Mac and Cheese Disappointments

Everyone has fond memories of mac and cheese from childhood. Nothing was more exciting than hearing you mother tell you that a box of Kraft (because let's face it, the off brands just never compared) was on the menu. It was creamy and cheesy, comforting because it was familiar and the taste never changed. So when my first serious boyfriend offered to make some shells and cheese I was quite reluctant. He was insistent that I would like it. I took one bite of the half-cooked shells, faked a smile, and told him they were a bit crunchy. Then he tried them and totally got my expression. The next day, he was unfortunate enough to have to eat my eggs, which may rock now, but totally sucked at 15.

Fast forward two years, and my now ex husband tries to make me mac and cheese when I was sick. He may have nailed the consistency of the noodles, but he had an epic fail on the cheese. Instead of milk and butter, he used pure water. I would have been better off eating the box.

Sometimes are memories play tricks on us. We like to remember things as better than the way they actually were. Last night I was talking to a friend and suddenly realized how bad my last engagement actually was verses how I try to remember it. Just because the majority of the relationship wasn't bad, it does not mean it was good either. It's like mac and cheese, the memories of the taste of properly made macaroni does not make the stuff you are currently eating any less disgusting.

Since becoming an adult, regular mac and cheese no longer cuts it. I find myself adding things like bacon, hotdogs, or onions. This brings me to my next point, being good, doesn't make something great. On Saturday night I picked up an old friend and took my son to the park. It was fun, not just because we are good friends, but because we created fun. He decided to crash a Mexican baptism and grab a beer. I stood outside while he walked in. Once inside a girl asked him who he knew at the party, and he said, "Jose." While this is completely racist, it was also hilarious. The girl proceed to inform him she has seen him with his girl outside. (Given my blonde hair and blue eyes I don't make a good Mexican.) He informed her that I was in fact not his girl and just a friend. Meanwhile the men at the party were only concerned that he was old enough to drink.

Obviously, this was probably the most I had laughed in a while, as well as being a great memory and drinking story. My point of this story, is that while that is my funny memory, it didn't make the action any more right. Not only should he have not crashed the party, but he shouldn't have been drinking for multiple reasons. Yet, when I reflect on this night later on, I can say with almost complete certainty that other people will find it funny too.

We have to put up with the bad sometimes to see the good in the entire picture. Today I wrote a blog entirely based on the concept of mac and cheese. Because two of my exes couldn't cook, I got to take away memories to share. I want to leave you with this: you are in the memories of many other people and one day they are going to pull out those memories and while they may have been a disappointment to you, they are hilarious to someone else.

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Seven was a big year for me. I was in dance, figure skating, and golf. For the life of me. I still can't dance or golf. However, it was also the year I went to Disney World.
Disney World is a magical place where if someone plays their cards right, they can see all the amazing charecters that made their childhood special. For weeks I planned out riding space mountian and shaking hands with Mickey Mouse. I saw myself in front of Cinderella's castle meeting Prince Charming and getting a kiss on the cheek. My whole concept of what Disney World was was based on the premise of commercials and childhood naivity.
So when I went to date years later, I entered it with the same false realities I had come across on tv specials and Hallmark movies. I would find the right guy, and even if I found the wrong one the first time, the right one would kick his ass and steal me away and leave me feeling happy every single day.
Shortly, after arriving at Disney I noticed a couple concerning things. Basically, I was too short to ride Space Mountain, and the place was HUGE so the odds of finding my childhood idols to say hi to was out of my grasp. I never once got to meet Mickey, and I found Prince Charming to be rather ugly in person. The things I was tall enough to ride were mondain everyday rides like the Dumbo ride, the teacups, bumper cars, and something with a troll that was a water ride that went down backwards.
That's when I read the sign for something I could ride: Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. It sounded thrilling, much better than the Snow White which didn't even have Snow White in it once. Unfortunately, the ride really wasn't that wild in the fun way I had envisioned. There were a lot of jerky twists and turns and really ugly and sometimes scary frogs along the path. There wasn't a point in the ride that I wasn't waiting for the end ultimately so I could find something better after exiting the ride.
Thus brings me back to my dating life. (Yes, I really am about to compare my dating life thus far to the childhood disappointments of my Disney vacation.) When I set out on the journey of dating I thought it sounded fun. I pictured endless options and me selecting Prince Charming in the end. I thought the whole thing would be a fun satisfying adventure worth waiting in line for.
The reality has been a bunch of twists and turns accompanied by scary frogs, that no matter how much I kissed them, just simply would not turn into a prince. Everytime I get back on the ride, I hope for a different or better result (aware doing the same thing over and over is the basic definition of insanity here). The end results always varied, but anticipating the end of the ride has become normal now. The first time I had no idea how or when things would conclude, but after a series of going down similar roads I have anticipated disappointment would occur shortly after getting aboard the ride.
This year I have decided that I am ready to try a new ride. I want something without the word "wild" in it. A tame and mild adventure would be satisfactory any time now. Some new and fun where I don't have a clue where it will end and I will have no desire to get off. I want to be whisked of to meet Mickey Mouse and stop looking for Prince Charming because he isn't that good-looking anyways. I want to find a happily ever after, that even if I get off the ride for one minute, I can't wait to get back on. I don't want to pay for admission, but I don't expect it to be free either. I am going to give what I get and get it back. This is the year I get off Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for good and see if I am tall enough for Space Mountain.