This may not be quite what you were expecting. The following is a brutality honest letter to my kids, however I think it applies well to my adult readers and friends also.
Dear Christopher, Manda, Sydney, Skye, and Austin,
You are the reason I am who I am right now. You made me grow up, you gave me a purpose greater than my own selfish needs and wants, and you have brought more joy into my life than you will ever know. I am about to let you in on a secret that few parents are willing to say out loud.
I wish that each of you had been born with a remote control. You are probably assuming that I want a mute button, but you would be wrong. If I shut you up I would never get to hear how much you love me, hear your silly stories, or know what I can do to make you smile. Rather, its the other buttons on the remote I would like to use, and the reasons may surprise you.
I want to start with the power button. I would like you to be able to turn off at night and get a good nights sleep without having to worry that you will wake up scared from a bad dream. It would insure that you would stay in your bed and not wander off only to stub your toe in the dark. You wouldn't wet the bad and wake up smelling of pee with some weird rash down your leg either.
Then, there is the pause button. I would pause the moments that I want to remember the most. The first time I saw you, held you, kissed your little nose, and told you I loved you, when you took your first steps, said your first word, rode a bike, got on the big yellow bus, drove a car, and graduated high school would last just a little longer. While the memories of these things will never be forgotten, they happened all to quickly. It's like I blink and you don't want to hold mommy's hand anymore. My kisses embarrass you. I can't wear my pajamas to drop you off at school. I could also pause the moments you want to remember. When you met your first best friend, the first A you got on a test, your first kiss, your first date with your future spouse, your wedding, and when that day comes where you have your first child of your own could be a little sweeter and flow a bit more slowly.
There is also the fast-forward button. I know I complain when you get sick, but really I enjoy holding each of you in my arms, even when you are crying, puking, or battling a high fever. What kills me, is watching you endure the pain. If I could take that pain away, I would. I would also fast forward deaths of your pets, your first break-up, all our fights, and basically anything that makes you cry. I know that sometimes it takes the bad times so that we may appreciate the good ones, but I think you deserve the good ones more.
The rewind button would be used so I could keep you little longer. I would spend more time saying I love you and less time focused on what may happen. I would teach you that all that matters in this entire world comes down to love and happiness. By love, I don't just mean romantic love. Yes, romance is a great part of a life, but there is so much more to life than the opposite sex. I am talking about loving your best friends, your family, your neighbors, and yes, even your enemies. I believe love conquers all. If you really think you hate someone, try to love them. It works, unless they hate you for the reason of jealousy. Never change the good within you to make someone else like you. As for the happiness, the more love you give, the more you get. Love will make you happy for the most part, but it can also break your heart. Remember that love and happiness are always both a choice and a reaction. Even in death, there are reasons for both.
Main menu buttons are good to change the scenery, add new channels, and pursue new languages. These are all things I want you to do. Don't stay in Elkhart! I repeat, don't stay here! I love you dearly. I want you close, but I want you to see what else is out there. I sacrificed the life I could have had for romantic love that I lost. I wanted to explore. I wanted to move away. I wanted to see the world as a whole and no what it could truly offer me. So go. Leave and explore. Search what's out there and find yourself in the world. Make a new path. Go where you are happiest. There will be times to come back to the familiar and you will know when those are. You will always be welcomed back.
Lastly, there are the buttons used to change channels. When one channel isn't working for you, choose another. One is bound to have the program you are looking for. Don't watch what all your friends are watching. Find what you want to watch and change to that instead. Make sure it's not all comedy, make sure it's little drama, and make sure that it's a little scary. Life is meant to be a little dramatic and scary at times, but make sure that it's never too scary or too dramatic.
In conclusion kids you don't come with remotes. I can't give you the best of your life, you have to get it. I can't fast-forward the parts you don't like, you have to get through it. I can't make you change, slow down, speed up, or tell you when to let it all go...you and you alone have to do those things. I will be there to show you the buttons and I can help you realize when you might want to use them, but ultimately you are the controller of your own life.
Love always,
Mommy
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