I met someone last night. She was awesome and we instantly were talking like we had been friends for 15 years. Her kids were cute and got along with my kids well so we are probably going to be spending a ton of time together. See I started out in September with this crazy goal: I am going to hold a 5 minute conversation with someone new every day. Thus far, one day purely by stranger text, I have done just that. Some were weird and I most likely won't talk to them again, but some are like this girl and I will be seeing her almost daily.
Into the good part now I promise: We began talking about guys that are HFFA. They look good at a distance, but when you walk up on them, they make you want to turn and walk the other way. Sometimes it isn't even about the looks.
Many "men" look good on paper. (Ladies we all have a checklist, let's just admit it.) Job, car, his own place, money in his pocket, good credit, nice looking, educated, funny, smart, responsible, mature and caring all have their place on my list. I once a had guy that looked great on paper. He did and said all the right things, but when it came down to it, he was extremely immature, irresponsible, and just plain uncaring. He still puts on his mask as prince charming every day and some girl is liable to believe it. I pity that girl.
The truth is we all have our ugly moments. (Mine normally come first thing in the morning, messy hair, bad, attitude, morning breath.) However, after a brush, toothpaste, and some caffeine, I am no longer hot from a distance, but I am ok close up too.
I caught myself being sad this week. A certain person told me that I would be married and happy had I not had my children. I love my kids. I love the good and the bad. I love waking up to a crying child crawling into my bed after a nightmare. I live for giving high fives when my children get a perfect score on a test. I like feeding the geese, eating happy meals, and singing silly songs because my radio isn't working. I live my life for my children.
Some people want to be firemen, police officers, ballerinas, doctors or lawyers when they grow up. While I wanted to be a journalist, lawyer, and a mortician at various points in my life, I always had two other goals: wife and mom. Those feelings never changed. I always wanted a big noisy house with lots of love and laughter. I think it may be that way since I was an only child. I also wanted to fall asleep with a man that loved me and my huge family at the end of the night. I have parts and pieces of what I want, but I never ever pictured them in the way in which they have came.
My life without having children with the wrong men, would have been so much different. I would have been more financially stable. I would probably have a thriving career. I would drive a nicer car, live in a better neighborhood, and go camping on weekends. However, I don't know that for a fact. Let's just say that I would have had those things, there is nothing to say that my SUV wouldn't get hit by a semi tomorrow and kill my whole family. No matter how upset I am with the way things didn't turn out, there is no way that I would exchange it for what could be worse.
One day I will find the guy that is as good in person as he is on paper. I won't walk up on him without his mask on and want to keep walking. He will love us and be a part of our family, not complete it. We are a complete family with or without a man in it. Basically, I am writing all this because it is what I am thinking as I meet strangers. They all seem nice. They all seem unhappy though. They all have problems and so far they have all opened up to me because my life (on paper) seems worse than their own. Not one of them has made me want to turn away when they are not "hot enough".
Lesson for the day, especially when it comes to facebook, we all act happy on the outside. We all look good from a distance. However, the ones that seem really happy at a distance, are usually the most ugly close up. Just saying.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
How Old People Do It
This is probably not what some certain guys friends of mine thought it was. This is, however, me throwing my hat in the ring for the 2020 presidential race. Ok, so maybe not unless I get a tummy tuck, personal trainer, and a super sexy husband, but still I think I could save us billions in 5 easy steps.
Step 1) Cut back on what my be purchased with foodstamps. Why? It's like this. I worked at a grocery store and on several occasions saw people on foodstamps come in and by nothing but junk food and pop. These were also obese people. These are also typically your basic family on medicaid. Thus when these people are forced to make more nutricious choices due to their lack of ability to buy the junk food, they in turn lose weight. They lose weight, and their health problems decrease. When their health problems decrease they cost less money for medical costs. All of a sudden we have generated a healthy spiral of increased savings.
Step 2) Stop allowing certain illegal immigrants to have children here and then help them with food, medical and housing. Seriously, my great great great great some number of greats grandparents came over on the Mayflower. They went through a selection process to do so. So why can't we handpick the men and women we want in our country now. We want hard-working tax payers that give back to the community. If you are not a citizen and have a baby here, sure they can be a citizen, but no help supporting them unless their consenting over 18 guardian/parent is legal. You want to come here so badly, do the paperwork. I have never been handed anything. You shouldn't be either.
Step 3) Create a 3 and done rule. If you have 3 children on medicaid we will not take away you freedom to continue to procreate. However, any child born after the 3rd child is your expense to bare. No medical, no foodstamps, no tanf. Also within this rule, give a woman ten thousand dollars to stop at one or two. I figure that yes, 10 thousand is a lot of money, but it pales in comparison to the hospital costs of just giving birth to another child alone. Also, stop paying for epidurals. So many less women would get pregnant knowing they have to go all natural.
Step 4) Lower taxes on large corporations if they create at least 200 new jobs a year. So yes we are losing some tax money, but in the giant scheme of things we are gaining 200 tax payers that are not on unemployment benefits and can provide for their families. It just makes sense. Also creating jobs in one place helps to create jobs in other places. A new factory means that there are more people with money to spend, which in turn means more people are need to work at the places where money is being spent. Also more people then buy houses and create neighborhood stability. I am not seeing a downside.
Step 5) Stop giving away childcare vouchers to people that cannot make the cost of their voucher. Example: If I was to work a minimum wage job, I would make $280 a week. If I were to put my children into licensed childcare I would spend $45 a week per each of my 3 older children to have after school care. That's $135 a week. Since Skye has asthma, they want to charge me about $100 for her care. Then Austin's care since he is under a year old at a licensed daycare is around $198. That's $433 a week just in my childcare costs. Then they order my ex-husband to pay half taking my expense to $217. That would leave me with $63 of my paycheck and my ex-husband (who is supposedly making minimum wage pays me exactly $63 a week in support) with have nothing left of his paycheck. So let's be more reasonable. Help these situations with foodstamps and housing, but let's not waste tax payer dollars on finding them childcare and paying most of it. Let's just give these people the half the childcare expense they would be responsible for and let them have the resource to work at home. Whether we start offering online jobs, or make them become licensed as a childcare provider themselves. Or wait until all their kids are in school, make them work part-time and still help with food and housing. Let's do our math.
I have other steps too like legalizing marijuana so it can be taxed and making deadbeat dads pay more child support and starting empowerment classes to teach struggling single moms to do things like make their own laundry detergent and shop at garage sales. Also if we all spent something like $63 more a year on American made products we would create thousands of jobs. Ya, I am pretty sure you won't vote for me, but at least I have a plan. What does Obama have besides nice vacations on our dollar?
Step 1) Cut back on what my be purchased with foodstamps. Why? It's like this. I worked at a grocery store and on several occasions saw people on foodstamps come in and by nothing but junk food and pop. These were also obese people. These are also typically your basic family on medicaid. Thus when these people are forced to make more nutricious choices due to their lack of ability to buy the junk food, they in turn lose weight. They lose weight, and their health problems decrease. When their health problems decrease they cost less money for medical costs. All of a sudden we have generated a healthy spiral of increased savings.
Step 2) Stop allowing certain illegal immigrants to have children here and then help them with food, medical and housing. Seriously, my great great great great some number of greats grandparents came over on the Mayflower. They went through a selection process to do so. So why can't we handpick the men and women we want in our country now. We want hard-working tax payers that give back to the community. If you are not a citizen and have a baby here, sure they can be a citizen, but no help supporting them unless their consenting over 18 guardian/parent is legal. You want to come here so badly, do the paperwork. I have never been handed anything. You shouldn't be either.
Step 3) Create a 3 and done rule. If you have 3 children on medicaid we will not take away you freedom to continue to procreate. However, any child born after the 3rd child is your expense to bare. No medical, no foodstamps, no tanf. Also within this rule, give a woman ten thousand dollars to stop at one or two. I figure that yes, 10 thousand is a lot of money, but it pales in comparison to the hospital costs of just giving birth to another child alone. Also, stop paying for epidurals. So many less women would get pregnant knowing they have to go all natural.
Step 4) Lower taxes on large corporations if they create at least 200 new jobs a year. So yes we are losing some tax money, but in the giant scheme of things we are gaining 200 tax payers that are not on unemployment benefits and can provide for their families. It just makes sense. Also creating jobs in one place helps to create jobs in other places. A new factory means that there are more people with money to spend, which in turn means more people are need to work at the places where money is being spent. Also more people then buy houses and create neighborhood stability. I am not seeing a downside.
Step 5) Stop giving away childcare vouchers to people that cannot make the cost of their voucher. Example: If I was to work a minimum wage job, I would make $280 a week. If I were to put my children into licensed childcare I would spend $45 a week per each of my 3 older children to have after school care. That's $135 a week. Since Skye has asthma, they want to charge me about $100 for her care. Then Austin's care since he is under a year old at a licensed daycare is around $198. That's $433 a week just in my childcare costs. Then they order my ex-husband to pay half taking my expense to $217. That would leave me with $63 of my paycheck and my ex-husband (who is supposedly making minimum wage pays me exactly $63 a week in support) with have nothing left of his paycheck. So let's be more reasonable. Help these situations with foodstamps and housing, but let's not waste tax payer dollars on finding them childcare and paying most of it. Let's just give these people the half the childcare expense they would be responsible for and let them have the resource to work at home. Whether we start offering online jobs, or make them become licensed as a childcare provider themselves. Or wait until all their kids are in school, make them work part-time and still help with food and housing. Let's do our math.
I have other steps too like legalizing marijuana so it can be taxed and making deadbeat dads pay more child support and starting empowerment classes to teach struggling single moms to do things like make their own laundry detergent and shop at garage sales. Also if we all spent something like $63 more a year on American made products we would create thousands of jobs. Ya, I am pretty sure you won't vote for me, but at least I have a plan. What does Obama have besides nice vacations on our dollar?
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