I once saw a commercial for a DNA testing location. It made the statement that as many as 1 in 20 children have no idea who their father is. That leads me to believe a few of things.
1. Women today are such whores that not only do they most likely sleep with and not use protection with more than one man a month, but most likely they do that within the same week. They have so little respect for themselves that they submit themselves to stds, unplanned pregnancy (btw I think this is total crap!!! We all know how babies are made, so no protection/no birth control means you are trying for a baby. Men this goes both ways!!!) and basically the public knowledge that they are an easy slut. I don't believe in accidents. I do believe in rape and that some women go on to both have and keep the babies that were a product of rape, but I do not for one second believe anyone that is not using anything had an unplanned or an accidental baby. (first mini rant down)
2. How many of these whores are going on to raise whores? (products of your environment we've been down my thoughts on this before) So let's get hypothetical. If half the one in twenty are females, which is logical, that means that one in forty whores doesn't know her dad. Also, this means one in forty man whores doesn't know who his father is. The odds of two whores in the same town finding each other, being stupid, and having a baby with their sibling have now become pretty decent.
3. Those numbers are just the ones that admit it. Get this, one forth of married women have had some sort of affair, and so have even more "men". Can you really trust your wife? (If the fathers of my children are reading this, yes, I am not a whore and I am over the moon with certainty of their paternity.)
4. This is my last one I swear. How many men have children out there that they are unaware of? I jokingly sent texts to all my guy friends with children that read, "Happy Father's Day to all my friends with kids they know about", but in all seriousness, how many kids are out there wondering where their father is?
I think on some level every man wants to be a father. Not every man wants to be a daddy. I was blessed to have a baby daddy that is a daddy. He comes around. He spends genuine time with our son. I have a father that spends obligational time with his four children and he didn't get so much as a text from me on Father's Day. I don't find it harsh. I know his sperm created our children, but I don't think a check once a week should allow you to claim fatherhood. I think that when your kids are in tears when they call you, that should be a clue that they should be with mom, not with you on a greeting card holiday made for your sense of entitlement.
Every kid should have a basic right to know who their father is. They should be able to know with sincerity why not only mommy and daddy aren't together anymore, but also why mommy and daddy didn't fight harder to make it work.
I also believe women should stop being irresponsible. Grow up. If you wish to engage in grown-up activities at the very least catch the guys first and last name when you sleep with him. Wear protection. If the protection fails at least you have a name. Personally, I would rather see all children be a product of marriage. I know "hypocrite" right, but we were engaged and I thought we were getting married. Kids deserve unconditional free interaction from both parents. They also deserve honesty from them.
If you haven't the slightest clue who the father of your child is, grow-up, make yourself a better person, get married and have a strong male father figure for your child. Set a good example, even if you decide to raise your child on your own. Stop being easy! Get an education! Get a career! Change the person you were into someone your child can be proud enough of to give a Father's Day card to even though you are their mother!
My final thoughts, if you are anywhere with a member of the opposite sex and you are not confident that mommy didn't cheat on daddy, daddy wasn't a man-whore, or that your partner is certain who their dad is, just don't touch it. We wonder why the US is falling behind, maybe this is part of the reason.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Did you really just FWD that???
Why yes, I did just forward that. I rock, and if you text me something odds are it gets a forward. However, I am selective with who gets my forwards and only the best make it past the elimination round. (Unless I am really bored. Never trust bored Jenelle with anything over a text!)
Ok, so as I have mentioned before I get tons of unsolicited, thought provoking picture messages. Over the course of the last week many of these messages have been deemed not eligible for forwarding due to inappropriate content. While I will not call out the sender of today's totally "winning" message, which I didn't forward, I will tell you that I laughed so hard I woke the baby man up.
"You should come over to my ex gfs house so we can have sex"....I deleted it, but you get the general idea. It was funny. It's one of those ironic things that would be only funnier if it was sent to you by your grandma or brother as a complex joke. I doubt the sender reads my blog (cuz he's lame. (if you are reading this no offense cuz it made my night and you rock as a person)) I also doubt that the sender of the other message I'm about to describe reads me either.
I didn't forward this because the person that sent it has recently become one of my best friends and because we talk daily I don't wish to offend him. However, I did receive a picture of said friend wearing only a strategically placed sock. Not gonna lie, it was pretty epic. He was pretty drunk, but the picture itself was rather tasteful. He is lucky I didn't at least forward it to Michael Schroen....ya he will be getting all my good pictures in exchange for all his good pictures, senders beware. (Evil laughter here)
I also got some other drunk pictures, which I of course forwarded. Some other confusing texts, which I held on to, may make it on a later blog, but for tonight I am keeping this one short and sweet and writing my way less fun, more opinionated blog on baby daddys and Father's Day.
The moral of this short but sweet blog: I have kids. They sometimes accidentally check my messages and flip through my pics. While I simply adore special pictures that are meant for me, keep in mind I have many friends. I am adding friends to my phone daily. The odds of you ending up on a gay porn site are pretty good.
PS...this blog is for my great and amazing friend Kristen. I love you girly.
Ok, so as I have mentioned before I get tons of unsolicited, thought provoking picture messages. Over the course of the last week many of these messages have been deemed not eligible for forwarding due to inappropriate content. While I will not call out the sender of today's totally "winning" message, which I didn't forward, I will tell you that I laughed so hard I woke the baby man up.
"You should come over to my ex gfs house so we can have sex"....I deleted it, but you get the general idea. It was funny. It's one of those ironic things that would be only funnier if it was sent to you by your grandma or brother as a complex joke. I doubt the sender reads my blog (cuz he's lame. (if you are reading this no offense cuz it made my night and you rock as a person)) I also doubt that the sender of the other message I'm about to describe reads me either.
I didn't forward this because the person that sent it has recently become one of my best friends and because we talk daily I don't wish to offend him. However, I did receive a picture of said friend wearing only a strategically placed sock. Not gonna lie, it was pretty epic. He was pretty drunk, but the picture itself was rather tasteful. He is lucky I didn't at least forward it to Michael Schroen....ya he will be getting all my good pictures in exchange for all his good pictures, senders beware. (Evil laughter here)
I also got some other drunk pictures, which I of course forwarded. Some other confusing texts, which I held on to, may make it on a later blog, but for tonight I am keeping this one short and sweet and writing my way less fun, more opinionated blog on baby daddys and Father's Day.
The moral of this short but sweet blog: I have kids. They sometimes accidentally check my messages and flip through my pics. While I simply adore special pictures that are meant for me, keep in mind I have many friends. I am adding friends to my phone daily. The odds of you ending up on a gay porn site are pretty good.
PS...this blog is for my great and amazing friend Kristen. I love you girly.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
BAD OR LAZY, parenting mistakes or neglectful?
The following story is a true account I had with a neighbor I will be referring to as chihuahua guy (mostly because he is always walking his chihuahuas in the park) and a guy I will call Parker (mostly cause he is always in the park talking to everyone). While the accounts I had are the true and actual accounts that I personally encountered, I am not completely certain that the whole story is accurate. Having said that, please use your own judgement while reading it.
Parker is what I like to refer to as the friendly neighborhood man-whore. He comes around often and as 18 year old men go, he is of average looks and low mental capacity. He is a hopeless flirt with every female he comes in contact with (ie me and other ghetto moms) but mostly with younger girls. I don't use the term girl lightly. I am talking he engages in conversations with 12-14 year old girls. These girls do not look 18. I know sometimes we feel bad or take pity on "men" that fall for a girl posing that she is older than she is. The girls in this story look 12 and 13 (especially with make-up on, I don't get why little girls put on too much make-up making themselves think they look older, but actually it makes them look like a little girl that played in mommy's make-up).
Anyways, back to the story, I ran into chihuahua guy yesterday and he informed me that Parker would no longer be going to the park. Of course we then dove into the semantics of the why. Apparently Parker had engaged in some sort of 3-way relations with himself, a 12 year old and a 13 year old girl. When others in the neighborhood found out, and by this I mean when the little girls trying to act grown told anyone that would give them any attention at all that they had "related" with Parker, the police were called.
I guess the police went to the residence of the young girls and inquired as to whether or not the incident had in fact occurred. The little girls tried to deny it, but one let it slip that they had had some form of sexual contact. At that point, it was up to the parent (I say parent cause everyone and their mom knows this lady, knows she is a single mom, and we are all pretty certain what she does to buy her habit) to press charges. She refused. She claimed her "child" was a shameful slut and was often promiscuous. Further she insisted that nothing happen to Parker as he was not the one to blame.
A group of older neighborhood guys has now taken it upon themselves to defend the little girls of the park and it's been said that if Parker should return, it would not be to his best interest. Keep in mind I know the guys and let's just say I am not trying to anger them in anyway, anytime soon. Parker would be wise to not come back to this park.
Now that I have shared my story for the day I would like to add some thoughts:
I have 3 beautiful amazing little girls. My daughters paint their nails, get temporary tattoos, chase butterflies, ride bikes, go down slides, kiss me goodnight, and laugh over the little things in life. I was 22 years old when I gave birth to my twins and just a year later I had my 3rd daughter. When my girls are 12 and 13, I will be 35 years old. At 35 years old many women are still having babys of their own, but potentially I could be a grandma.
I won't be a grandma at 35. I want to make that perfectly clear. I didn't really even think about having sex until high school. My daughters will not be either!!! Girls that are that young having sex are lacking love at home. They are lacking attention there so they are out seeking it anywhere they can get it. Then when an 18 year old man approaches a 12 year old girl she is actually just looking for a father figure, someone to step in and say all the things she isn't hearing at home and once he says them the first time she will do anything to keep hearing those words.
I know these girls. These girls don't like me because I "Talk to all their boyfriends". I took it upon myself to have a sit-down conversation with them which actually inspired me to go home and cry. For those that know me well, you know this isn't an easy feat. I have cried over about 7 people in my life. 4 of those were my kids. I explained to the girls that I had zero intentions of messing with the "men" that I personally feel are boys. Continued to tell them that all men want one thing, and if they want more than one thing then they would marry them first. I told them how difficult it is to be a single mom. I told them that they are not ready for pregnancy and motherhood and if they had kids now the chances that their children would be teenage parents is much higher. I told them to wash off the make-up and work on themselves and find a guy that fits into their life, not to try to fit themselves into someone else's life. Mostly, I told them that they were loved and I was here to talk anytime.
Unfortunately, I was not equipped for the response. The jests of it are now in quotes: "There are abortion centers and adoption centers where I can get paid for my baby." "Mama said you are just jealous of us cause you are fat." "You need to stop trying to be our friend and worry about your own brats." "We're going to be way more than you will ever be." "I can have sex with whoever I want, that's why they invented birth control."
Ya, that was the jest just add your own profanity about every other word. Really though I don't blame the girls, not for any of it. Kids are a product of their environment. In my house, Parker would have been sitting in jail tonight. My girls would have been in counseling or military school, or never leaving the house. For me it would be whatever it's going to take to keep my kids from having sex! For me it would not be acceptable for an 18 year old man to make my child a victim! If the police didn't do something about it, I would be doing something myself!
Not this lady. Not this time. Not these kids. Someday I will see them, "raising" kids of their own. They will be too young, too ill-equipped, and too lazy to care, just like their mom.
Parker is what I like to refer to as the friendly neighborhood man-whore. He comes around often and as 18 year old men go, he is of average looks and low mental capacity. He is a hopeless flirt with every female he comes in contact with (ie me and other ghetto moms) but mostly with younger girls. I don't use the term girl lightly. I am talking he engages in conversations with 12-14 year old girls. These girls do not look 18. I know sometimes we feel bad or take pity on "men" that fall for a girl posing that she is older than she is. The girls in this story look 12 and 13 (especially with make-up on, I don't get why little girls put on too much make-up making themselves think they look older, but actually it makes them look like a little girl that played in mommy's make-up).
Anyways, back to the story, I ran into chihuahua guy yesterday and he informed me that Parker would no longer be going to the park. Of course we then dove into the semantics of the why. Apparently Parker had engaged in some sort of 3-way relations with himself, a 12 year old and a 13 year old girl. When others in the neighborhood found out, and by this I mean when the little girls trying to act grown told anyone that would give them any attention at all that they had "related" with Parker, the police were called.
I guess the police went to the residence of the young girls and inquired as to whether or not the incident had in fact occurred. The little girls tried to deny it, but one let it slip that they had had some form of sexual contact. At that point, it was up to the parent (I say parent cause everyone and their mom knows this lady, knows she is a single mom, and we are all pretty certain what she does to buy her habit) to press charges. She refused. She claimed her "child" was a shameful slut and was often promiscuous. Further she insisted that nothing happen to Parker as he was not the one to blame.
A group of older neighborhood guys has now taken it upon themselves to defend the little girls of the park and it's been said that if Parker should return, it would not be to his best interest. Keep in mind I know the guys and let's just say I am not trying to anger them in anyway, anytime soon. Parker would be wise to not come back to this park.
Now that I have shared my story for the day I would like to add some thoughts:
I have 3 beautiful amazing little girls. My daughters paint their nails, get temporary tattoos, chase butterflies, ride bikes, go down slides, kiss me goodnight, and laugh over the little things in life. I was 22 years old when I gave birth to my twins and just a year later I had my 3rd daughter. When my girls are 12 and 13, I will be 35 years old. At 35 years old many women are still having babys of their own, but potentially I could be a grandma.
I won't be a grandma at 35. I want to make that perfectly clear. I didn't really even think about having sex until high school. My daughters will not be either!!! Girls that are that young having sex are lacking love at home. They are lacking attention there so they are out seeking it anywhere they can get it. Then when an 18 year old man approaches a 12 year old girl she is actually just looking for a father figure, someone to step in and say all the things she isn't hearing at home and once he says them the first time she will do anything to keep hearing those words.
I know these girls. These girls don't like me because I "Talk to all their boyfriends". I took it upon myself to have a sit-down conversation with them which actually inspired me to go home and cry. For those that know me well, you know this isn't an easy feat. I have cried over about 7 people in my life. 4 of those were my kids. I explained to the girls that I had zero intentions of messing with the "men" that I personally feel are boys. Continued to tell them that all men want one thing, and if they want more than one thing then they would marry them first. I told them how difficult it is to be a single mom. I told them that they are not ready for pregnancy and motherhood and if they had kids now the chances that their children would be teenage parents is much higher. I told them to wash off the make-up and work on themselves and find a guy that fits into their life, not to try to fit themselves into someone else's life. Mostly, I told them that they were loved and I was here to talk anytime.
Unfortunately, I was not equipped for the response. The jests of it are now in quotes: "There are abortion centers and adoption centers where I can get paid for my baby." "Mama said you are just jealous of us cause you are fat." "You need to stop trying to be our friend and worry about your own brats." "We're going to be way more than you will ever be." "I can have sex with whoever I want, that's why they invented birth control."
Ya, that was the jest just add your own profanity about every other word. Really though I don't blame the girls, not for any of it. Kids are a product of their environment. In my house, Parker would have been sitting in jail tonight. My girls would have been in counseling or military school, or never leaving the house. For me it would be whatever it's going to take to keep my kids from having sex! For me it would not be acceptable for an 18 year old man to make my child a victim! If the police didn't do something about it, I would be doing something myself!
Not this lady. Not this time. Not these kids. Someday I will see them, "raising" kids of their own. They will be too young, too ill-equipped, and too lazy to care, just like their mom.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Is Your Destination Determined By Your Arrival?
I recently read an article about how some schools are now inquiring personal information from parents such as if their child was a c-section or a vaginal delivery, stating that your arrival may determine something about your future. I have also heard that the time of day which you are born may also effect your personality. Due to these recent revelations, and the fact that Skye's birthday is Saturday, I decided to relive the birth stories of my 5 children and compare it to the people they are.
Christopher was born September 18, 2003. He is now seven years old. People had always told me that I would just know when I was in labor, but I'd be lying if I told you that I knew right away I was in labor. It was 3am. I thought I had to take the biggest poo of my entire life, thus that's what I did. When I was done, the pain stopped, well for five minutes anyhow. That's when I thought I had to repeat the process. It was until my third attempt 3 minutes later when I realized what it was. While most moms have several 5 minutes apart contractions, mine went to 2 minutes apart almost immediately. Then by the time I had barfed and walked to the car, they were a minute and 30 seconds apart. My water broke as I stepped out of the car. Three old men were sitting outside at 4am laughing at me. I could barely talk to the ladies in the emergency room. I was already at 5cm after only an hour and a half of labor. At 10:18 AM, after 20 minutes of pushing, Christopher (who was supposed to be a girl) was born. He was 7lbs 11ozs, but I really don't remember those first minutes after his birth with him. Rather I remember that my resident doctor thought it would be hilarious to put the placenta and sac over his hand and make it talk.
To this day, Christopher is a morning person. He never has any trouble waking up, getting dressed, or arriving quickly to his destination. He is a nag and doesn't give up easily. If there is something he wants me to know, believe me, I get the hint.
Manda and Sydney were born on May 25, 2006. Despite having some mild contractions on the day I was exactly 38 weeks pregnant, they decided to speed the process up by being induced. It took what seemed like forever just to get to 3 cm. Then they broke Manda's water. Then it took another hour to get to 4cm. At this point my contractions were in dangerous overdrive, my epidural didn't work, and I had no time for another because I went from 4cm to 9cm in 20 minutes. I wasn't pushing and yet at 9cm I was crowning with Manda. Two pushes later she was out, screaming her head off like she was going to die at 10:20 pm. All I remember is that I wanted to be done. The doctors knew each other and were discussing the impending fishing season and I just wanted to tell them to stfu. Sydney was supposed to be a breech extraction, and although those words terrified me, I had read a lot about it online, and I felt confident that I would have a couple stitches and be leaving the hospital in 2 days. Only one problem, she was still in her water sac and they didn't realize it until they went to grab her feet, broke the sac and ended up with a hand. They shoved her back in (mind you zero pain meds were being used), and I had an emergency knocked out cold c-section. I was told she arrived at 11:11pm.
Today Manda takes her time until she wants to do something, then it must be done immediately. She is extremely quiet, until you make her mad at which point you can hear her halfway down the hall. She sleeps the most of all my kids. Sydney is stubborn. She is either your big helper, or your biggest rival. She never does anything the normal way. She makes her s's backwards and her y's are huge. She is a night owl without a doubt. She is also very smart.
Skye was born June 11, 2007. At 5am I was laying in bed next to Christopher who had a nightmare and thought I had farted. However, the fart was quite juicy thus leading me to believe I pooped myself. When I stood though I soon felt water gush down my leg and realized that in fact, my water had broken. So we went to the hospital...where we waited....for twelve hours....then I finally had a contraction. At 6:32, Skye was born via VBAC. Once again I had gone from 4cm to 10 cm in under 20 minutes, this time with pain meds! Hooray for that. She cried once, if you call it crying and fell asleep.
Today Skye is my procrastinator. She is my sleeper. She is my little princess that still loves to make the bed wet. She is my smartest child by far. She is always my biggest fan.
I would do Austin's birth story now, but I have another idea for that. I hope this inspires you to think about your kids and their arrivals, maybe even message me about then and how it's played out in their lives.
Christopher was born September 18, 2003. He is now seven years old. People had always told me that I would just know when I was in labor, but I'd be lying if I told you that I knew right away I was in labor. It was 3am. I thought I had to take the biggest poo of my entire life, thus that's what I did. When I was done, the pain stopped, well for five minutes anyhow. That's when I thought I had to repeat the process. It was until my third attempt 3 minutes later when I realized what it was. While most moms have several 5 minutes apart contractions, mine went to 2 minutes apart almost immediately. Then by the time I had barfed and walked to the car, they were a minute and 30 seconds apart. My water broke as I stepped out of the car. Three old men were sitting outside at 4am laughing at me. I could barely talk to the ladies in the emergency room. I was already at 5cm after only an hour and a half of labor. At 10:18 AM, after 20 minutes of pushing, Christopher (who was supposed to be a girl) was born. He was 7lbs 11ozs, but I really don't remember those first minutes after his birth with him. Rather I remember that my resident doctor thought it would be hilarious to put the placenta and sac over his hand and make it talk.
To this day, Christopher is a morning person. He never has any trouble waking up, getting dressed, or arriving quickly to his destination. He is a nag and doesn't give up easily. If there is something he wants me to know, believe me, I get the hint.
Manda and Sydney were born on May 25, 2006. Despite having some mild contractions on the day I was exactly 38 weeks pregnant, they decided to speed the process up by being induced. It took what seemed like forever just to get to 3 cm. Then they broke Manda's water. Then it took another hour to get to 4cm. At this point my contractions were in dangerous overdrive, my epidural didn't work, and I had no time for another because I went from 4cm to 9cm in 20 minutes. I wasn't pushing and yet at 9cm I was crowning with Manda. Two pushes later she was out, screaming her head off like she was going to die at 10:20 pm. All I remember is that I wanted to be done. The doctors knew each other and were discussing the impending fishing season and I just wanted to tell them to stfu. Sydney was supposed to be a breech extraction, and although those words terrified me, I had read a lot about it online, and I felt confident that I would have a couple stitches and be leaving the hospital in 2 days. Only one problem, she was still in her water sac and they didn't realize it until they went to grab her feet, broke the sac and ended up with a hand. They shoved her back in (mind you zero pain meds were being used), and I had an emergency knocked out cold c-section. I was told she arrived at 11:11pm.
Today Manda takes her time until she wants to do something, then it must be done immediately. She is extremely quiet, until you make her mad at which point you can hear her halfway down the hall. She sleeps the most of all my kids. Sydney is stubborn. She is either your big helper, or your biggest rival. She never does anything the normal way. She makes her s's backwards and her y's are huge. She is a night owl without a doubt. She is also very smart.
Skye was born June 11, 2007. At 5am I was laying in bed next to Christopher who had a nightmare and thought I had farted. However, the fart was quite juicy thus leading me to believe I pooped myself. When I stood though I soon felt water gush down my leg and realized that in fact, my water had broken. So we went to the hospital...where we waited....for twelve hours....then I finally had a contraction. At 6:32, Skye was born via VBAC. Once again I had gone from 4cm to 10 cm in under 20 minutes, this time with pain meds! Hooray for that. She cried once, if you call it crying and fell asleep.
Today Skye is my procrastinator. She is my sleeper. She is my little princess that still loves to make the bed wet. She is my smartest child by far. She is always my biggest fan.
I would do Austin's birth story now, but I have another idea for that. I hope this inspires you to think about your kids and their arrivals, maybe even message me about then and how it's played out in their lives.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
How You Met Me Matters!!!
I know this guy. Let's call him Joe. ( I am calling him Joe cuz that's his name and I know that this boy will not be taking the time to read my blog.) Joe and I met when I was trying to walk off my fat on the track outside my apartment. He proceeded to give me his life story. Details included his pursuit of a GED and a job at Taco Bell. Ya, this guy is a total package let me tell you. He is 18, and at age 27 his attempts to hit on me were both denied and humorous.
Today I ran into Joe again while I was grilling food. He was in a swimsuit and tennis shoes so of course I made the reasonable deduction that he was going to the neighborhood pool. The pool is nice, but it cost $2.00 to go. So when Joe volunteered the facts that he was in fact going to the pool and the fact that he had no money of course my brain ran to the logical conclusion that this venture would not be a possibility. That was until he explained that he was a relationship whore. (I had deducted this in former conversations as well.)
You see he would be going to the pool where he would meet some random girl. Then he will flirt with this random girl outside the pool until she took pity on him or found him adorable and paid his way into the pool. At this point he would spend his pool time with the female, make her his girlfriend, and go back to her place for sex. So technically this unsuspecting girl is not only paying for his company, but paying to get laid. It's a master plan. When I inquired as to why he doesn't just get a fb, he further explained that fbs are all hoes and he would likely catch something.
This brings me to today's rant. How you meet someone will determine the entire course of the rest of the friendship/relationship. I meet people all the time. Sometimes we meet on facebook, but mostly we meet in real life. Any man that I meet will not be receiving a dime of my money. Ya, that's right. If you are so pitiful that our first chance meeting includes me doing you any type of prop, I will know you are a user and it will be our last encounter.
Also, boys, if our first texting experience includes you trying to interest me in pictures of your anatomy, you will not be a future part of my contacts list. Is this something you would expect me to have to say? Do guys really just send pictures like that to anyone? Why, yes girls. Guys, and I can say with almost complete confidence guys with camera phones, will end up sending me lude photos of themselves. I have gotten them from 5 different guys just this month. I have not asked for any of these pictures. I don't even text anything dirty and yet poof, they appear. I find this slightly amusing. I often wonder if men believe that if we see it, we will have to have it. Quite honestly, it's not working. Just ask the guys that sent me the pictures. If you would like a list of names just send your inquiry to........just kidding people!
Also guys of America, if a girl is wearing something completely slutty during your first encounter, and you are not a beach, chances are she is either conceited or a whore. Take your pick. Neither is a good option. Taking this one step further, if she informs you she is taken/married/engaged/involved with another man, but she hooks up with you, she will cheat on you as well. You'll end up in court on some lovely day with a baby that may or may not be yours that you could end up spending the rest of your life supporting. If she has 3 or more baby daddies currently, RUN!!!! This same piece of advice should be flopped around and used for girls also.
Girls that are considering dumping their current mate for another man, here is a newsflash for you. If he was willing to steal you away from another man, what kind of man is he? He sounds like a complete model citizen to me. Due note my sarcasm. If he isn't calling you or texting you, he just isn't that into you.
If the first time you meet someone they are drunk, is it really a good meeting? The fact that they are drunk speaks highly of their character. It gives you a sense that they are trying to escape from something. In my experience, anyone that has something to escape from will not make a good friend. They will drag their drama coated baggage into your life and make you miserable. A true desired relationship/friendship should be with someone that has nothing to run from. Make friends with people that have it together. I know this is difficult in a town like ours where the only entertainment comes from a bar or bowling alley, but try to put it into some perspective. You become who you surround yourself with. Dramatic drunks will become you. Then you also will have something to escape from.
Jail is the last place not to make friends. Let's face it, you don't end up in jail for having exceptional manners, an excellent job, and a great life philosophy. Don't get me wrong, occasionally good people make stupid choices and end up places that were not in their destiny. (I am there. Flash back to high school and I would be writing for the New York Times, not some trashy blog about my rants and experiences.) We all make mistakes, but should your friends be a result of a mistake? I say no.
These are things that should be common sense and yet, over and over again, I hear the whining and the drama associated with people that have established relationships in an awkward manner. You become who you associate with. Remember that!
Today I ran into Joe again while I was grilling food. He was in a swimsuit and tennis shoes so of course I made the reasonable deduction that he was going to the neighborhood pool. The pool is nice, but it cost $2.00 to go. So when Joe volunteered the facts that he was in fact going to the pool and the fact that he had no money of course my brain ran to the logical conclusion that this venture would not be a possibility. That was until he explained that he was a relationship whore. (I had deducted this in former conversations as well.)
You see he would be going to the pool where he would meet some random girl. Then he will flirt with this random girl outside the pool until she took pity on him or found him adorable and paid his way into the pool. At this point he would spend his pool time with the female, make her his girlfriend, and go back to her place for sex. So technically this unsuspecting girl is not only paying for his company, but paying to get laid. It's a master plan. When I inquired as to why he doesn't just get a fb, he further explained that fbs are all hoes and he would likely catch something.
This brings me to today's rant. How you meet someone will determine the entire course of the rest of the friendship/relationship. I meet people all the time. Sometimes we meet on facebook, but mostly we meet in real life. Any man that I meet will not be receiving a dime of my money. Ya, that's right. If you are so pitiful that our first chance meeting includes me doing you any type of prop, I will know you are a user and it will be our last encounter.
Also, boys, if our first texting experience includes you trying to interest me in pictures of your anatomy, you will not be a future part of my contacts list. Is this something you would expect me to have to say? Do guys really just send pictures like that to anyone? Why, yes girls. Guys, and I can say with almost complete confidence guys with camera phones, will end up sending me lude photos of themselves. I have gotten them from 5 different guys just this month. I have not asked for any of these pictures. I don't even text anything dirty and yet poof, they appear. I find this slightly amusing. I often wonder if men believe that if we see it, we will have to have it. Quite honestly, it's not working. Just ask the guys that sent me the pictures. If you would like a list of names just send your inquiry to........just kidding people!
Also guys of America, if a girl is wearing something completely slutty during your first encounter, and you are not a beach, chances are she is either conceited or a whore. Take your pick. Neither is a good option. Taking this one step further, if she informs you she is taken/married/engaged/involved with another man, but she hooks up with you, she will cheat on you as well. You'll end up in court on some lovely day with a baby that may or may not be yours that you could end up spending the rest of your life supporting. If she has 3 or more baby daddies currently, RUN!!!! This same piece of advice should be flopped around and used for girls also.
Girls that are considering dumping their current mate for another man, here is a newsflash for you. If he was willing to steal you away from another man, what kind of man is he? He sounds like a complete model citizen to me. Due note my sarcasm. If he isn't calling you or texting you, he just isn't that into you.
If the first time you meet someone they are drunk, is it really a good meeting? The fact that they are drunk speaks highly of their character. It gives you a sense that they are trying to escape from something. In my experience, anyone that has something to escape from will not make a good friend. They will drag their drama coated baggage into your life and make you miserable. A true desired relationship/friendship should be with someone that has nothing to run from. Make friends with people that have it together. I know this is difficult in a town like ours where the only entertainment comes from a bar or bowling alley, but try to put it into some perspective. You become who you surround yourself with. Dramatic drunks will become you. Then you also will have something to escape from.
Jail is the last place not to make friends. Let's face it, you don't end up in jail for having exceptional manners, an excellent job, and a great life philosophy. Don't get me wrong, occasionally good people make stupid choices and end up places that were not in their destiny. (I am there. Flash back to high school and I would be writing for the New York Times, not some trashy blog about my rants and experiences.) We all make mistakes, but should your friends be a result of a mistake? I say no.
These are things that should be common sense and yet, over and over again, I hear the whining and the drama associated with people that have established relationships in an awkward manner. You become who you associate with. Remember that!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
It's all that...
Once upon a time....in a land not so far away I was given an analogy. One man in a certain female's life was all that and a bag of chips and another certain male was all that and a sweet chocolate chip cookie. Personally, I prefer cookies to chips the majority of the time, so it should have been a no-brainer as to which man she should have been with right?
It wasn't. The reason being that if either choice had been the right choice, there would have been no choice to make at all. Rather she would have decided, been consistent, and been happy knowing that she was with the person she was supposed to be with.
Of course, that was high school, and as is the case with most high school flames, it burned out quickly and was never mentioned again. I think the reason many women believe there should be a choice is that we like being liked. We want a million guys to validate us with their comments, gifts, and other actions (ya, you know what I am talking about). We want to not just be wanted, but to be fought over.
The thing of it is we are like to be hard to obtain, hard to keep once obtained, and remain obtainable in case something or someone better comes along. So, we place these "walls" and "rules" around us like a fortress. We tell men we are hard to get, and that we are amazing in hopes that they will "believe" us.
Sadly, the women that are wanted by the most men are usually the loneliest. They can't/refuse to confine themselves to one relationship. They always assume they can do better. It's the grass is always greener effect. There will always be a hotter guy. There will always be a smarter guy. There will always be a more affluent guy. There will be a better dressed guy. (and he will be gay) What we women fail to realize is there are also female counterparts to these guys. Prettier, more intelligent, rich and well put together women are out there.
Truthfully, it's not about what's "better". Hot guys don't always make us laugh. Smart guys don't always know us for who we are. Money can't buy happiness and you can't turn your best gay friend straight. There is no "perfect" guy. A nice guy, that listens, makes you laugh, holds a job, and takes care of your needs, that's the guy you should be seeking. That's the kinda man that will make your dreams come true!
Now here is my lesson to you men out there: not every girl reads/understands/believes my blog. At the end of the day the only girl you can make happy is the girl that was happy before she met you. A girl that's not happy with herself needs the attention of multiple men. This girl will cheat! She will possibly even be a whore. Having said that, once you have a girl remind her daily why you are with her. Validate her feelings with compliments, random Tuesday gifts, and tell her you love her every day. Don't let things get boring just because it's not new anymore. Open doors, pull chairs, brush her hair outta her face before you kiss her. It's the little things in our own yard that keep of from admiring the neighbor's grass.
Finally girls, my lessons to the boys apply to you too. But here are some additional thoughts for married women. Men have three moods: Horny, hungry, and tired. If he isn't sleeping and doesn't want sex get him a sandwich and a beer. Appreciate what you have so he will want to appreciate you. Don't make him do your chores, do your part so he can do his. The happier the man is the happier he will make you.
It wasn't. The reason being that if either choice had been the right choice, there would have been no choice to make at all. Rather she would have decided, been consistent, and been happy knowing that she was with the person she was supposed to be with.
Of course, that was high school, and as is the case with most high school flames, it burned out quickly and was never mentioned again. I think the reason many women believe there should be a choice is that we like being liked. We want a million guys to validate us with their comments, gifts, and other actions (ya, you know what I am talking about). We want to not just be wanted, but to be fought over.
The thing of it is we are like to be hard to obtain, hard to keep once obtained, and remain obtainable in case something or someone better comes along. So, we place these "walls" and "rules" around us like a fortress. We tell men we are hard to get, and that we are amazing in hopes that they will "believe" us.
Sadly, the women that are wanted by the most men are usually the loneliest. They can't/refuse to confine themselves to one relationship. They always assume they can do better. It's the grass is always greener effect. There will always be a hotter guy. There will always be a smarter guy. There will always be a more affluent guy. There will be a better dressed guy. (and he will be gay) What we women fail to realize is there are also female counterparts to these guys. Prettier, more intelligent, rich and well put together women are out there.
Truthfully, it's not about what's "better". Hot guys don't always make us laugh. Smart guys don't always know us for who we are. Money can't buy happiness and you can't turn your best gay friend straight. There is no "perfect" guy. A nice guy, that listens, makes you laugh, holds a job, and takes care of your needs, that's the guy you should be seeking. That's the kinda man that will make your dreams come true!
Now here is my lesson to you men out there: not every girl reads/understands/believes my blog. At the end of the day the only girl you can make happy is the girl that was happy before she met you. A girl that's not happy with herself needs the attention of multiple men. This girl will cheat! She will possibly even be a whore. Having said that, once you have a girl remind her daily why you are with her. Validate her feelings with compliments, random Tuesday gifts, and tell her you love her every day. Don't let things get boring just because it's not new anymore. Open doors, pull chairs, brush her hair outta her face before you kiss her. It's the little things in our own yard that keep of from admiring the neighbor's grass.
Finally girls, my lessons to the boys apply to you too. But here are some additional thoughts for married women. Men have three moods: Horny, hungry, and tired. If he isn't sleeping and doesn't want sex get him a sandwich and a beer. Appreciate what you have so he will want to appreciate you. Don't make him do your chores, do your part so he can do his. The happier the man is the happier he will make you.
Friday, June 3, 2011
UGLY duckling syndrome....
I am blogging instead of being able to do my homework....which I need to do badly so if you don't like this blog and want to call it "weak", don't read it... for those that love my writing, you may continue.
I was at the park, you know that one with the river across from the hospital with 58,979 geese, feeding the them when I suddenly had this flashback to being a child. When I was little I read this wonderful tale, I'm sure we all know it, about a little duck that was different (ugly). The duck grows up and becomes this amazingly beautiful swan and all the ducks that made fun of him were oh so jealous. The moral being that if you are born ugly, you can change into a very attractive person with age. While sometimes that occurs, the majority of the time, it doesn't. (at least without some expensive surgery it doesn't)
I bring this up because we are sending the wrong message to our kids every night before we go to bed. Our daughters are out there looking for their night in shining armour and instead they find a retard in tin foil. They are looking for a handsome prince charming, and instead get a sexy prince lying. They kiss a frog and all they get is a rash on their mouth. It's sad, but it's where the reality is headed. I found my retarded, lying, idiots. I could continue to look forward to my fairy tale ending, but let's face it, I am no Kate Middleton, nor am I getting any younger.
You are going to become pretty by being teased. You are going to find a man by eating an apple and getting very sick. Most importantly, you are not going to grow a fin and live with the mermaids. It's sad. They are all impressive tales of how one finds happiness. We all want to be that princess on some level. On another level I think every man wants to be someones prince. They want to ride in on a white horse and rescue the princess, but guys, I'm not a princess. This is no fairy tale. At the end of the day you are still the ugly ogre, and I am someone where in between the girl that needs rescued, and the girl of your dreams.
I want to tell my girls instead tales of truth. You don't need a man to validate who you are. Be confident in yourself and be amazing with or without a man. You can't be anything you want, but if you apply yourself you can have a very productive career in a field that suits you well. There are girls that will be jealous of you and that's why they call you names, but there will also be girls that are mean to you because they are in fact prettier and more popular than you. The mirror isn't magic. What you see is what you get, so if you are not happy with it, change it. The woodland creatures won't be singing and many are rather tasty. There are some evil people out there. If you think there is some good in everyone, you haven't met everyone. You can't sing your way through life. Sometimes the little engine can try and try, but he just can't get up.
I also want to tell my boys these truths. Not every girl is a princess. Sometimes she really is an evil queen dressed really nicely. If you find a girls shoe, and it's made of glass, chances are she is a gold digger. Return it out of courtesy, but RUN!!! Not every girl is dying to go with you to the ball. Some will turn you away, be hard to get, and those girls, those are the ones worth winning over. Girls don't always have their hair perfect, wear pretty dresses, and get trapped in towers to wait for you. Sometimes you have to take a chance and go looking. No girl can turn you into a prince with a kiss. She can kiss you til the cows come home (where they were before this, I don't know) but at the end of the day you are still going to be the person you always were.
Before you all think I am a total downer, there are a few lessons I did learn from the movies. There's no place like home. Happily ever after just gets you to the sequel. He who has many friends, has no friends. He that finds discontentment in one place is not likely to find happiness in another. A change of scene does not change one's character.
At the end of the day I don't want you to think I am playing the big bad wolf and not allowing my kids to have dreams. I am trying to keep their dreams concrete. Building a pipe dream is very cold and very unobtainable. Building a house out of straw because it's easy and affordable temporarily can cost you in the end.
I was at the park, you know that one with the river across from the hospital with 58,979 geese, feeding the them when I suddenly had this flashback to being a child. When I was little I read this wonderful tale, I'm sure we all know it, about a little duck that was different (ugly). The duck grows up and becomes this amazingly beautiful swan and all the ducks that made fun of him were oh so jealous. The moral being that if you are born ugly, you can change into a very attractive person with age. While sometimes that occurs, the majority of the time, it doesn't. (at least without some expensive surgery it doesn't)
I bring this up because we are sending the wrong message to our kids every night before we go to bed. Our daughters are out there looking for their night in shining armour and instead they find a retard in tin foil. They are looking for a handsome prince charming, and instead get a sexy prince lying. They kiss a frog and all they get is a rash on their mouth. It's sad, but it's where the reality is headed. I found my retarded, lying, idiots. I could continue to look forward to my fairy tale ending, but let's face it, I am no Kate Middleton, nor am I getting any younger.
You are going to become pretty by being teased. You are going to find a man by eating an apple and getting very sick. Most importantly, you are not going to grow a fin and live with the mermaids. It's sad. They are all impressive tales of how one finds happiness. We all want to be that princess on some level. On another level I think every man wants to be someones prince. They want to ride in on a white horse and rescue the princess, but guys, I'm not a princess. This is no fairy tale. At the end of the day you are still the ugly ogre, and I am someone where in between the girl that needs rescued, and the girl of your dreams.
I want to tell my girls instead tales of truth. You don't need a man to validate who you are. Be confident in yourself and be amazing with or without a man. You can't be anything you want, but if you apply yourself you can have a very productive career in a field that suits you well. There are girls that will be jealous of you and that's why they call you names, but there will also be girls that are mean to you because they are in fact prettier and more popular than you. The mirror isn't magic. What you see is what you get, so if you are not happy with it, change it. The woodland creatures won't be singing and many are rather tasty. There are some evil people out there. If you think there is some good in everyone, you haven't met everyone. You can't sing your way through life. Sometimes the little engine can try and try, but he just can't get up.
I also want to tell my boys these truths. Not every girl is a princess. Sometimes she really is an evil queen dressed really nicely. If you find a girls shoe, and it's made of glass, chances are she is a gold digger. Return it out of courtesy, but RUN!!! Not every girl is dying to go with you to the ball. Some will turn you away, be hard to get, and those girls, those are the ones worth winning over. Girls don't always have their hair perfect, wear pretty dresses, and get trapped in towers to wait for you. Sometimes you have to take a chance and go looking. No girl can turn you into a prince with a kiss. She can kiss you til the cows come home (where they were before this, I don't know) but at the end of the day you are still going to be the person you always were.
Before you all think I am a total downer, there are a few lessons I did learn from the movies. There's no place like home. Happily ever after just gets you to the sequel. He who has many friends, has no friends. He that finds discontentment in one place is not likely to find happiness in another. A change of scene does not change one's character.
At the end of the day I don't want you to think I am playing the big bad wolf and not allowing my kids to have dreams. I am trying to keep their dreams concrete. Building a pipe dream is very cold and very unobtainable. Building a house out of straw because it's easy and affordable temporarily can cost you in the end.
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