. If you are not a citizen and have a baby here, sure they can be a citizen, but no help supporting them unless their consenting over 18 guardian/parent is legal. You want to come here so badly, do the paperwork. I have never been handed anything. You shouldn't be either.
Step 3) Create a 3 and done rule. If you have 3 children on medicaid we will not take away you freedom to continue to procreate. However, any child born after the 3rd child is your expense to bare. No medical, no foodstamps, no tanf. Also within this rule, give a woman ten thousand dollars to stop at one or two. I figure that yes, 10 thousand is a lot of money, but it pales in comparison to the hospital costs of just giving birth to another child alone. Also, stop paying for epidurals. So many less women would get pregnant knowing they have to go all natural.
Step 4) Lower taxes on large corporations if they create at least 200 new jobs a year. So yes we are losing some tax money, but in the giant scheme of things we are gaining 200 tax payers that are not on unemployment benefits and can provide for their families. It just makes sense. Also creating jobs in one place helps to create jobs in other places. A new factory means that there are more people with money to spend, which in turn means more people are need to work at the places where money is being spent. Also more people then buy houses and create neighborhood stability. I am not seeing a downside.
Step 5) Stop giving away childcare vouchers to people that cannot make the cost of their voucher. Example: If I was to work a minimum wage job, I would make $280 a week. If I were to put my children into licensed childcare I would spend $45 a week per each of my 3 older children to have after school care. That's $135 a week. Since Skye has asthma, they want to charge me about $100 for her care. Then Austin's care since he is under a year old at a licensed daycare is around $198. That's $433 a week just in my childcare costs. Then they order my ex-husband to pay half taking my expense to $217. That would leave me with $63 of my paycheck and my ex-husband (who is supposedly making minimum wage pays me exactly $63 a week in support) with have nothing left of his paycheck. So let's be more reasonable. Help these situations with foodstamps and housing, but let's not waste tax payer dollars on finding them childcare and paying most of it. Let's just give these people the half the childcare expense they would be responsible for and let them have the resource to work at home. Whether we start offering online jobs, or make them become licensed as a childcare provider themselves. Or wait until all their kids are in school, make them work part-time and still help with food and housing. Let's do our math.
I have other steps too like legalizing marijuana so it can be taxed and making deadbeat dads pay more child support and starting empowerment classes to teach struggling single moms to do things like make their own laundry detergent and shop at garage sales. Also if we all spent something like $63 more a year on American made products we would create thousands of jobs. Ya, I am pretty sure you won't vote for me, but at least I have a plan. What does Obama have besides nice vacations on our dollar?
Friday, August 19, 2011
I'm Just Not That Into You
Sometimes I write about my kids, sometimes I write about my personal life, sometimes about friends, and sometimes I just write about how confused I can be. This is one of those times. Am I making sense? Perhaps not. Or, just maybe, I am about to blow your mind.
When I met my son's father, there was nothing there. There wasn't an initial attraction, thus no real chemistry. He was into me however, so I began talking to him. By our third date I knew that I could fall in love with him. I did. I wasn't going to give up, let go, or let it die, but he did. He let people eat away at his decisions and let them no longer become his own thoughts and opinions and I lost what I had.
Since that moment, I have tried to find a comparable moment. I have talked to several men. I have been on dates. I have tried the "just friends" thing and the "relationship" thing, but I have not had that same connection, and since I no longer have that connection with baby daddy, it has become the ONLY thing missing in my life. I am picky. No reason to lie. I want someone with morals, values, my sense of humor, tall, handsome, and a great dad. (That's right people I am exclusively dating single fathers. If he can't take care of his own kids, he sure as heck can't take care of mine.)
I have begun the process of becoming the woman a man would want to marry as well, don't think I am expecting the world of a man when I can't even deliver the moon. I am working out daily. (I will post result pictures at my son's first birthday party when I should hit my expected goal weight.) I am keeping the house clean, the laundry done, and my kids well organized. I am reading the Bible regularly, attending church, and praying for the right man to enter our lives and complete our family.
I guess I am having trouble dealing with the concept that this may not happen. I can hope, wish, pray and prepare for a husband all I want, but if I am not feeling it, it's just not right. I also find myself pulling away from certain types of people I formerly associated with. If you drink heavily, do drugs, or use a lot of immoral behavior to control your life, I haven't been talking to as much. I am working on being a better mother so that if and when I do find the right man I can focus on the relationship knowing that the rest of my life is in order.
My kids have been praying for me to find a husband too. They miss baby daddy a lot especially now that they are getting older and beginning to realize the type of man their father actually is. I have stopped dwelling on my personal hurt and have turned my focus on what I can do to help the hurt in others. I may walk away from this experience with many new friends, but so far I often feel like a lot of my conversations are one sided or aimed at trying to get in my pants.
I have made many mistakes in the last 9 years. Having sex again outside of marriage will not be one of them. If you know that "right" guy for me or you think you do, send him my way. I am not opposed to being set up. I want to be in love and happy again. I really want the opportunity to be all I can for myself and for my children first, but when I meet the right guy, I will just know and pray he knows too.
When I met my son's father, there was nothing there. There wasn't an initial attraction, thus no real chemistry. He was into me however, so I began talking to him. By our third date I knew that I could fall in love with him. I did. I wasn't going to give up, let go, or let it die, but he did. He let people eat away at his decisions and let them no longer become his own thoughts and opinions and I lost what I had.
Since that moment, I have tried to find a comparable moment. I have talked to several men. I have been on dates. I have tried the "just friends" thing and the "relationship" thing, but I have not had that same connection, and since I no longer have that connection with baby daddy, it has become the ONLY thing missing in my life. I am picky. No reason to lie. I want someone with morals, values, my sense of humor, tall, handsome, and a great dad. (That's right people I am exclusively dating single fathers. If he can't take care of his own kids, he sure as heck can't take care of mine.)
I have begun the process of becoming the woman a man would want to marry as well, don't think I am expecting the world of a man when I can't even deliver the moon. I am working out daily. (I will post result pictures at my son's first birthday party when I should hit my expected goal weight.) I am keeping the house clean, the laundry done, and my kids well organized. I am reading the Bible regularly, attending church, and praying for the right man to enter our lives and complete our family.
I guess I am having trouble dealing with the concept that this may not happen. I can hope, wish, pray and prepare for a husband all I want, but if I am not feeling it, it's just not right. I also find myself pulling away from certain types of people I formerly associated with. If you drink heavily, do drugs, or use a lot of immoral behavior to control your life, I haven't been talking to as much. I am working on being a better mother so that if and when I do find the right man I can focus on the relationship knowing that the rest of my life is in order.
My kids have been praying for me to find a husband too. They miss baby daddy a lot especially now that they are getting older and beginning to realize the type of man their father actually is. I have stopped dwelling on my personal hurt and have turned my focus on what I can do to help the hurt in others. I may walk away from this experience with many new friends, but so far I often feel like a lot of my conversations are one sided or aimed at trying to get in my pants.
I have made many mistakes in the last 9 years. Having sex again outside of marriage will not be one of them. If you know that "right" guy for me or you think you do, send him my way. I am not opposed to being set up. I want to be in love and happy again. I really want the opportunity to be all I can for myself and for my children first, but when I meet the right guy, I will just know and pray he knows too.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
What If We Were Wrong About Each Other
I think by now you all know, I gave away school related essentials to kids that needed it this last Saturday. I have been doing this for three years now. Every year the media reports on the line, mostly how "massive" and "impressive" it is. What they don't tell you is the impact of what this event does. They don't tell the real stories of the people in line. They don't tell you the stories about the volunteers. Some of you know my story, some are still piecing it together. For those that know, you know why I am there until 11pm the night before and back before 6am the next morning. Those stories, while important and relevant, do not compare to the under-cover stories I hear in the volunteer room. The stories are not that of the families we are helping, or even the volunteers, but rather the following is my personal conviction about the lack of administrative caring within the school.
This is a portion of the line for the people I spent the day directing volunteers where to go and help. The need is greater every year.
I have had many teachers in my lifetime. Some cared, some really didn't. I still have never forgotten how my 8th grade history teacher still had to refer to me as, "you" at nearly the end of my 8th grade year. Yes, I was quiet, but I got an A in his class. If he called on me, I always had the right answer. My seventh grade history teacher once made me stop giving answers in a game, because I was right more than I should have been. You see over the years I had learned if you stop talking, and really listen you will find the truth. Also, then when you actually speak what you say is more meaningful. The following is my "I Have a Dream" speech. While I am not Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I do think that after my Saturday all that I am about to say is valid.
What if on the first day of class the teacher didn't judge you by your appearance? What if she looked past your dirty clothes and tangled hair? What if she didn't see your backpack that you had to wait 6 hours in line to get because your parents couldn't afford it? What if the opposite were true? What if she didn't look at your $60 jeans and name brand shirt? What if she didn't look at your manicured nails and perfect hair? What she didn't notice your well balanced lunch in a shiny new lunch box? What if she didn't judge you before you arrived based on other teachers opinions? What if she decided to care whether your parents do or not? What if she decided to treat everyone as equals? What if she assumed you were smart? What if she took a personal interest in you?
What if she let everyone start on the same playing field? What if she told you that the way you are treated at home will not be the way you are treated here? What if she talked to you? What if she knew more about you than your name? What if there was no judgement placed on you because of your older siblings? What if she looked past your neighborhood, your address, and your house? What if while she cared that your daddy is in jail, she didn't hold it against you? What if because you come from these things she held you to a higher standard? What if she took extra time to love you instead of judge you? What if she decided to push you further?
What if grades were based on your personal effort? What if she didn't just pass you to get rid of you? What if you had to meet standards laid before you? What if can't was taken out of your vocabulary? What if because one teacher cared one student didn't do drugs? What if because one teacher cared one student stayed out of jail? What if because one teacher cared a little girl didn't have to go home to her drug addicted mother passed out on the couch? What if because one teacher cared a child wasn't found dead in their abusive environment? What if they cared?
What if that one teacher, turned into all teachers? What if all the teachers cared about every student? What if they all stopped judging? What if they all stopped talking about the children as a job and a paycheck? What if they saw the children as the future? What if those children had children? What if their children changed the neighborhood? What if the drugs stopped? What if they all went to college? What if they all came back to improve the neighborhood?
You see people, I spent a day in the volunteer room with the 4 teachers that bothered to care. Even those teachers talked about how when the parents don't care it's pointless to try to teach the children in the room. The behavior of the kids is so bad in the poor neighborhoods, it's almost impossible to teach anything. It left me wondering why they don't change it. If they got up in front of the students and told them they all could have an A. They were not going to be graded on their clothes, money, cleanliness, parents, siblings, neighborhood, or anything else that may be a concern for them so they could focus more on studying and less on worrying about being judged.
The differences within elementary schools within my neighborhood and the one I send my kids to haunt me. When I went to open house night at my kids' school they were great with hugs, by the teachers and by the principal. When I told my twins kindergarten teacher what I do just to get them to the better school, I knew she was going to use that information to push my girls harder instead of holding them back.
95 percent of students in my neighborhood school are on free lunch. They all have the same backpack, mostly because we give them away for free and their parents are willing to wait in line for as much as 10 hours just to get them one. The teachers are more concerned with disciplining the students then giving an education. I know not just from what I heard, but also because the "good/quiet" students have teachers that don't even know their name. If you show up and don't hit somebody, no one bothers to get to know you.
To conclude this I want you all to know I met a grandma that was a retired guidance counselor. She sent her grandchild to the school my children attend. She made the principals honor roll there for 2 years. Then she moved into my neighborhood. The child was quiet, did her work, but got all Fs except for one lone D. You may say the work was harder. I have seen and compared my son's work to the work being done here, his is by far the more challenging. So one has to ask how does a good student fall through the cracks? However, that wasn't my question. My question was rather, "how does one let a child fall through the cracks, and then move them to the next grade?" You all think about that.
I have had many teachers in my lifetime. Some cared, some really didn't. I still have never forgotten how my 8th grade history teacher still had to refer to me as, "you" at nearly the end of my 8th grade year. Yes, I was quiet, but I got an A in his class. If he called on me, I always had the right answer. My seventh grade history teacher once made me stop giving answers in a game, because I was right more than I should have been. You see over the years I had learned if you stop talking, and really listen you will find the truth. Also, then when you actually speak what you say is more meaningful. The following is my "I Have a Dream" speech. While I am not Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I do think that after my Saturday all that I am about to say is valid.
What if on the first day of class the teacher didn't judge you by your appearance? What if she looked past your dirty clothes and tangled hair? What if she didn't see your backpack that you had to wait 6 hours in line to get because your parents couldn't afford it? What if the opposite were true? What if she didn't look at your $60 jeans and name brand shirt? What if she didn't look at your manicured nails and perfect hair? What she didn't notice your well balanced lunch in a shiny new lunch box? What if she didn't judge you before you arrived based on other teachers opinions? What if she decided to care whether your parents do or not? What if she decided to treat everyone as equals? What if she assumed you were smart? What if she took a personal interest in you?
What if she let everyone start on the same playing field? What if she told you that the way you are treated at home will not be the way you are treated here? What if she talked to you? What if she knew more about you than your name? What if there was no judgement placed on you because of your older siblings? What if she looked past your neighborhood, your address, and your house? What if while she cared that your daddy is in jail, she didn't hold it against you? What if because you come from these things she held you to a higher standard? What if she took extra time to love you instead of judge you? What if she decided to push you further?
What if grades were based on your personal effort? What if she didn't just pass you to get rid of you? What if you had to meet standards laid before you? What if can't was taken out of your vocabulary? What if because one teacher cared one student didn't do drugs? What if because one teacher cared one student stayed out of jail? What if because one teacher cared a little girl didn't have to go home to her drug addicted mother passed out on the couch? What if because one teacher cared a child wasn't found dead in their abusive environment? What if they cared?
What if that one teacher, turned into all teachers? What if all the teachers cared about every student? What if they all stopped judging? What if they all stopped talking about the children as a job and a paycheck? What if they saw the children as the future? What if those children had children? What if their children changed the neighborhood? What if the drugs stopped? What if they all went to college? What if they all came back to improve the neighborhood?
You see people, I spent a day in the volunteer room with the 4 teachers that bothered to care. Even those teachers talked about how when the parents don't care it's pointless to try to teach the children in the room. The behavior of the kids is so bad in the poor neighborhoods, it's almost impossible to teach anything. It left me wondering why they don't change it. If they got up in front of the students and told them they all could have an A. They were not going to be graded on their clothes, money, cleanliness, parents, siblings, neighborhood, or anything else that may be a concern for them so they could focus more on studying and less on worrying about being judged.
The differences within elementary schools within my neighborhood and the one I send my kids to haunt me. When I went to open house night at my kids' school they were great with hugs, by the teachers and by the principal. When I told my twins kindergarten teacher what I do just to get them to the better school, I knew she was going to use that information to push my girls harder instead of holding them back.
95 percent of students in my neighborhood school are on free lunch. They all have the same backpack, mostly because we give them away for free and their parents are willing to wait in line for as much as 10 hours just to get them one. The teachers are more concerned with disciplining the students then giving an education. I know not just from what I heard, but also because the "good/quiet" students have teachers that don't even know their name. If you show up and don't hit somebody, no one bothers to get to know you.
To conclude this I want you all to know I met a grandma that was a retired guidance counselor. She sent her grandchild to the school my children attend. She made the principals honor roll there for 2 years. Then she moved into my neighborhood. The child was quiet, did her work, but got all Fs except for one lone D. You may say the work was harder. I have seen and compared my son's work to the work being done here, his is by far the more challenging. So one has to ask how does a good student fall through the cracks? However, that wasn't my question. My question was rather, "how does one let a child fall through the cracks, and then move them to the next grade?" You all think about that.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I'm Gonna Make Fun Of You Now...
Some of you may have seen my facebook post on bullying yesterday and I would like to take this opportunity to explain my theory. You may take it and run with it, or throw it out the window, I really don't care. This is MY theory and I AM entitled to it.
I think as a society we spend way too much time on the whole "poor me" thing. Oh, "poor me", I got dumped, I am too fat, my car broke down, the popular kids made fun of my hair, I can't sit with the "cool kids" because I am not wearing name brands. Get over YOURSELF!!! Yes, I said it. While it is very wrong for anyone to make fun of another person there is a reason behind it. Usually the people making fun of you are insecure about themselves and need to make fun of you to feel better about themselves.
That can't be the case though, because they are "popular" and so there is no way they can possibly be insecure. All you want to do is fit in with their group. You are so wrong. They became popular because other kids allowed them to ruin their self-esteem and control the way the feel to a point that we have become so insecure that we believe their lies and turn into the losers that we allow them to make us.
Let me put this another way. In the real adult world, we continue our high school antics. I was working in a local mall. In this mall there were some very distinct cliques. There were the 40 somethings that had been mall managers way too long and they tried to avoid all the younger managers because they wanted to look like they knew what they were doing and we there because they were actually good at their jobs when the reality was that they had stayed too long and couldn't make a better wage elsewhere. There were the teenagers that worked part-time and knew each other from school. Then there were two very different groups in their 20s and 30s. The first group worked in places like technology stores and book stores. They were a bit different, probably not in the "in-crowd" during school. Then there were the "hot girls". Yes, you know you have seen them. These are the pretty girls that work mostly in fashion related stores. They all date men with money, so they really don't need to make that much. Plus all the male shoppers bring them little treats like donuts so they really don't have to buy anything.
I began as a tech geek in the mall. I was still a bit chunky from having Skye and I was a quiet worker that kept to myself. After being there about 6 months I made a personal choice to get all the weight off. Everyone noticed. The security guards would stop and make small talk. And yes, I even got fresh donuts every morning I worked thanks to AT&T guys. Eventually, the "hot girls" had taken notice. I got an invite to go out drinking after work. I politely explained I had to get back to my 4 children at the time, but thanks anyway. The "hot girls" continued to talk to me daily now. While it was nice to have the option of being a part of this exclusive group, I realized I really didn't like them. We had nothing in common. They all were dating these super-model looking men and I was happily single. None of them had kids and I had 4. So on some level the girls I thought I wanted to be associated with, were really never people I would choose for friends at all.
So flash back to high school. You can picture that core group of people that was "popular". Maybe they were jocks, had money, a good car, or name-brand clothing, but were any of them really friends? Were they even really friends with each other? I love watching them on facebook now. Ya, I may not have been "good enough" (whatever you define that as) in high school to hang out with them, but they sure do like to send me facebook requests now. I will never forget being the quiet girl in their mind. I would listen in on all their conversations in high school, and really they all hated each other. I really and truly believe none of them were ever actually friends. It was all a big fake act complete with hugs, and false compliments that were denied the instant one of them left the room so the others could insult her. It was sad.
Which brings me to my next point, why are all these kids so hell bent on hanging out with kids that don't like them? They don't even like each other. Putting on name brand clothes, winning the lottery, working your butt off to afford a new car, those things will not change who you are inside. A nerd can't put on a pair of Silver's and suddenly become prom queen. It only happens in the movies.
I would also like to say that a bunch of them have reached out to me. They never once apologized for excluding me, I don't want that. I threw carrots at the fat girls (I am truly and sincerely sorry for that btw. I was the "fat girl" within my own circle.) The reason these people are coming to me: divorce and child custody. Yes, that's right apparently I am the resident child custody and divorce expert of my high school. I have had 7 people contact me in the last 3 months alone. I am not complaining at all. Anyone that needs help with either of these I am more than happy to help, but I am surprised. More importantly, I think they were surprised. I am funny, nice, smart and helpful. since they never talked to me before they had no idea and I really could see a few of these people in my life for a while. I think a lot of it has to do with a personal change in my life though.
We have to start by liking ourselves. I am going to be brutally honest for a moment. My oldest son is a nerd. He wears glasses, has a nerdy sense of humor, and let's face it he has a lot of his dad's ideas in him. (By that I mean he thinks that working in a factory after high school while living on grandma's couch constitutes a life plan) I buy Christopher (my son's name) all the name brand clothes I can find. I made sure he got good glasses for his face. I encourage him to keep his hairstyle current. I buy him the "right" shoes. All his school supplies this year were unique. I do this stuff so that my son can never blame anyone for his level of popularity but himself.
See I spent a lot of time blaming my parents since I was unpopular. My parents were too old to dress me fashionably. They were old school and never bought me anything trendy. I didn't have a cell phone until I was 19. My mom thought elastic waist blue jeans were the "in" style cause that was all she wore. So I blamed my mom and dad for what would have probably had the same outcome either way. I wasn't quite a nerd, but I definitely was not popular. Sure I had my share of boyfriends, had a fair amount of parties, and sat with a close knit circle, however, I never got invited to go do anything with the carpeted-side of the cafeteria kids freshman year.
As for my other kids, Manda and Sydney are twins. They will be instantly popular as they know the other set of twins which are their brother's cousins. Sydney is extremely athletic and will most likely just fit right in. Manda is quiet, but she's very pretty. Everywhere we go, boys follow her around already. (Yes, I will be investing in a large stick to keep by my front door) Skye is just lovable with a huge personality and with her sisters to pave the way I am certain she will be just as popular. All 4 of my older kids will be in high school at the same time.
The difference between my kids and the other kids though will be that my kids will not be victims. They will not sit around and say "why me". Instead my kids will go out and create their own path. I tell my kids daily that life is too short to waste trying to please people that don't like you. Like yourself. Find others you like. Share your love with the world and you will feel better about yourself.
I think Will Smith says it best, " Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too. Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."
I think as a society we spend way too much time on the whole "poor me" thing. Oh, "poor me", I got dumped, I am too fat, my car broke down, the popular kids made fun of my hair, I can't sit with the "cool kids" because I am not wearing name brands. Get over YOURSELF!!! Yes, I said it. While it is very wrong for anyone to make fun of another person there is a reason behind it. Usually the people making fun of you are insecure about themselves and need to make fun of you to feel better about themselves.
That can't be the case though, because they are "popular" and so there is no way they can possibly be insecure. All you want to do is fit in with their group. You are so wrong. They became popular because other kids allowed them to ruin their self-esteem and control the way the feel to a point that we have become so insecure that we believe their lies and turn into the losers that we allow them to make us.
Let me put this another way. In the real adult world, we continue our high school antics. I was working in a local mall. In this mall there were some very distinct cliques. There were the 40 somethings that had been mall managers way too long and they tried to avoid all the younger managers because they wanted to look like they knew what they were doing and we there because they were actually good at their jobs when the reality was that they had stayed too long and couldn't make a better wage elsewhere. There were the teenagers that worked part-time and knew each other from school. Then there were two very different groups in their 20s and 30s. The first group worked in places like technology stores and book stores. They were a bit different, probably not in the "in-crowd" during school. Then there were the "hot girls". Yes, you know you have seen them. These are the pretty girls that work mostly in fashion related stores. They all date men with money, so they really don't need to make that much. Plus all the male shoppers bring them little treats like donuts so they really don't have to buy anything.
I began as a tech geek in the mall. I was still a bit chunky from having Skye and I was a quiet worker that kept to myself. After being there about 6 months I made a personal choice to get all the weight off. Everyone noticed. The security guards would stop and make small talk. And yes, I even got fresh donuts every morning I worked thanks to AT&T guys. Eventually, the "hot girls" had taken notice. I got an invite to go out drinking after work. I politely explained I had to get back to my 4 children at the time, but thanks anyway. The "hot girls" continued to talk to me daily now. While it was nice to have the option of being a part of this exclusive group, I realized I really didn't like them. We had nothing in common. They all were dating these super-model looking men and I was happily single. None of them had kids and I had 4. So on some level the girls I thought I wanted to be associated with, were really never people I would choose for friends at all.
So flash back to high school. You can picture that core group of people that was "popular". Maybe they were jocks, had money, a good car, or name-brand clothing, but were any of them really friends? Were they even really friends with each other? I love watching them on facebook now. Ya, I may not have been "good enough" (whatever you define that as) in high school to hang out with them, but they sure do like to send me facebook requests now. I will never forget being the quiet girl in their mind. I would listen in on all their conversations in high school, and really they all hated each other. I really and truly believe none of them were ever actually friends. It was all a big fake act complete with hugs, and false compliments that were denied the instant one of them left the room so the others could insult her. It was sad.
Which brings me to my next point, why are all these kids so hell bent on hanging out with kids that don't like them? They don't even like each other. Putting on name brand clothes, winning the lottery, working your butt off to afford a new car, those things will not change who you are inside. A nerd can't put on a pair of Silver's and suddenly become prom queen. It only happens in the movies.
I would also like to say that a bunch of them have reached out to me. They never once apologized for excluding me, I don't want that. I threw carrots at the fat girls (I am truly and sincerely sorry for that btw. I was the "fat girl" within my own circle.) The reason these people are coming to me: divorce and child custody. Yes, that's right apparently I am the resident child custody and divorce expert of my high school. I have had 7 people contact me in the last 3 months alone. I am not complaining at all. Anyone that needs help with either of these I am more than happy to help, but I am surprised. More importantly, I think they were surprised. I am funny, nice, smart and helpful. since they never talked to me before they had no idea and I really could see a few of these people in my life for a while. I think a lot of it has to do with a personal change in my life though.
We have to start by liking ourselves. I am going to be brutally honest for a moment. My oldest son is a nerd. He wears glasses, has a nerdy sense of humor, and let's face it he has a lot of his dad's ideas in him. (By that I mean he thinks that working in a factory after high school while living on grandma's couch constitutes a life plan) I buy Christopher (my son's name) all the name brand clothes I can find. I made sure he got good glasses for his face. I encourage him to keep his hairstyle current. I buy him the "right" shoes. All his school supplies this year were unique. I do this stuff so that my son can never blame anyone for his level of popularity but himself.
See I spent a lot of time blaming my parents since I was unpopular. My parents were too old to dress me fashionably. They were old school and never bought me anything trendy. I didn't have a cell phone until I was 19. My mom thought elastic waist blue jeans were the "in" style cause that was all she wore. So I blamed my mom and dad for what would have probably had the same outcome either way. I wasn't quite a nerd, but I definitely was not popular. Sure I had my share of boyfriends, had a fair amount of parties, and sat with a close knit circle, however, I never got invited to go do anything with the carpeted-side of the cafeteria kids freshman year.
As for my other kids, Manda and Sydney are twins. They will be instantly popular as they know the other set of twins which are their brother's cousins. Sydney is extremely athletic and will most likely just fit right in. Manda is quiet, but she's very pretty. Everywhere we go, boys follow her around already. (Yes, I will be investing in a large stick to keep by my front door) Skye is just lovable with a huge personality and with her sisters to pave the way I am certain she will be just as popular. All 4 of my older kids will be in high school at the same time.
The difference between my kids and the other kids though will be that my kids will not be victims. They will not sit around and say "why me". Instead my kids will go out and create their own path. I tell my kids daily that life is too short to waste trying to please people that don't like you. Like yourself. Find others you like. Share your love with the world and you will feel better about yourself.
I think Will Smith says it best, " Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too. Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
It's Just A Part In The Movie Of My Life
So I read this book. (OMG call the media, Jenelle had time to read a book!!!) It was called Consequential Strangers. The gist of the book is basically that the majority of the people and events that shape our lives, contribute to our happiness, or helped us get where we are today are not people within our family. Rather we drift through life meeting a bunch of "strangers" that give us a chance, give us hope, teach us a lesson and leave us with a memory. It asks you to make a list of the people or moments for those moments that contained many people in their production that made you who you are. So, I made a brief list. This is just a starting off point as the book of my life has yet to be written. If you made my list, chances are you will also be in my book. Congrats!
I guess I will start my list with the obvious. The following people were teachers from various points in my career. Perhaps you also had these teachers. Perhaps these teachers also shaped your life. Feel free to comment or message me if it is so. I want tons of comments on this blog!
Mrs. Noaker was my 6th grade teacher. She was the first person to ever tell me my real problem with school: I was bored. At parent teacher conferences she explained to my mom that the reason I made stupid mistakes (keep in mind at this point I was a straight A student) was that I was not being challenged enough. I tend to tone out when I am bored or just hurry through my work because it is too easy for me. Even now, I am still this way. I make stupid errors, even misspelling my child's name just to get the easy part out of the way. She decided to place me in journalism the following year. That was where I met my next teacher.
Mr. Free was my 7th and 8th grade journalism teacher. He was also the teacher I chose to come back and do my cadet teaching with. I think he had to be my favorite teacher basically because I was never bored. It wasn't a normal class. It had different, more adult expectations and he treated us as responsible teens without us having to earn it. Plus I still use his "no whining" slogan with my own children. I think the biggest impact he had on my life was telling me that I would make a great teacher. I may have never became a "teacher", but I am a mom of 5 kids that I shape, mold and teach daily. I hope I am fulfilling the expectations he had of me.
Mrs. Greene was my 11th grade Honors English teacher. She taught me how to love. See she didn't play favorites. Every student was her favorite. Every class was loved equally. At the end of every week we got a love letter from her. It was always unique just for that class. The more I think about it, the more I want to write each of my children a weekly love letter. Perhaps I will even set up an email account just for each one to send them pictures and emails about the weeks events in honor of one of my favorite teachers. I think the thing I loved most about her is something I will never do. she invited us all to her house and let us eat anywhere we wanted. She had white carpet. If only I were so brave.
Ms. Shoener was my data analysis and probability teacher. I want to clarify that she is on the list because not every experience in life is a good one. She gave me my first D. Had I earned that D I would have accepted it and moved on. However, we had a final project I had been working on for 3 weeks. We were all given a disk by her, to do our project on the school computers. The day before it was due, she had seen my project, looked it over, complimented it, and told me I could print it the next day as we were out of time. So the next morning while all of us were getting ready to print our projects I inserted my disk. The computer blew up....literally had smoke come out of it. It ate my disk leaving my 175 point final project inside a computer that couldn't be used. No credit. No partial credit. All my work in the class had been worthless as she refused to award me any points. I took my D and walked away stronger as I knew that I would not be a person that bases all my decisions on what can be seen that day.
Linda Roach was my pastor's wife. She was a strong woman that held a strong belief in prayer and in signs. Every time she asked for an answer God sent her a clear one. She had an amazing walk with God that I aspire to have.
Autumn was one of the foster children that Linda and her husband Mike took in. She was a 16 year old pregnant with twins and was a twin herself. She was the first person to tell me that it's ok to make mistakes as long as you walk away a better person. She intended on giving them up for adoption. She wasn't around long enough for me to discover if she did, but wherever she is, I know that she is making something of herself.
Billy Blanks invented Taebo. He is on my list simply because I love Taebo and it's the only workout that I have ever gotten immediate and lasting results with. I just got his insane abs and I intend on being in a goal outfit by Austin's first birthday with his help.
My ex-husband has taught me how much I will tolerate, how strong I can be, to make better choices, to stand on my own two feet, to be a better parent, how long I can go without food (while pregnant), how to hide bruises and tears, and most importantly when to walk away. I have 4 amazing children as a result of tolerating too much. That I will never regret. He failed to take away my ideals about love and family. He only temporarily robbed me of my self-esteem. I stand here today stronger, smarter, healthier, and better off because I was able to be pushed to my limits and escape.
Stephen King is my favorite writer. I aspire to have half the fan base he does.
Things Remembered, ah yes a store. You taught me how people will buy anything at any price if you spin them the right story. You taught me that a high mark-up and low wages will make a great profit. You also showed me pregnancy discrimination like I will never forget. Thanks for that.
LaCasa has taught me how to have a ghetto apartment and live. I have put up with trash in the halls, drunk men peeing in the elevator and now finally a rape on the backstair case. In other words, you have taught me when I need to move.
College has taught me that I hate college. I don't know how to study, but because I am talented at writing papers, not only can I pass a class, but I can walk away remembering none of it.
Chris Hempel, I don't think you read my blogs. If by some chance you read this I want let everyone know that you have a big role in the reason I am still alive. For those of you that don't know, Chris was my best friend. He encouraged me to walk away from my marriage. Once I did he was right there bringing me brownies and calling to check on me 5 or 6 times a day to know I was safe. After all of this I hurt him badly by being with someone else and yet he has forgiven me. I wish he was still my best friend, and I wish him the best of luck with his marriage. I hope that one day we can talk like we used to. If not, I will always have that memory.
Alisha Howton, you are my best friend. Because of you and Matt my girls are able to go to pre-school. I always have someone to talk to, no matter what time it is. I never have to question whether we are really friends because I know we are. Pretty soon we will be having lunch play-dates and walking our babies through the mall and I can think of no one I would rather do that with than you.
Jen Fry, you were my first best friend. We have all kinds of weird jokes about fertile eggs and golf clubs and everyone may stare at us like morons when we discuss this, but we both know we are simply hilarious! If they don't they can get over it.
Lindsay House, you were the best friend that got me between the best friends. While we also have a million inside jokes about how "he look like a man" or the cheese factory, I know that if ten years pass by again without us talking, when we do, it will be just like you never moved away. Just for the record, it was bigger than my thumb.
Calvin, you are my brother. Some people say that family is what you are born with. I say family are the people that find you when you need them the most. They show up, eat your food, watch your kids, and never ask for more than that. Only we can make a Wal-Mart trip into an adventure and only you and Cory would teach my twins to scream "penis" over the aisles. I love you little bro.
Yes, y'all this list will be continued as my brain is beginning to hurt.
I guess I will start my list with the obvious. The following people were teachers from various points in my career. Perhaps you also had these teachers. Perhaps these teachers also shaped your life. Feel free to comment or message me if it is so. I want tons of comments on this blog!
Mrs. Noaker was my 6th grade teacher. She was the first person to ever tell me my real problem with school: I was bored. At parent teacher conferences she explained to my mom that the reason I made stupid mistakes (keep in mind at this point I was a straight A student) was that I was not being challenged enough. I tend to tone out when I am bored or just hurry through my work because it is too easy for me. Even now, I am still this way. I make stupid errors, even misspelling my child's name just to get the easy part out of the way. She decided to place me in journalism the following year. That was where I met my next teacher.
Mr. Free was my 7th and 8th grade journalism teacher. He was also the teacher I chose to come back and do my cadet teaching with. I think he had to be my favorite teacher basically because I was never bored. It wasn't a normal class. It had different, more adult expectations and he treated us as responsible teens without us having to earn it. Plus I still use his "no whining" slogan with my own children. I think the biggest impact he had on my life was telling me that I would make a great teacher. I may have never became a "teacher", but I am a mom of 5 kids that I shape, mold and teach daily. I hope I am fulfilling the expectations he had of me.
Mrs. Greene was my 11th grade Honors English teacher. She taught me how to love. See she didn't play favorites. Every student was her favorite. Every class was loved equally. At the end of every week we got a love letter from her. It was always unique just for that class. The more I think about it, the more I want to write each of my children a weekly love letter. Perhaps I will even set up an email account just for each one to send them pictures and emails about the weeks events in honor of one of my favorite teachers. I think the thing I loved most about her is something I will never do. she invited us all to her house and let us eat anywhere we wanted. She had white carpet. If only I were so brave.
Ms. Shoener was my data analysis and probability teacher. I want to clarify that she is on the list because not every experience in life is a good one. She gave me my first D. Had I earned that D I would have accepted it and moved on. However, we had a final project I had been working on for 3 weeks. We were all given a disk by her, to do our project on the school computers. The day before it was due, she had seen my project, looked it over, complimented it, and told me I could print it the next day as we were out of time. So the next morning while all of us were getting ready to print our projects I inserted my disk. The computer blew up....literally had smoke come out of it. It ate my disk leaving my 175 point final project inside a computer that couldn't be used. No credit. No partial credit. All my work in the class had been worthless as she refused to award me any points. I took my D and walked away stronger as I knew that I would not be a person that bases all my decisions on what can be seen that day.
Linda Roach was my pastor's wife. She was a strong woman that held a strong belief in prayer and in signs. Every time she asked for an answer God sent her a clear one. She had an amazing walk with God that I aspire to have.
Autumn was one of the foster children that Linda and her husband Mike took in. She was a 16 year old pregnant with twins and was a twin herself. She was the first person to tell me that it's ok to make mistakes as long as you walk away a better person. She intended on giving them up for adoption. She wasn't around long enough for me to discover if she did, but wherever she is, I know that she is making something of herself.
Billy Blanks invented Taebo. He is on my list simply because I love Taebo and it's the only workout that I have ever gotten immediate and lasting results with. I just got his insane abs and I intend on being in a goal outfit by Austin's first birthday with his help.
My ex-husband has taught me how much I will tolerate, how strong I can be, to make better choices, to stand on my own two feet, to be a better parent, how long I can go without food (while pregnant), how to hide bruises and tears, and most importantly when to walk away. I have 4 amazing children as a result of tolerating too much. That I will never regret. He failed to take away my ideals about love and family. He only temporarily robbed me of my self-esteem. I stand here today stronger, smarter, healthier, and better off because I was able to be pushed to my limits and escape.
Stephen King is my favorite writer. I aspire to have half the fan base he does.
Things Remembered, ah yes a store. You taught me how people will buy anything at any price if you spin them the right story. You taught me that a high mark-up and low wages will make a great profit. You also showed me pregnancy discrimination like I will never forget. Thanks for that.
LaCasa has taught me how to have a ghetto apartment and live. I have put up with trash in the halls, drunk men peeing in the elevator and now finally a rape on the backstair case. In other words, you have taught me when I need to move.
College has taught me that I hate college. I don't know how to study, but because I am talented at writing papers, not only can I pass a class, but I can walk away remembering none of it.
Chris Hempel, I don't think you read my blogs. If by some chance you read this I want let everyone know that you have a big role in the reason I am still alive. For those of you that don't know, Chris was my best friend. He encouraged me to walk away from my marriage. Once I did he was right there bringing me brownies and calling to check on me 5 or 6 times a day to know I was safe. After all of this I hurt him badly by being with someone else and yet he has forgiven me. I wish he was still my best friend, and I wish him the best of luck with his marriage. I hope that one day we can talk like we used to. If not, I will always have that memory.
Alisha Howton, you are my best friend. Because of you and Matt my girls are able to go to pre-school. I always have someone to talk to, no matter what time it is. I never have to question whether we are really friends because I know we are. Pretty soon we will be having lunch play-dates and walking our babies through the mall and I can think of no one I would rather do that with than you.
Jen Fry, you were my first best friend. We have all kinds of weird jokes about fertile eggs and golf clubs and everyone may stare at us like morons when we discuss this, but we both know we are simply hilarious! If they don't they can get over it.
Lindsay House, you were the best friend that got me between the best friends. While we also have a million inside jokes about how "he look like a man" or the cheese factory, I know that if ten years pass by again without us talking, when we do, it will be just like you never moved away. Just for the record, it was bigger than my thumb.
Calvin, you are my brother. Some people say that family is what you are born with. I say family are the people that find you when you need them the most. They show up, eat your food, watch your kids, and never ask for more than that. Only we can make a Wal-Mart trip into an adventure and only you and Cory would teach my twins to scream "penis" over the aisles. I love you little bro.
Yes, y'all this list will be continued as my brain is beginning to hurt.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Women: The Other Dumb Meat
I don't need to work. You see, I am going to become a trophy wife. I will start by working out 3 hours a day and keeping my house spotlessly clean all while wearing nothing but heels and a smile. Not only will I marry a rich man, but an old man as well. Of course, he will need ample Viagra to keep up with my endless sex drive. Then one fine day in the sac, he will die of natural causes leaving me his mansion and all his money. Then I can find a man I actually love to marry and live happily ever after with.
At this point, most of you man folks out there are thinking I am a greedy little whore. You would probably be right if this were me at all. I would NEVER marry for money. I will NEVER work out 3 times a day. Cleaning in heels may be reserve for special occasions with my broke husband and I to share. My house is NEVER spotless.
You see I have 5 kids. I won't marry a man without kids unless he isn't fertile. So I am looking at a lower middle class family by the time we feed/clothe/house our at least 6 children. I don't think that love is too out of the question for us. It's more a matter of God's timing and when.
I made the following comment under a friend's status after one of his relatives made a comment about him needing to grow up, provide for his girls, and get a job:
At this point, most of you man folks out there are thinking I am a greedy little whore. You would probably be right if this were me at all. I would NEVER marry for money. I will NEVER work out 3 times a day. Cleaning in heels may be reserve for special occasions with my broke husband and I to share. My house is NEVER spotless.
You see I have 5 kids. I won't marry a man without kids unless he isn't fertile. So I am looking at a lower middle class family by the time we feed/clothe/house our at least 6 children. I don't think that love is too out of the question for us. It's more a matter of God's timing and when.
I made the following comment under a friend's status after one of his relatives made a comment about him needing to grow up, provide for his girls, and get a job:
So not true! I see many boys grow up, not work and live off their baby mamas/girlfriends. They will never marry them (not just bc they can't afford a classy pawn shop ring) but bc when the money drys up there is always another naive single ...mom looking for a potential baby daddy. They can live in government housing/homeless shelters when there is no gf. Trust me, I have been watching my demonic 35 year old cousin I disowned run this game for years. This is why I only date older men with jobs now. It's pathetic when a boy thinks a single mom with five kids is going to take him out and buy. Heck no!!! Pull chairs, open doors, and I don't care if they don't spend a dime on me and we walk through a park all night, but learn respect. If you can't buy me a Big Mac, you sure as heck can't be a step-dad to my children. This is not a dig at you (friend's name was here)
You see I know what I want, but here are some truths. The longer anyone goes without a job, the easier it is to want to continue to not work. Women in this area are so desperate for someone to love them, someone to father their children, and just plain have someone to play house with, that they settle for anyone that comes along. These boys run this game well. They treat women like a piece of meat. They are there for their roof, and food, but mostly the sex. I see some very attractive men sucker these women into a guilt trip about their kids and make them lose their self-esteem to a point at which they feel they can't get a man with a job.
For some of these women, it is a fact. The way I see it, no man that is worth anything is going to want a woman that is barely worth anything herself. However, if she has kids, she becomes a meal and housing ticket. It's a free ride, both literally and figuratively. These women are not finding a male role model for their kids, but rather setting them up to be both hurt and disappointed.
Women: get a real man, with a real job, love him, treat him right, marry him, then move him in with you and your children. Don't teach your kids that relationships are disposable. Don't teach your daughter's it's ok to be used. See we are all just in a meat market. The men are the pigs and why put up with a whole pig for a little sausage. Men, I know you are looking at us the same way, but if you want this milk, you must pay. I am not free.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Insults (Cleverly Disguised As Compliments) and Other Stuff
Some of my friends have been around since I was 5, but a lot of my blog reading friends are newer. So today is a brief history lesson.
I grew up on CR 26. For those of you that are unaware, that's the road that runs behind the Goshen Meijer. We were what I would now consider upper-middle class. I was the only child. My dad was/is an engineer. (He has since moved with my step-mother to Lafayette) The mortgage was paid off and my dad made good money. No one would have ever guessed this however. Our furniture was old. My mom dressed like she was 80. (not living in the 80's like a little old lady) My dad drove an old ugly rusty blue Ford Taurus. (for those of you that saw me drive this to school I know you are laughing. We sold it my senior year for a whopping $200 cash money.) My mom's car was a wood-panel station wagon. I did have a million toys, and a pink and purple playhouse. We even painted the basketball hoop in our drive way pink and purple. (It was kinda an inside joke)
I had two cats. They lived outside and they had their own cathouse. My room had a bunch of Disney people riding bikes on ugly blue wallpaper. When I was 12 my parents got a divorce. Each bought a nice milk carton in a local trailer park. Before turning 12, I had only been to my uncle's trailer. It was so trashy that my grandma and I had had to go in with boots, gloves, and shovels to bag the trash inside. It was a complete embarrassment and I was terrified of the type of people that live in homes with wheels. (This was also the year I took up tennis. I think I always thought of tennis as a rich people's sport and it improved my thoughts about my living situation.)
I was pretty right on about the trash that lived in the trailers. It was my first in-person encounter with drugs, smoking, drinking and sex (On a personal note, to this day I have never smoked anything or done any drug.) Despite where I lived, I maintained decent grades, was a pretty decent person, and was pretty ok with myself. I was a size 4. I played two sports. I was on both newspaper and yearbook staff. I had some stupid boyfriends. (one of which I went on to marry) I didn't graduate with honors, which is weird cause I took every class with the word honors in the title. I was never popular, but I did enter two of the 4-H fair queen contests. I felt good. I looked good. I had a ton of potential.
Today's rant is about these following statements that have come about since high school. These are actually things real people have said to me. Below is both the statement and what I think it means. I gave you my background so you know why I feel these compliments are insults a bit better.
You look really good, for having five kids. = If you didn't have 5 kids I would find you a bit chubby.
You look nice today.= You look better than your normal self which is at the best average.
You manage well for five kids. = I would hate to be in your situation. I wonder why anyone would want to raise five kids alone.
Your kids are really cute.-surprised voice. (Sometimes say this even when kids aren't cute) = I didn't think someone like you could have cute kids.
I wouldn't have guessed you have five kids. = You look way too young to have that many kids so you must have started at 12.
Anyways....goodnight people I got distracted and forgot where I was going with this.
I grew up on CR 26. For those of you that are unaware, that's the road that runs behind the Goshen Meijer. We were what I would now consider upper-middle class. I was the only child. My dad was/is an engineer. (He has since moved with my step-mother to Lafayette) The mortgage was paid off and my dad made good money. No one would have ever guessed this however. Our furniture was old. My mom dressed like she was 80. (not living in the 80's like a little old lady) My dad drove an old ugly rusty blue Ford Taurus. (for those of you that saw me drive this to school I know you are laughing. We sold it my senior year for a whopping $200 cash money.) My mom's car was a wood-panel station wagon. I did have a million toys, and a pink and purple playhouse. We even painted the basketball hoop in our drive way pink and purple. (It was kinda an inside joke)
I had two cats. They lived outside and they had their own cathouse. My room had a bunch of Disney people riding bikes on ugly blue wallpaper. When I was 12 my parents got a divorce. Each bought a nice milk carton in a local trailer park. Before turning 12, I had only been to my uncle's trailer. It was so trashy that my grandma and I had had to go in with boots, gloves, and shovels to bag the trash inside. It was a complete embarrassment and I was terrified of the type of people that live in homes with wheels. (This was also the year I took up tennis. I think I always thought of tennis as a rich people's sport and it improved my thoughts about my living situation.)
I was pretty right on about the trash that lived in the trailers. It was my first in-person encounter with drugs, smoking, drinking and sex (On a personal note, to this day I have never smoked anything or done any drug.) Despite where I lived, I maintained decent grades, was a pretty decent person, and was pretty ok with myself. I was a size 4. I played two sports. I was on both newspaper and yearbook staff. I had some stupid boyfriends. (one of which I went on to marry) I didn't graduate with honors, which is weird cause I took every class with the word honors in the title. I was never popular, but I did enter two of the 4-H fair queen contests. I felt good. I looked good. I had a ton of potential.
Today's rant is about these following statements that have come about since high school. These are actually things real people have said to me. Below is both the statement and what I think it means. I gave you my background so you know why I feel these compliments are insults a bit better.
You look really good, for having five kids. = If you didn't have 5 kids I would find you a bit chubby.
You look nice today.= You look better than your normal self which is at the best average.
You manage well for five kids. = I would hate to be in your situation. I wonder why anyone would want to raise five kids alone.
Your kids are really cute.-surprised voice. (Sometimes say this even when kids aren't cute) = I didn't think someone like you could have cute kids.
I wouldn't have guessed you have five kids. = You look way too young to have that many kids so you must have started at 12.
Anyways....goodnight people I got distracted and forgot where I was going with this.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Let's get back to school....
So, please make fun of me all you want, but as of today I have purchased everything my kids need with only a couple exceptions for the entire next year. Still holding off on Kleenex, copy paper, and Elmer's glue in the 8oz bottles. I am seriously proud of all my shopping efforts. I found some amazing deals. I will be listing my accomplishments at the bottom of this page, but for now I am going to give my slight rant.
For the last two years I have been helping out with Back 2 School Elkhart. For those of you that don't know, it started out as an idea within my apartment building to help provide less fortunate children in Elkhart with backpacks, school supplies, food boxes, new outfits, shoes/socks, and any health exams or shots they made need. It turned into a program that served over 4,500 kids in our community last year. It is an all day event. I will be volunteering with the program again this year, and if you would like to help too, please message me.
There is only one problem with the program and it mainly is a lack of the right school supplies for the right grades. Part of the problem is donations. We can only give what is donated, if you would like to help with that part, again message me. However, we ended wasting a lot of what is donated. I don't mean it's a waste as it did go to the children that need it, but unfortunately, the kids (as in mine too) ended up with a lot they didn't need and even more missing that I had to go buy on my own and spend $63 on that we simply didn't have last year. I also didn't get the shoes that I had reserved because they gave them away and I had to literally borrow money for school shoes.
This year, we don't need the backpacks. I bought everything my kids need including one pair of shoes. I will continue to volunteer in anyway I can. I just feel like the kids should get what they need. Yes, it may be a pain to have kids come up with list and have all the supplies in bins to be given to only the kids that need it. Yes, we may run out. However, nothing would be wasted. All the kids that were able to get all they needed would have relieved parents. If we did run out we could have money in reserve and have a runner go buy more. I am just saying it makes more sense to me.
I have ran the volunteer room. I have served food. I have rode around on a golf cart at 30 weeks pregnant picking up chairs and tearing down tents. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty, but this year I want to help responsibly. Tomorrow I am helping move supplies around to get ready to move them to the new location. This project is like my baby. I personally have probably stuffed over a thousand backpacks and have talked to two thousand kids. I have seen the impact the project has on the neighborhood. I have hugged other volunteers. If you are struggling this year, I encourage you to come out. If you have extra to give, please give it wisely.
Below is my personal best list of places to buy back to school items. I have listed the item, where I bought it, and what I paid. Good luck mommys and daddys and happy shopping.
24 pk Crayola crayons, Kroger, .25
Scissors, Wal-mart, .76
index cards, Kroger, .15
15 pack glue sticks, Big Lots, 1.60
Pencil Box, Wal-mart, .46
Pencils, Big Lots, .15
Notebooks, Wal-mart, .20
Folders w/prongs, Wal-mart .15
Dry Erase Markers 4 pack, Dollar Tree, 1.00
Ziplock Bags Gal and quart size, Dollar Tree, 1.00
Back Packs, Big Lots, 7.00 (on a side note Wal-mart has some younger style ones for 5.00 however my experience last year with that brand says to avoid at all costs)
Markers, Wal-mart, .45
Clothing:
3 pack of girls socks at dollar tree was duh a dollar, they also have boys socks and long socks for fall/spring for girls
underwear, 3pk at Big Lots was just 2.00
All the children's clothing items were purchased at a combination of Goodwill, Faith Mission Store, Salvation Army, Resale Shops, Going out of Business sales, and garage sales. Everything I bought was name-brand, in style, and either like new or new. People assume I am both married and rich usually when we go out in the fall and winter. In the summer my kids tend to be less careful about the condition their attire gets into, although it all starts out nice.
For the last two years I have been helping out with Back 2 School Elkhart. For those of you that don't know, it started out as an idea within my apartment building to help provide less fortunate children in Elkhart with backpacks, school supplies, food boxes, new outfits, shoes/socks, and any health exams or shots they made need. It turned into a program that served over 4,500 kids in our community last year. It is an all day event. I will be volunteering with the program again this year, and if you would like to help too, please message me.
There is only one problem with the program and it mainly is a lack of the right school supplies for the right grades. Part of the problem is donations. We can only give what is donated, if you would like to help with that part, again message me. However, we ended wasting a lot of what is donated. I don't mean it's a waste as it did go to the children that need it, but unfortunately, the kids (as in mine too) ended up with a lot they didn't need and even more missing that I had to go buy on my own and spend $63 on that we simply didn't have last year. I also didn't get the shoes that I had reserved because they gave them away and I had to literally borrow money for school shoes.
This year, we don't need the backpacks. I bought everything my kids need including one pair of shoes. I will continue to volunteer in anyway I can. I just feel like the kids should get what they need. Yes, it may be a pain to have kids come up with list and have all the supplies in bins to be given to only the kids that need it. Yes, we may run out. However, nothing would be wasted. All the kids that were able to get all they needed would have relieved parents. If we did run out we could have money in reserve and have a runner go buy more. I am just saying it makes more sense to me.
I have ran the volunteer room. I have served food. I have rode around on a golf cart at 30 weeks pregnant picking up chairs and tearing down tents. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty, but this year I want to help responsibly. Tomorrow I am helping move supplies around to get ready to move them to the new location. This project is like my baby. I personally have probably stuffed over a thousand backpacks and have talked to two thousand kids. I have seen the impact the project has on the neighborhood. I have hugged other volunteers. If you are struggling this year, I encourage you to come out. If you have extra to give, please give it wisely.
Below is my personal best list of places to buy back to school items. I have listed the item, where I bought it, and what I paid. Good luck mommys and daddys and happy shopping.
24 pk Crayola crayons, Kroger, .25
Scissors, Wal-mart, .76
index cards, Kroger, .15
15 pack glue sticks, Big Lots, 1.60
Pencil Box, Wal-mart, .46
Pencils, Big Lots, .15
Notebooks, Wal-mart, .20
Folders w/prongs, Wal-mart .15
Dry Erase Markers 4 pack, Dollar Tree, 1.00
Ziplock Bags Gal and quart size, Dollar Tree, 1.00
Back Packs, Big Lots, 7.00 (on a side note Wal-mart has some younger style ones for 5.00 however my experience last year with that brand says to avoid at all costs)
Markers, Wal-mart, .45
Clothing:
3 pack of girls socks at dollar tree was duh a dollar, they also have boys socks and long socks for fall/spring for girls
underwear, 3pk at Big Lots was just 2.00
All the children's clothing items were purchased at a combination of Goodwill, Faith Mission Store, Salvation Army, Resale Shops, Going out of Business sales, and garage sales. Everything I bought was name-brand, in style, and either like new or new. People assume I am both married and rich usually when we go out in the fall and winter. In the summer my kids tend to be less careful about the condition their attire gets into, although it all starts out nice.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Get The Picture, Then Hang These Words On Your Wall
Welcome to my true story of the day rant. I run into baby daddy at what he referred to as "his Wal-Mart" and we decided (mutually) to venture to IHOP and get some breakfast with our little man. That part is not the rant, I am coming there. I get a text message that says simply, "Hi!". I send one back, "Good morning. What are you doing?" In return I get a message to the extent of I'm bored send me a pic. So I send him a lovely picture of me and my youngest daughter I took the day before. In return I get two responses.
For those of you that tune in often to my blog, you are well aware that men often send me pictures that they wouldn't send their grandma. I got one of those this morning. Baby daddy knew immediately by the look on my face what I got a pic of as I only seem to get them when he is around. (Better timing is requested guys. (Only because I need more to write about though)) Mid baby daddy lecture about stopping conversations with men that send me such things I got the second text. It read, "You look really hot, but it would have been better without your daughter." That my friends will make me stop talking to you. Forever.
You see my kids are in my picture. They are in my present. They are in my future. This also means that all future pictures include all 5 of my children.
![]()
In this picture we have Skye (4), Manda (5), Austin (8 months), Sydney (5), and Christopher (7)
You should be so lucky as to be allowed to know my kids. My kids are not only cute, but they are smart, funny, creative, loving, and kind. My kids are the first thing I would want to see every morning and kiss goodnight. Choosing between having a man or having my kids, I will always choose my kids.
Often men will tell me I am lucky they are even taking me out because of my kids. they make me feel like rather than my greatest asset, my kids are my greatest downfall. Yes, they are a responsibility. They are a responsibility that one person is not only capable of handling, but is handling very well. They are well fed. They are healthy. They have 3 swimsuits each, 17 outfits each, 7 pairs of jammys each too many shoes to fit on a rack and tons of toys. I didn't borrow money for any of it. Yes, I do get food stamps. I work. I am not ashamed that I have to be able to feed my children and $63 dollars a week in child support won't even buy one of them all their school supplies, let alone food.
You see men, you mention my kids in anyway less than flattering and this single mom will not be taking you on a single date. I will not be removing my kids from any pictures. If you are lucky enough to be in any picture with my amazing kids take it as a blessing. If you are so lucky that you get to be considered for the job of step-father, take it. You see my greatest joy is knowing that my 5 kids can make a difference in this world. Part of the joy in this is knowing that I am responsible for instilling their morals and values and helping them establish a life path. How many guys out there can actually say they have the power to help change the world? Marry me and you get to do that.
I am not desperate. I am picky. I have a list, but remember so do my kids. My Sydney prays every night for a new daddy, because she hates the one she has. She doesn't know I hear her, but I do. So does God. Sydney, one day you will be old enough to read this and I just want you to know, one day some man will be lucky enough to be a part of your life. You may never get the dad you pray for, but I am praying too. I am praying that one day you will marry a good man and he will be the father to your kids that you may or may not get.
In conclusion, if you want me (even in a picture) expect my kids. Unlike a married family with kids from both people together, my kids go away every other weekend so you would be blessed with some alone time with me. I know it's a commitment. I take it seriously. Please do the same.
For those of you that tune in often to my blog, you are well aware that men often send me pictures that they wouldn't send their grandma. I got one of those this morning. Baby daddy knew immediately by the look on my face what I got a pic of as I only seem to get them when he is around. (Better timing is requested guys. (Only because I need more to write about though)) Mid baby daddy lecture about stopping conversations with men that send me such things I got the second text. It read, "You look really hot, but it would have been better without your daughter." That my friends will make me stop talking to you. Forever.
You see my kids are in my picture. They are in my present. They are in my future. This also means that all future pictures include all 5 of my children.
You should be so lucky as to be allowed to know my kids. My kids are not only cute, but they are smart, funny, creative, loving, and kind. My kids are the first thing I would want to see every morning and kiss goodnight. Choosing between having a man or having my kids, I will always choose my kids.
Often men will tell me I am lucky they are even taking me out because of my kids. they make me feel like rather than my greatest asset, my kids are my greatest downfall. Yes, they are a responsibility. They are a responsibility that one person is not only capable of handling, but is handling very well. They are well fed. They are healthy. They have 3 swimsuits each, 17 outfits each, 7 pairs of jammys each too many shoes to fit on a rack and tons of toys. I didn't borrow money for any of it. Yes, I do get food stamps. I work. I am not ashamed that I have to be able to feed my children and $63 dollars a week in child support won't even buy one of them all their school supplies, let alone food.
You see men, you mention my kids in anyway less than flattering and this single mom will not be taking you on a single date. I will not be removing my kids from any pictures. If you are lucky enough to be in any picture with my amazing kids take it as a blessing. If you are so lucky that you get to be considered for the job of step-father, take it. You see my greatest joy is knowing that my 5 kids can make a difference in this world. Part of the joy in this is knowing that I am responsible for instilling their morals and values and helping them establish a life path. How many guys out there can actually say they have the power to help change the world? Marry me and you get to do that.
I am not desperate. I am picky. I have a list, but remember so do my kids. My Sydney prays every night for a new daddy, because she hates the one she has. She doesn't know I hear her, but I do. So does God. Sydney, one day you will be old enough to read this and I just want you to know, one day some man will be lucky enough to be a part of your life. You may never get the dad you pray for, but I am praying too. I am praying that one day you will marry a good man and he will be the father to your kids that you may or may not get.
In conclusion, if you want me (even in a picture) expect my kids. Unlike a married family with kids from both people together, my kids go away every other weekend so you would be blessed with some alone time with me. I know it's a commitment. I take it seriously. Please do the same.
Friday, July 15, 2011
I'm Bored, Let's Have Sex!!!
I just knew you would click this one. You see, whenever a woman says, "sex", men come running to see if she is willing and ready to do so with him.
This is really a 2 part blog combined into one. Lately, I have been personally dealing with questions about my relationships (both past and present) with men. I have some truly amazing men in my life at this moment, unfortunately I don't think that any of them are ready to be a portion of the lives of 5 kids. (This is not a pity-party style blog. I am not hear to evoke pity, or to hear how sorry you all are that maybe I am not going to find a husband anytime soon if ever! I am an extraordinary person, loving, caring, considerate, hard-working and a great mom. If those are the only things I get to be for the rest of my life, I will rejoice in that.)
Part 1 of this blog goes something like this, I wanted to know why I haven't really connected with anyone this year. (This is the part of the blog inspired by the amazing blog of Gavin Fisher. See told you I was dedicating a blog to you.)
So here is the deal, finding a guy is like going to the meat market. We all have those things we are looking for. Thing one (for me anyways) is the right amount of fat. I personally like my meat with a bit of flavor so a piece of beef that is too lean is out of the question. Likewise, I am not trying to clog an artery, so a giant fatty piece of meat won't work either. (Yes, lots of parenthesis in this blog, and yes, I am eluding to what I am looking for when picking out a man. Maybe it's rude to say no fatties, but this woman knows what she wants!) I am also looking for a steak of highest quality. I am not going out with money to buy a steak and returning with a hamburger. I want my steak to come from a good home with lots of free time for the cow to roam. I want the cow to know I especially selected to eat this cow and not any other cows for a reason. I had a special connection to that cow in that place and time.
A lot of guys I have been talking to (cough, cough you know who you are) having been telling me this lie that the girl has to have a pretty face. While this may be true, (no butter faces) I know that no man is going to bother to look at the face of a woman that doesn't meet his personal standard of fatness. Every guy has one. I just discussed this very thing with my brother. He was told to pick out two women, one pushing thick (ie for those of you that don't know thick is still "effable" like not too fat to hit after a few beers) and the other woman had to be pushing fat. Blah, blah, blah, medical conditions could have made these girls fat and it's not very nice to say. I am NOT being nice, but I will be HONEST. He found both these women in a short matter of time. If the one girl gained even 5lbs he would no longer touch her. It's rude and degrading, but at least it gave me a goal.
I don't want to ever be excluded based on the fact that I am too fat. So, I started running. I had to walk past a public pool with my kids to get to the local track to "run". (I tried to run, but my pants kept falling down. True story.) It was so hot and all my kids kept saying was that they would rather swim, until we saw him. There with his feet in the kiddie pool was a monster of a man. Not only could I count his rolls, but I could also see his crack. At this point, knowing my kids, I knew that they were also thinking, "I get why mommy wants to run." So we went around and around on that track.
In the fair scheme of things, yes, we all look at faces too. I like blue or green eyes. I hate noses that are too big, teeth that are obviously missing and/or gold, and unibrows. Men if I must wax my eyebrows for you, please do some maintence on yours, just saying. I like brown hair. I have dated a grand total of 2 blondes and really have never been that attracted to red heads. It's a personal preference and to each their own.
So now on to part 2. There is nothing to do around here but go to a bar or have sex. Maybe even some might first go to a bar then have sex. Those truly daring may even have bar sex. Let's face it. We are in our 20's. There are about 4 forms of entertainment in Elkhart. Bars, roller rinks, movies and bowling alleys get old. No straight man wants to go shopping. It's not just a problem at our age.
We wonder why so many teens are getting pregnant. They have nothing better to do. Mommy and daddy now must both work to support a family, or if it's a single parent household, often one parent works two jobs. This leave the house open and free for our kids to have sex simply because, "There is nothing on tv."
Let's just say for one minute that the same 4 things didn't get old. Those 4 things get expensive quickly. 8 dollars a person just to skate for a couple hours, means that for my family of 6, we would spend $48 on one night of entertainment. (Good thing we have bread and geese around here.) Movies and snacks are even more....etc...ect...down the line.
This also means since we are all broke we are inviting the temptation of staying home and getting a redbox into our lives. While cheap entertainment is good, it is also inviting the temptation of sex into our living rooms. The movie sucks, so you start making out and the next thing you know, you are in bad next to each other wondering why you got so bored.
On a very direct note, this is not me. I am writing this in response to discovering yet another teen in my children's family was pregnant. Sex belongs inside a ltr preferably marriage. I would never do anything to compromise the mental/emotional health of my children and that means THIS MOM is making good decisions for herself.
Then, 9 months later you have a child and you are NEVER bored again. One day, even though you had every intention of moving to a big city, your child will still be living here with you in the boring city and will also being having the same stupid sex you had out of boredom and fake love.
We need to change this now. I want my children to be active. I want them to volunteer. I want them to have more to do than be broke, live in a boring city and have sex. I want them to find a steak and take it to a new and exciting place to live where they can have all the sex they want in their marriage.
So now you have two thoughts. I am obsessed with boring sex, and I want a steak. If I could have both, life would be perfect.
This is really a 2 part blog combined into one. Lately, I have been personally dealing with questions about my relationships (both past and present) with men. I have some truly amazing men in my life at this moment, unfortunately I don't think that any of them are ready to be a portion of the lives of 5 kids. (This is not a pity-party style blog. I am not hear to evoke pity, or to hear how sorry you all are that maybe I am not going to find a husband anytime soon if ever! I am an extraordinary person, loving, caring, considerate, hard-working and a great mom. If those are the only things I get to be for the rest of my life, I will rejoice in that.)
Part 1 of this blog goes something like this, I wanted to know why I haven't really connected with anyone this year. (This is the part of the blog inspired by the amazing blog of Gavin Fisher. See told you I was dedicating a blog to you.)
So here is the deal, finding a guy is like going to the meat market. We all have those things we are looking for. Thing one (for me anyways) is the right amount of fat. I personally like my meat with a bit of flavor so a piece of beef that is too lean is out of the question. Likewise, I am not trying to clog an artery, so a giant fatty piece of meat won't work either. (Yes, lots of parenthesis in this blog, and yes, I am eluding to what I am looking for when picking out a man. Maybe it's rude to say no fatties, but this woman knows what she wants!) I am also looking for a steak of highest quality. I am not going out with money to buy a steak and returning with a hamburger. I want my steak to come from a good home with lots of free time for the cow to roam. I want the cow to know I especially selected to eat this cow and not any other cows for a reason. I had a special connection to that cow in that place and time.
A lot of guys I have been talking to (cough, cough you know who you are) having been telling me this lie that the girl has to have a pretty face. While this may be true, (no butter faces) I know that no man is going to bother to look at the face of a woman that doesn't meet his personal standard of fatness. Every guy has one. I just discussed this very thing with my brother. He was told to pick out two women, one pushing thick (ie for those of you that don't know thick is still "effable" like not too fat to hit after a few beers) and the other woman had to be pushing fat. Blah, blah, blah, medical conditions could have made these girls fat and it's not very nice to say. I am NOT being nice, but I will be HONEST. He found both these women in a short matter of time. If the one girl gained even 5lbs he would no longer touch her. It's rude and degrading, but at least it gave me a goal.
I don't want to ever be excluded based on the fact that I am too fat. So, I started running. I had to walk past a public pool with my kids to get to the local track to "run". (I tried to run, but my pants kept falling down. True story.) It was so hot and all my kids kept saying was that they would rather swim, until we saw him. There with his feet in the kiddie pool was a monster of a man. Not only could I count his rolls, but I could also see his crack. At this point, knowing my kids, I knew that they were also thinking, "I get why mommy wants to run." So we went around and around on that track.
In the fair scheme of things, yes, we all look at faces too. I like blue or green eyes. I hate noses that are too big, teeth that are obviously missing and/or gold, and unibrows. Men if I must wax my eyebrows for you, please do some maintence on yours, just saying. I like brown hair. I have dated a grand total of 2 blondes and really have never been that attracted to red heads. It's a personal preference and to each their own.
So now on to part 2. There is nothing to do around here but go to a bar or have sex. Maybe even some might first go to a bar then have sex. Those truly daring may even have bar sex. Let's face it. We are in our 20's. There are about 4 forms of entertainment in Elkhart. Bars, roller rinks, movies and bowling alleys get old. No straight man wants to go shopping. It's not just a problem at our age.
We wonder why so many teens are getting pregnant. They have nothing better to do. Mommy and daddy now must both work to support a family, or if it's a single parent household, often one parent works two jobs. This leave the house open and free for our kids to have sex simply because, "There is nothing on tv."
Let's just say for one minute that the same 4 things didn't get old. Those 4 things get expensive quickly. 8 dollars a person just to skate for a couple hours, means that for my family of 6, we would spend $48 on one night of entertainment. (Good thing we have bread and geese around here.) Movies and snacks are even more....etc...ect...down the line.
This also means since we are all broke we are inviting the temptation of staying home and getting a redbox into our lives. While cheap entertainment is good, it is also inviting the temptation of sex into our living rooms. The movie sucks, so you start making out and the next thing you know, you are in bad next to each other wondering why you got so bored.
On a very direct note, this is not me. I am writing this in response to discovering yet another teen in my children's family was pregnant. Sex belongs inside a ltr preferably marriage. I would never do anything to compromise the mental/emotional health of my children and that means THIS MOM is making good decisions for herself.
Then, 9 months later you have a child and you are NEVER bored again. One day, even though you had every intention of moving to a big city, your child will still be living here with you in the boring city and will also being having the same stupid sex you had out of boredom and fake love.
We need to change this now. I want my children to be active. I want them to volunteer. I want them to have more to do than be broke, live in a boring city and have sex. I want them to find a steak and take it to a new and exciting place to live where they can have all the sex they want in their marriage.
So now you have two thoughts. I am obsessed with boring sex, and I want a steak. If I could have both, life would be perfect.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Things That Bother Me
Many of you that know me well would say that I am very opinionated. That is a bit of an understatement. I am honest and blunt. During the course of this summer many issues have come out to play. These are some of my hard-hitting rants that I think everyone will agree with, but you are all afraid to say.
We are losing our language. It is no longer an interagural part of our education. I personally believe that hand-writing will no longer be taught by the time my children graduate from high school. They are already eliminating cursive hand-writing. Besides, in a matter of years the schools will begin to realize the "text book" is also a waste. All reading materials will be read on a electronic book device. Obviously is is a much wiser investment as many are only around $100.00 now. Then it's usually around $3.00 to buy/download a book. My second grader's book rental is $162.00. Do your own math. Draw your own conclusions.
Besides just the writing portion of this, our language itself is becoming very informal. We now now use lol over a text message instead of allowing people to hear us on the phone. Every transaction is informal and if we were all smart we would realize many of the service jobs will soon be eliminated. Thus computer technichians are going to be in high demand and an education past high school will be a requirement.
We also will no longer have to think for ourselves. We have people to do that for us. If I have a question, I google it, and then I accept the answer as the truth. I believe whatever crapola I find on the internet to be very true. Not to mention that the internet porn industry shall inherit the earth. We are so corrupt now that it is one of the fastest growing and most profitable forms of computer entertainment. not to mention I can buy any accessorie for any web-based gaming on ebay. Why would I actually want the satisfaction of having a level 80 charecter when I can just buy one? People actually making a living at selling virtual items.
The next thing that has been eating at me is flavored milk. White milk is not an option at school usually. It's a chocolate milk place. Flavored milk adds instant calories and an unnescessary desire for sweets. If white milk was the only choice I promise you, kids would drink it. I also think water should be a considered option. Most children are not drinking enough water. Not every child can drink milk, I know I still can't drink milk without getting sick.
Our kids are also obese. It's never the skinny parents with the morribly obese child, it's always the fat parents. Fat parents lead by example. When I see a 4 year old with boobies and fat rolls I know that the parent is being neglectful. They not only are not limiting their child's food intake, but they are not encouraging their activeness either. A parent is a child's first teacher, teach by example!
While I am on parenting, please don't allow your child to openly cuss. It's not only disrespectful, but it only makes you look ignorant. I know my children have cussed previously, but it is not coming from my household and the situation is always taken care of.
Futhermore, don't dress your child in rags while you are walking around with name brand swag. True story, there are 3 little boys in my neighborhood that wear flannel long sleeve pajamas in 90 degree weather all summer. Thus, I assumed the family was poor. Then I saw their mother. Her nails alone must have cost $45.00. She was in all name brand clothing, hair done, and carrying a designer purse. I wanted to smack her. My kids have never gone without.
Finally, don't ask someone on a date assuming they are there for the purpose of giving you sex. You know you don't want kids, so please don't ask a single mom out. See most of us are looking for soemone we could fall in love with. I will not love you if you are not going to love my kids. Don't waste my time or yours. Be a friend. This single mom is not putting out anytime soon.
We are losing our language. It is no longer an interagural part of our education. I personally believe that hand-writing will no longer be taught by the time my children graduate from high school. They are already eliminating cursive hand-writing. Besides, in a matter of years the schools will begin to realize the "text book" is also a waste. All reading materials will be read on a electronic book device. Obviously is is a much wiser investment as many are only around $100.00 now. Then it's usually around $3.00 to buy/download a book. My second grader's book rental is $162.00. Do your own math. Draw your own conclusions.
Besides just the writing portion of this, our language itself is becoming very informal. We now now use lol over a text message instead of allowing people to hear us on the phone. Every transaction is informal and if we were all smart we would realize many of the service jobs will soon be eliminated. Thus computer technichians are going to be in high demand and an education past high school will be a requirement.
We also will no longer have to think for ourselves. We have people to do that for us. If I have a question, I google it, and then I accept the answer as the truth. I believe whatever crapola I find on the internet to be very true. Not to mention that the internet porn industry shall inherit the earth. We are so corrupt now that it is one of the fastest growing and most profitable forms of computer entertainment. not to mention I can buy any accessorie for any web-based gaming on ebay. Why would I actually want the satisfaction of having a level 80 charecter when I can just buy one? People actually making a living at selling virtual items.
The next thing that has been eating at me is flavored milk. White milk is not an option at school usually. It's a chocolate milk place. Flavored milk adds instant calories and an unnescessary desire for sweets. If white milk was the only choice I promise you, kids would drink it. I also think water should be a considered option. Most children are not drinking enough water. Not every child can drink milk, I know I still can't drink milk without getting sick.
Our kids are also obese. It's never the skinny parents with the morribly obese child, it's always the fat parents. Fat parents lead by example. When I see a 4 year old with boobies and fat rolls I know that the parent is being neglectful. They not only are not limiting their child's food intake, but they are not encouraging their activeness either. A parent is a child's first teacher, teach by example!
While I am on parenting, please don't allow your child to openly cuss. It's not only disrespectful, but it only makes you look ignorant. I know my children have cussed previously, but it is not coming from my household and the situation is always taken care of.
Futhermore, don't dress your child in rags while you are walking around with name brand swag. True story, there are 3 little boys in my neighborhood that wear flannel long sleeve pajamas in 90 degree weather all summer. Thus, I assumed the family was poor. Then I saw their mother. Her nails alone must have cost $45.00. She was in all name brand clothing, hair done, and carrying a designer purse. I wanted to smack her. My kids have never gone without.
Finally, don't ask someone on a date assuming they are there for the purpose of giving you sex. You know you don't want kids, so please don't ask a single mom out. See most of us are looking for soemone we could fall in love with. I will not love you if you are not going to love my kids. Don't waste my time or yours. Be a friend. This single mom is not putting out anytime soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)