Sunday, September 1, 2013

Trading Up

I once read an article about a man that turned a red paperclip into a house. He simply traded up over and over until the things he was trading were more and more valuable. He traded 14 times, the last time for a house. As I sit here today looking at my 10 loads of laundry and messy kitchen, it occurred to me that this is not how I pictured my life, but especially not the way I wanted my kids to live. Now I completely get I can get off my lazy ass and clean instead of blog, but as I was pondering this, I got an idea and I wanted to share it.
The other day I had a friend over and I told him he needed to turn a penny into an awesome present for me. Well what if my kids were able to complete their own dreams with just a penny? I know it's a radical concept. A penny is pretty much like the white crayon of money. It is rarely useful, and quite honestly I have heard myself tell my kids several times that I don't want their pennies because they are useless.
Tonight, I am going to flip that concept on it's head. I am going to give each of my kids a penny and tell them that they are responsible to turn it into their dreams. I, on the other hand, are going to use a white crayon. I am going to encourage them to trade it up. They can use ebay, craigslist, gofundme, or any other means possible to change their penny into something that they never thought it could be.
I want a house. Not just a little house, but a nice 4 bedroom around where we live now so our kids don't have to switch schools. I am going to get it by trading up a white crayon on various websites until I get one. I could work hard 3 jobs and not raise my own children like most people in America do now, but that doesn't prove anything about accomplishing the near impossible to my children.
I will be blogging about this along the way. I will be sharing the small accomplishments and the big ones.
If I get enough amazing stories along the way, I will write a book about it. That is my other dream. I want to be a published author and dedicate my book to the reasons I have dreams. My kids deserve more and I want them to see that they don't have to settle because of circumstances.
Christopher would like an xbox, the newest version with every game to play on his large 3d flat-screen tv from his gaming chair.
Manda wants a bunny and to join 4-H rabbit club. She also wants her own smart phone with a data plan.
Sydney wants to become a level 10 gymnast and one day teach gymnasts. She wants a room filled with trophies and all the equipment necessary to practice everything.
Skye wants a laptop computer with internet. She also wants make-up and would love to pay for her own gymnasts class to free up some money for other things.
Austin is almost 3. I doubt he really understands this, but I know that cats reduce his stress and seizures. I think he would love to get a cat. His cat needs litter and food and shots.
Tonight I am going sit down with them and help them each come up with an individual plan to help them accomplish their dreams. I will provide links to these things in later blogs.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Mac and Cheese Disappointments

Everyone has fond memories of mac and cheese from childhood. Nothing was more exciting than hearing you mother tell you that a box of Kraft (because let's face it, the off brands just never compared) was on the menu. It was creamy and cheesy, comforting because it was familiar and the taste never changed. So when my first serious boyfriend offered to make some shells and cheese I was quite reluctant. He was insistent that I would like it. I took one bite of the half-cooked shells, faked a smile, and told him they were a bit crunchy. Then he tried them and totally got my expression. The next day, he was unfortunate enough to have to eat my eggs, which may rock now, but totally sucked at 15.

Fast forward two years, and my now ex husband tries to make me mac and cheese when I was sick. He may have nailed the consistency of the noodles, but he had an epic fail on the cheese. Instead of milk and butter, he used pure water. I would have been better off eating the box.

Sometimes are memories play tricks on us. We like to remember things as better than the way they actually were. Last night I was talking to a friend and suddenly realized how bad my last engagement actually was verses how I try to remember it. Just because the majority of the relationship wasn't bad, it does not mean it was good either. It's like mac and cheese, the memories of the taste of properly made macaroni does not make the stuff you are currently eating any less disgusting.

Since becoming an adult, regular mac and cheese no longer cuts it. I find myself adding things like bacon, hotdogs, or onions. This brings me to my next point, being good, doesn't make something great. On Saturday night I picked up an old friend and took my son to the park. It was fun, not just because we are good friends, but because we created fun. He decided to crash a Mexican baptism and grab a beer. I stood outside while he walked in. Once inside a girl asked him who he knew at the party, and he said, "Jose." While this is completely racist, it was also hilarious. The girl proceed to inform him she has seen him with his girl outside. (Given my blonde hair and blue eyes I don't make a good Mexican.) He informed her that I was in fact not his girl and just a friend. Meanwhile the men at the party were only concerned that he was old enough to drink.

Obviously, this was probably the most I had laughed in a while, as well as being a great memory and drinking story. My point of this story, is that while that is my funny memory, it didn't make the action any more right. Not only should he have not crashed the party, but he shouldn't have been drinking for multiple reasons. Yet, when I reflect on this night later on, I can say with almost complete certainty that other people will find it funny too.

We have to put up with the bad sometimes to see the good in the entire picture. Today I wrote a blog entirely based on the concept of mac and cheese. Because two of my exes couldn't cook, I got to take away memories to share. I want to leave you with this: you are in the memories of many other people and one day they are going to pull out those memories and while they may have been a disappointment to you, they are hilarious to someone else.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Seven was a big year for me. I was in dance, figure skating, and golf. For the life of me. I still can't dance or golf. However, it was also the year I went to Disney World.
Disney World is a magical place where if someone plays their cards right, they can see all the amazing charecters that made their childhood special. For weeks I planned out riding space mountian and shaking hands with Mickey Mouse. I saw myself in front of Cinderella's castle meeting Prince Charming and getting a kiss on the cheek. My whole concept of what Disney World was was based on the premise of commercials and childhood naivity.
So when I went to date years later, I entered it with the same false realities I had come across on tv specials and Hallmark movies. I would find the right guy, and even if I found the wrong one the first time, the right one would kick his ass and steal me away and leave me feeling happy every single day.
Shortly, after arriving at Disney I noticed a couple concerning things. Basically, I was too short to ride Space Mountain, and the place was HUGE so the odds of finding my childhood idols to say hi to was out of my grasp. I never once got to meet Mickey, and I found Prince Charming to be rather ugly in person. The things I was tall enough to ride were mondain everyday rides like the Dumbo ride, the teacups, bumper cars, and something with a troll that was a water ride that went down backwards.
That's when I read the sign for something I could ride: Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. It sounded thrilling, much better than the Snow White which didn't even have Snow White in it once. Unfortunately, the ride really wasn't that wild in the fun way I had envisioned. There were a lot of jerky twists and turns and really ugly and sometimes scary frogs along the path. There wasn't a point in the ride that I wasn't waiting for the end ultimately so I could find something better after exiting the ride.
Thus brings me back to my dating life. (Yes, I really am about to compare my dating life thus far to the childhood disappointments of my Disney vacation.) When I set out on the journey of dating I thought it sounded fun. I pictured endless options and me selecting Prince Charming in the end. I thought the whole thing would be a fun satisfying adventure worth waiting in line for.
The reality has been a bunch of twists and turns accompanied by scary frogs, that no matter how much I kissed them, just simply would not turn into a prince. Everytime I get back on the ride, I hope for a different or better result (aware doing the same thing over and over is the basic definition of insanity here). The end results always varied, but anticipating the end of the ride has become normal now. The first time I had no idea how or when things would conclude, but after a series of going down similar roads I have anticipated disappointment would occur shortly after getting aboard the ride.
This year I have decided that I am ready to try a new ride. I want something without the word "wild" in it. A tame and mild adventure would be satisfactory any time now. Some new and fun where I don't have a clue where it will end and I will have no desire to get off. I want to be whisked of to meet Mickey Mouse and stop looking for Prince Charming because he isn't that good-looking anyways. I want to find a happily ever after, that even if I get off the ride for one minute, I can't wait to get back on. I don't want to pay for admission, but I don't expect it to be free either. I am going to give what I get and get it back. This is the year I get off Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for good and see if I am tall enough for Space Mountain.