I know this guy. Let's call him Joe. ( I am calling him Joe cuz that's his name and I know that this boy will not be taking the time to read my blog.) Joe and I met when I was trying to walk off my fat on the track outside my apartment. He proceeded to give me his life story. Details included his pursuit of a GED and a job at Taco Bell. Ya, this guy is a total package let me tell you. He is 18, and at age 27 his attempts to hit on me were both denied and humorous.
Today I ran into Joe again while I was grilling food. He was in a swimsuit and tennis shoes so of course I made the reasonable deduction that he was going to the neighborhood pool. The pool is nice, but it cost $2.00 to go. So when Joe volunteered the facts that he was in fact going to the pool and the fact that he had no money of course my brain ran to the logical conclusion that this venture would not be a possibility. That was until he explained that he was a relationship whore. (I had deducted this in former conversations as well.)
You see he would be going to the pool where he would meet some random girl. Then he will flirt with this random girl outside the pool until she took pity on him or found him adorable and paid his way into the pool. At this point he would spend his pool time with the female, make her his girlfriend, and go back to her place for sex. So technically this unsuspecting girl is not only paying for his company, but paying to get laid. It's a master plan. When I inquired as to why he doesn't just get a fb, he further explained that fbs are all hoes and he would likely catch something.
This brings me to today's rant. How you meet someone will determine the entire course of the rest of the friendship/relationship. I meet people all the time. Sometimes we meet on facebook, but mostly we meet in real life. Any man that I meet will not be receiving a dime of my money. Ya, that's right. If you are so pitiful that our first chance meeting includes me doing you any type of prop, I will know you are a user and it will be our last encounter.
Also, boys, if our first texting experience includes you trying to interest me in pictures of your anatomy, you will not be a future part of my contacts list. Is this something you would expect me to have to say? Do guys really just send pictures like that to anyone? Why, yes girls. Guys, and I can say with almost complete confidence guys with camera phones, will end up sending me lude photos of themselves. I have gotten them from 5 different guys just this month. I have not asked for any of these pictures. I don't even text anything dirty and yet poof, they appear. I find this slightly amusing. I often wonder if men believe that if we see it, we will have to have it. Quite honestly, it's not working. Just ask the guys that sent me the pictures. If you would like a list of names just send your inquiry to........just kidding people!
Also guys of America, if a girl is wearing something completely slutty during your first encounter, and you are not a beach, chances are she is either conceited or a whore. Take your pick. Neither is a good option. Taking this one step further, if she informs you she is taken/married/engaged/involved with another man, but she hooks up with you, she will cheat on you as well. You'll end up in court on some lovely day with a baby that may or may not be yours that you could end up spending the rest of your life supporting. If she has 3 or more baby daddies currently, RUN!!!! This same piece of advice should be flopped around and used for girls also.
Girls that are considering dumping their current mate for another man, here is a newsflash for you. If he was willing to steal you away from another man, what kind of man is he? He sounds like a complete model citizen to me. Due note my sarcasm. If he isn't calling you or texting you, he just isn't that into you.
If the first time you meet someone they are drunk, is it really a good meeting? The fact that they are drunk speaks highly of their character. It gives you a sense that they are trying to escape from something. In my experience, anyone that has something to escape from will not make a good friend. They will drag their drama coated baggage into your life and make you miserable. A true desired relationship/friendship should be with someone that has nothing to run from. Make friends with people that have it together. I know this is difficult in a town like ours where the only entertainment comes from a bar or bowling alley, but try to put it into some perspective. You become who you surround yourself with. Dramatic drunks will become you. Then you also will have something to escape from.
Jail is the last place not to make friends. Let's face it, you don't end up in jail for having exceptional manners, an excellent job, and a great life philosophy. Don't get me wrong, occasionally good people make stupid choices and end up places that were not in their destiny. (I am there. Flash back to high school and I would be writing for the New York Times, not some trashy blog about my rants and experiences.) We all make mistakes, but should your friends be a result of a mistake? I say no.
These are things that should be common sense and yet, over and over again, I hear the whining and the drama associated with people that have established relationships in an awkward manner. You become who you associate with. Remember that!
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