I NEED 7 HUSBANDS

This is the blog that my good friend Margarita Barnard wanted me to write, so hunny bunny this is for you!!!

At one time I was given two pieces of advice from men in my life. The first came from my grandpa. He said, "Never sleep with anyone you don't want to marry, or couldn't see your future with." The second piece came from my dad who said, "Grab the good things in life as they come by quickly and don't let go." I would love to say I have never neglected either, but I would be lying. I made some mistakes when it came to the men in my life. This last time, I took both pieces very seriously, I fell in love, got engaged quickly, got pregnant, but he choose to step away. The advice they didn't give me was that some things that you want the most, no matter how much you want them, are beyond your control. That's the advice I am leaving to the ones I love most.

At age 23, I left my husband with my 4 oldest kids and I made something I saw on Oprah (try not to laugh here). It was called a vision board. On my board I put exactly what I wanted. A place of my own with a dishwasher, a trip to Hawaii, a specific engagement ring, to graduate college, a baby boy, a man I love as my husband ( I still have no clue what he looks like so I just chose some hot underwear model guy), a backyard with a fence, a nice car, and this one really pretty bedroom set. As some of you know I have a place with a dishwasher, I got that engagement ring (still have it but not for the purpose of getting married), I have my baby boy, and I am currently close to finishing college. The other things can come in time. I took the man I want to be my husband and I broke him into 49 qualities which is in itself another blog. Shortly after doing this, I came to a conclusion that perhaps one man could not contain all these things, thus I needed 7 husbands.

Here is the general break down:
1. The chef
2. The gardener/cabana boy
3. The intellect
4. The arm candy
5. The handy man
6. The sex slave
7. The income maker

I think they are pretty self explanatory. Each preforms their chosen duty and does it well and it return I am an awesome wife. (Crossing my fingers here) My feelings on polygamy are fairly simple. I am jealous. I don't want to share. I am an only child, so I have never had to share. You don't fish in another man's well or you will catch crabs. The same applies to women. True love exists between and man and a woman...not a man and 8 women or a woman and 7 men. Notice I say man and woman, so can you guess my next opinion.

I don't believe in gay marriage. It's in the Bible that it is wrong. If a couple cannot procreate on their own, they should not be married. That's right, no gaybies (gay adoptions or surrogates for gays) I believe in love and I believe in the right to make your own eternal choices. I have gay friends, should they marry?, no. Are they going to do what they want no matter my opinions? Of course, but that doesn't change my opinions. I also hate abortion. There is no pro-choice with me either. It's pro-abortion/murder or pro-life. My household is pro-life/adoption just not by gays.

I believe that love is a choice. I have said this before. If love were simply a feeling (and this applies to being in love as well), then there should not be any marriages because feeling evolve. They fade. Attraction fades. What's left? It's a choice to stand by someone when things aren't great. It's working on thing to make them better. It's getting counseling before you need it. It's holding hands. It's saying I love you in the middle of a fight. It's never saying divorce and using it in any type of argument like it's a weapon. When you love someone you know. It's not always going to be easy, but it's always going to be real. It's holding your wife while she cries thinking that she's losing your baby. It's holding her hair while she pukes out the side of your truck. It's the night you stay up writing a proposal letter and presenting her with a ring after working all night. That love doesn't fade over one fight or 20. You made a choice to let it go for the easier way in life. LOVE MY FRIENDS IS A CHOICE!!!

As for this whole Will and Kate non-sense, I hate it. It's not that I hate love. I am not bitter. I am not skeptical. I am not crazy jealous. I just know that money shouldn't be used on a huge party when people are dying from preventable disease and hunger. I know that I could buy a decent car for the price of certain wedding gowns. I know that if someone wants to marry me, they should buy a pawn shop ring, take my butt to the courthouse and just do it. I don't want to ever be engaged again. I am burnt on engagements in general. Besides, when you get engaged everyone asks about the ring. I want a small princess solitaire from a pawn shop in white gold. (ATTENTION FRIENDS IF A POTENTIAL HUSBAND EVER COMES TO YOU THIS IS WHAT I WANT) lol I don't want to waste time or money. When it's right, it's right.

As for cheating, there is no cheating to make you happy. You see the problem is not with your significant other, it's with you. Change how you are acting to get a different reaction (unless this person is abusive or clinically psycho). People with children together should put as much effort into their marriage or relationship which should be a marriage as possible before letting it die on the floor. Kids deserve both parents on a daily basis. Conduct your fighting behind closed doors without raising your voice. Work through things. Go out together. Don't cheat. Buy gifts on random Tuesdays. Make it work! It is easier than you think. But I just don't love him/er anymore, but you idiot love is a CHOICE!!! Go the extra mile. It's not as far as you think.

To summarize this whole thing, love the one you have sex with enough to marry them before you have sex with them (again). Don't allow abortion or gay marriage. Don't fish in another wo/man's well. Marry one person that you can procreate with and do it often :) Choose love. Let go of the unimportant to make time for what is. You get what you give, so change yourself and watch the change around you. Oh and dear future husband (that I may or may not know yet) I love you, but I am getting so sick of waiting, so would you hurry up and find me. Thanks.