This is a very serious issue. Today I was grocery shopping, although technically I didn't buy groceries I was just shopping at a grocery store, when I saw this lady with the word "sexy" on her behind. Yes, ladies and gents this has been an issue of mine for some time now. My daughter is 4 years old and she has a pair of shorts that say "cutie" all across her butt. This is extremely unacceptable. It's actually kind of offensive. I do not want grown men reading my little girls behind, so therefore she is only permitted to wear those shorts to bed.
First of all, whoever came up with the idea was only a half genius. The man, yes we all know it absolutely had to be a man, knew that other men would be looking at the butts of several women thus by putting words there it would give them a better excuse to take a long look. This way if their significant other caught them staring at another woman's posterior he could simply claim he was reading her butt. Ha, you know I am right on this!
Had this man been actually a bonified genius he would have used the butt writing only for advertising purposes. He would have put things like "eat at McDonald's" or "Ship your package with UPS" on their butts. We all know "Juicy" did this. You may as well say, "Hey men! I have a juicy butt, so please come give it a giant squeeze, or take a bite if you like. I have extremely high self-esteem."
Now back to my issue. This lady with the word "sexy" on her butt, was not sexy. In fact, if I must say so myself her butt was lumpy and she had weird underwear (granny pantie) lines on it. If anything her butt should have said "don't look", but then of course we would all still look because of the wet paint theory. (Whenever someone puts up a sign saying, "wet paint", we automatically have to touch to confirm that it is in fact, wet)
I know, I know, no one would want to wear pants that read, "Butter Face", "Ugly", "Smelly", or "Dumb". However, sometimes we have to face the truth. If everyone labeled their butts no one would ever need to turn around. It's kind of like men that are hot from far away. You see them walking down the road half a mile away looking all fine. Then they get close and you realize that half their teeth are missing and they smell like the garbage truck they must have fell off.
We follow these models when it comes to our breasts as well. I have never seen a woman's shirt with words going across her stomach. It is always across her boobies, again justifying a stare. Sometimes these words are advertising, but a lot of the time these words are actually semi-degrading and again lies. "Kitty Cafe, Open 24/7", really, you may as well just say, "I am a slut and my legs never close!".
Which leads to my next random thought, men don't label their butts. Do they honestly think we don't check them out? I know I do. I would read men's butts. Men, on the other hand, will not put writing there. They simply don't want to be bother with horny women checking out their butts, but they want us to tolerate and accept it. Granted, I think I have a nice butt. Mostly I think this cuz I hear it all the time. It's a pleasantry that I would rather only have offered up to me by a man I am in a relationship with though, not every random hood rat with a horn. I also get called a MILF, but I am reasonably certain you will not be seeing it on my dairy air anytime soon.
Final thoughts: (No I am not Jerry Springer and do not play him on TV) If we all wore our labels on our butts and were honest about them, we make not like what we are. We may give more of an effort to do those extra sit-ups, run more, eat better, and take more showers. We wouldn't be wandering around lying to ourselves. We wouldn't have the phrase, "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can lose weight" We would simply do it.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Love is Action
I am in love. Those are some sweet words both to say, and to hear. I love you. I, well, I ummm...
The thing about saying I love you, meaning I love you, and being in love, is that once those things are known the level of general expectations have gone up.
If you weren't exculsive before, this is the point you are totally exclusive. If you had never had sex before, this usually occurs shortly after, and beware my younger friends and or readers, guys will say I love you just to get you in the sac. I think that was the best piece of advice my parents EVER gave me. So, if you were already exculsive, and you were already having sex, what does that leave?
Somewhere, beyond the sea, somewhere...oh sorry got lost for a bit...I guess the next logical thing is either live together, or get married. Or if you aren't ready for marriage, getting engaged. But how long should your engagement be? If you really love them that should mean they are the one right? But what if you love 8 people in your life time and it never gets to that point where you just know? Should you risk it for love?
When did I love you become so complex. Once you say it, there is no going back. You may come to realize you unknowingly lied about it, and then half-heartedly take it back, but that kills the other person provived they really love you too.
But when you know it is right, everyone else knows too. Or so I have learned...If your friends don't like him, or trust him, he isn't for you. If your family tells you not to marry him, listen carefully. If you don't like his mom, dump the loser bc he will want you to be just like her...
You can't change him. Love him as he is, or spare yourself some time. Take the way he looks and add a minimum of 30lbs, that is how he will look. Picture him bald, because he may be. Marry someone you can't live without, not just someone you can live with. If he had no arms or legs tomorrow, would you still love him?
If you doubt the answers, then perhaps you aren't ready...
The thing about saying I love you, meaning I love you, and being in love, is that once those things are known the level of general expectations have gone up.
If you weren't exculsive before, this is the point you are totally exclusive. If you had never had sex before, this usually occurs shortly after, and beware my younger friends and or readers, guys will say I love you just to get you in the sac. I think that was the best piece of advice my parents EVER gave me. So, if you were already exculsive, and you were already having sex, what does that leave?
Somewhere, beyond the sea, somewhere...oh sorry got lost for a bit...I guess the next logical thing is either live together, or get married. Or if you aren't ready for marriage, getting engaged. But how long should your engagement be? If you really love them that should mean they are the one right? But what if you love 8 people in your life time and it never gets to that point where you just know? Should you risk it for love?
When did I love you become so complex. Once you say it, there is no going back. You may come to realize you unknowingly lied about it, and then half-heartedly take it back, but that kills the other person provived they really love you too.
But when you know it is right, everyone else knows too. Or so I have learned...If your friends don't like him, or trust him, he isn't for you. If your family tells you not to marry him, listen carefully. If you don't like his mom, dump the loser bc he will want you to be just like her...
You can't change him. Love him as he is, or spare yourself some time. Take the way he looks and add a minimum of 30lbs, that is how he will look. Picture him bald, because he may be. Marry someone you can't live without, not just someone you can live with. If he had no arms or legs tomorrow, would you still love him?
If you doubt the answers, then perhaps you aren't ready...
Boys and Men
So lately I have been blog reading, nothing odd about that for me really, and I have began to notice a ton of people are no longer protecting the names of the not so innocent, so as of this moment, neither will I.
Eyes open or shut when you kiss? The question is a simple one to answer, although the answers may be more complex than what one may think.
People that kiss with their eyes open want to see the reaction in their partners face. They enjoy looking at their partner and they aren't picturing someone else. (Obviously because it would be difficult to picture someone else with your eyes open.) However, I have another persective on this too.
Ryan was my first boyfriend. Ok, yeah I had other boyfriends before Ryan, and tons after him too, but he was my first boyfriend to knock on my window in the middle of the night just to talk, my first real make-out kinda kiss, and the first guy I semi-stalked simply because he spent the summer babysitting for his nephews that happened to live next door. He was the first to see my at my worst, playing Barbies with my best friend (ok so we weren't really "playing" Barbies so much as making fun of this one annoying girl using Barbies, but still).
Ryan had weight issues too. I think that is why I dated him. One summer he was hot, the next he was not. He was Lindsay's when he was hot, mine when he was not. How that was fair, I am still not certain.
Back to the point..shortly after we got done kissing once, Ryan told me something and to this day it has made more sense than any other thing a guy has told me.
"If you kiss someone with your eyes open, you don't fully trust them. If they are closed you are literally trusting them with your life and you are really connecting with them."
The down side, on my part, is that perhaps they are picturing someone else they really trust while kissing you with your eyes closed :(
I have found his words to be rather true however. Every time I have trusted a man in the last 8 years my eyes have been closed when we kiss. If I don't trust him, my eyes are wide open. Usually when my eyes are wide open, so are his and those relationships have NEVER lasted as long as the ones where both our eyes are closed.
Tomorrow I will be writing about the friend zone and why guys always seem to want to move out of it with me, and some girls can never get out
Eyes open or shut when you kiss? The question is a simple one to answer, although the answers may be more complex than what one may think.
People that kiss with their eyes open want to see the reaction in their partners face. They enjoy looking at their partner and they aren't picturing someone else. (Obviously because it would be difficult to picture someone else with your eyes open.) However, I have another persective on this too.
Ryan was my first boyfriend. Ok, yeah I had other boyfriends before Ryan, and tons after him too, but he was my first boyfriend to knock on my window in the middle of the night just to talk, my first real make-out kinda kiss, and the first guy I semi-stalked simply because he spent the summer babysitting for his nephews that happened to live next door. He was the first to see my at my worst, playing Barbies with my best friend (ok so we weren't really "playing" Barbies so much as making fun of this one annoying girl using Barbies, but still).
Ryan had weight issues too. I think that is why I dated him. One summer he was hot, the next he was not. He was Lindsay's when he was hot, mine when he was not. How that was fair, I am still not certain.
Back to the point..shortly after we got done kissing once, Ryan told me something and to this day it has made more sense than any other thing a guy has told me.
"If you kiss someone with your eyes open, you don't fully trust them. If they are closed you are literally trusting them with your life and you are really connecting with them."
The down side, on my part, is that perhaps they are picturing someone else they really trust while kissing you with your eyes closed :(
I have found his words to be rather true however. Every time I have trusted a man in the last 8 years my eyes have been closed when we kiss. If I don't trust him, my eyes are wide open. Usually when my eyes are wide open, so are his and those relationships have NEVER lasted as long as the ones where both our eyes are closed.
Tomorrow I will be writing about the friend zone and why guys always seem to want to move out of it with me, and some girls can never get out
If You Ever Wondered About My Marriage...
I would have been happy. Our kids would have been our whole life. Every moment would have been shared in the love, joy, and happiness only expressed by the smiles showing all over our faces. The sun would have gleamed off my blond hair and I would be a perfect size 4 with a tan. We would have been lucky and in love forever. We could have completed each others sentences and never fought. The cupboards would have always been full of healthy and wonderful food and a soda could have been drank as an every day occasion. The love word would have been used more than the word divorce and the phrase, "you look beautiful" would have been the truth. However, that wasn't how things were.
How long would you stay?
If he called you fat (even if you were)?
If he called you lazy, when you were just to tired to care?
If he peed on you as a joke while you were pregnant and wouldn't let you shower until you mopped it up?
If he would rather look at porn than get laid?
If every statement was a dig at your looks or intellect?
If he punched you in the face?
If he threw pop at you?
If he made you walk 5 miles home in 87 degree weather while you were 34 weeks pregnant?
If he told you, you didn't deserve to be a mother?
If he held a knife to your pregnant belly and told you if you left you had to leave the unborn child if you survived?
If he asked for a open marriage?
If he told your friends he didn't want to marry you in the first place?
If he spent hours accusing you of cheating because he wouldn't talk to you and you found someone that would?
If he spent hours on the computer ignoring you and your children?
If he refused to clean anything even though he wasn't working?
If he didn't want a job?
If on your birthday, you cooked your own dinner, lit candles, and ended up finishing the night crying while he talked to strangers on World of Warcraft?
If he wasn't really spending hours on the roof?
If he would buy you anything because "you will just get fat again"?
If he told you he thought you friends were hot, or made you follow a chinese school girl through a mall because he thought she was hot?
If he took away your right to leave as you wished?
If he took away your phone like you were 12?
If he threw a fit and would let you keep your plans, including going to the doctor because you made him mad?
You didn't know where I was in my life, but you judged me. You felt it was easier to believe I was cheating, than it was to believe I was being abused. You didn't know, because I didn't want to tell you.
So now I will just run off to Texas because you believe everything you read reguardless of who it is from. Right? Or did I say that? Did he say that? Do you even know or even care?
When your own family only wants to believe what is more juicier or easier to believe than you know that they don't really care about you. As hard as that is to say to my family, I feel like you jumped to all the wrong conculsions. I needed help, so I turned to a friend, obviously rightly so as you all want me to go back into a horrid relationship. I had a friend help me through and all my friends knew what was going on...but you didn't. You didn't and I don't think you begin to realize how much that hurts, but then again, you don't get to choose your family.
How long would you stay?
If he called you fat (even if you were)?
If he called you lazy, when you were just to tired to care?
If he peed on you as a joke while you were pregnant and wouldn't let you shower until you mopped it up?
If he would rather look at porn than get laid?
If every statement was a dig at your looks or intellect?
If he punched you in the face?
If he threw pop at you?
If he made you walk 5 miles home in 87 degree weather while you were 34 weeks pregnant?
If he told you, you didn't deserve to be a mother?
If he held a knife to your pregnant belly and told you if you left you had to leave the unborn child if you survived?
If he asked for a open marriage?
If he told your friends he didn't want to marry you in the first place?
If he spent hours accusing you of cheating because he wouldn't talk to you and you found someone that would?
If he spent hours on the computer ignoring you and your children?
If he refused to clean anything even though he wasn't working?
If he didn't want a job?
If on your birthday, you cooked your own dinner, lit candles, and ended up finishing the night crying while he talked to strangers on World of Warcraft?
If he wasn't really spending hours on the roof?
If he would buy you anything because "you will just get fat again"?
If he told you he thought you friends were hot, or made you follow a chinese school girl through a mall because he thought she was hot?
If he took away your right to leave as you wished?
If he took away your phone like you were 12?
If he threw a fit and would let you keep your plans, including going to the doctor because you made him mad?
You didn't know where I was in my life, but you judged me. You felt it was easier to believe I was cheating, than it was to believe I was being abused. You didn't know, because I didn't want to tell you.
So now I will just run off to Texas because you believe everything you read reguardless of who it is from. Right? Or did I say that? Did he say that? Do you even know or even care?
When your own family only wants to believe what is more juicier or easier to believe than you know that they don't really care about you. As hard as that is to say to my family, I feel like you jumped to all the wrong conculsions. I needed help, so I turned to a friend, obviously rightly so as you all want me to go back into a horrid relationship. I had a friend help me through and all my friends knew what was going on...but you didn't. You didn't and I don't think you begin to realize how much that hurts, but then again, you don't get to choose your family.
My Wedding Vows (not getting married, yet)
No, I am not getting married, at least not that I know of. I would like to be again someday to the right person and this is what I would like to be able to say to that person when the time is right.
When I met you, I had a hard time trusting anyone, especially myself. Over time you helped me to trust you and by trusting you, I was able to gain confidence in myself. You made me stronger by being the person you are.
I thought that if I met someone that loved my children half as much as I did, I would be doing well because I love them more than anything in this world. And even though you don't have to, there are days I realize you love them just as much as I do.
When I think of all the mistakes I made, the one that stands out the most, is not meeting you sooner. Not telling you I loved you when I first knew it, not kissing you the first time we met, and not being myself right from the first second were also big mistakes. You looked beyond my faults and not only accepted, but embraced them as a part of me that makes me who I am.
You push me further than anyone I have ever met. You make me who I want to become, and knowing I get to become that person with you leaves me confident in our future.
I love you for who you are, and who you can become. I accept your flaws, because they come with who you are. I will apologize when I am wrong, and sometimes just when you think I am. I love you now, and I will always love you.
When I met you, I had a hard time trusting anyone, especially myself. Over time you helped me to trust you and by trusting you, I was able to gain confidence in myself. You made me stronger by being the person you are.
I thought that if I met someone that loved my children half as much as I did, I would be doing well because I love them more than anything in this world. And even though you don't have to, there are days I realize you love them just as much as I do.
When I think of all the mistakes I made, the one that stands out the most, is not meeting you sooner. Not telling you I loved you when I first knew it, not kissing you the first time we met, and not being myself right from the first second were also big mistakes. You looked beyond my faults and not only accepted, but embraced them as a part of me that makes me who I am.
You push me further than anyone I have ever met. You make me who I want to become, and knowing I get to become that person with you leaves me confident in our future.
I love you for who you are, and who you can become. I accept your flaws, because they come with who you are. I will apologize when I am wrong, and sometimes just when you think I am. I love you now, and I will always love you.
My Views On....well Everything
1. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are usually taken, or handicapped (mentally or emotionally in this case), occasionally you get lucky and find a good one, but that doesn't mean another girl won't jump in and take it before you get all the way in.
2. I may not be the brightest or prettiest crayon in the box, but that doesn't mean I can't be your favorite color, or that you won't use me to scribble all over your walls.
3. It is better to lose a lover, than to love a loser, but either way you still lose.
4. Someday you will realize that you love me, and I will be waking up next to the guy that already knew, or at least I hope I will be.
5. I will always believe in true love, no matter how bad it can hurt you.
6. There is someone for everyone, I mean just look at all the ugly babies and idiots on the road...
7. You aren't really in a relationship until you meet his mom.
8. He doesn't really want to marry you, no matter what he says, unless he puts a ring on your finger that he paid for.
9. True love means getting more than you give, and still wanting to give more.
10. Each relationship is a risk.
11. If your friendship can't last through a break-up, you were never really friends to begin with. (I love all my exs that allow me to tag along with them as a friend)12. You can't be mad when that guy you gave your number to doesn't call, even if he asked for the number, it is like playing the lottery, blaming the ticket just won't help.
13. Any guy will treat you the way he treats his mom.14. Previous relationships are a direct reflection of what you don't want in the next.
15. You can't regret the past, only use it as a guide for what not to do in the future.
16. It sometimes takes a bad relationship, or one that didn't end well, to fully appreciate the great one in the future.
17. Never settle, it will only leave you wanting more.
18 Never loan money to someone you aren't married to...and why would you need to loan your spouse money???
19. There are 3 kinds of people in this world: Those that can count, and those that can't.
20. It's never ok to yell.
21. It's ok to cry.
22. If you tell someone how you feel and they just don't feel the same, there may not be anything wrong with you, it's them.
23. I deserve someone that is as great as I want to be.
24. I am not perfect, but if you accept my flaws, I may be perfect for you.
25. I need someone that is secure enough to trust me with all my lingering ex boyfriends, and that trusts me enough to know they are exs for a reason, maybe a dumb reason like someone peed on a window, but reasons that won't allow us to be together.
26. I don't need someone to carry all my baggage, but I would love to find someone that can throw it in the closet and make me forget about it for a while
2. I may not be the brightest or prettiest crayon in the box, but that doesn't mean I can't be your favorite color, or that you won't use me to scribble all over your walls.
3. It is better to lose a lover, than to love a loser, but either way you still lose.
4. Someday you will realize that you love me, and I will be waking up next to the guy that already knew, or at least I hope I will be.
5. I will always believe in true love, no matter how bad it can hurt you.
6. There is someone for everyone, I mean just look at all the ugly babies and idiots on the road...
7. You aren't really in a relationship until you meet his mom.
8. He doesn't really want to marry you, no matter what he says, unless he puts a ring on your finger that he paid for.
9. True love means getting more than you give, and still wanting to give more.
10. Each relationship is a risk.
11. If your friendship can't last through a break-up, you were never really friends to begin with. (I love all my exs that allow me to tag along with them as a friend)12. You can't be mad when that guy you gave your number to doesn't call, even if he asked for the number, it is like playing the lottery, blaming the ticket just won't help.
13. Any guy will treat you the way he treats his mom.14. Previous relationships are a direct reflection of what you don't want in the next.
15. You can't regret the past, only use it as a guide for what not to do in the future.
16. It sometimes takes a bad relationship, or one that didn't end well, to fully appreciate the great one in the future.
17. Never settle, it will only leave you wanting more.
18 Never loan money to someone you aren't married to...and why would you need to loan your spouse money???
19. There are 3 kinds of people in this world: Those that can count, and those that can't.
20. It's never ok to yell.
21. It's ok to cry.
22. If you tell someone how you feel and they just don't feel the same, there may not be anything wrong with you, it's them.
23. I deserve someone that is as great as I want to be.
24. I am not perfect, but if you accept my flaws, I may be perfect for you.
25. I need someone that is secure enough to trust me with all my lingering ex boyfriends, and that trusts me enough to know they are exs for a reason, maybe a dumb reason like someone peed on a window, but reasons that won't allow us to be together.
26. I don't need someone to carry all my baggage, but I would love to find someone that can throw it in the closet and make me forget about it for a while
I Carry You
You are in the thoughts I try to erase, but each night I see your face, you illuminate my dreams, and add litter into my life.
You are the pencil with no eraser, your calls show up on my ID, but when I answer, it seems so cold to me.
You are the blurr in the mirror, the dust in the wind, the pee in my cheerios, but I wouldn't trade it in.
You crushed what I thought I was becoming, made me someone new, and all our memories, are in my rear-view.
You ate my food, crashed on my couch, made me fall in love, and just like that I was out.
I was out, out of luck, and out of touch, now you are gone and I still miss you so very much.
Nothing about it was fair, nothing about it was right, and yet you are the reason, I can't fall asleep at night.
I can't make you change, nor can I keep you away, so I guess forever, in my heart you will stay.
You are the pencil with no eraser, your calls show up on my ID, but when I answer, it seems so cold to me.
You are the blurr in the mirror, the dust in the wind, the pee in my cheerios, but I wouldn't trade it in.
You crushed what I thought I was becoming, made me someone new, and all our memories, are in my rear-view.
You ate my food, crashed on my couch, made me fall in love, and just like that I was out.
I was out, out of luck, and out of touch, now you are gone and I still miss you so very much.
Nothing about it was fair, nothing about it was right, and yet you are the reason, I can't fall asleep at night.
I can't make you change, nor can I keep you away, so I guess forever, in my heart you will stay.
MS 1
I don't want to fall asleep...because when I do you appear to me. We hold hands and kiss and talk about the future. We plan and we dream. We are together, and we belong to each other.
But when I wake up, you are not beside me. I can't touch you. I can't say I love you. I just stare at the void on my bed and wonder why I am laying here alone when just minutes before I felt so in love and happy.
I hear the silence. I have nothing to do and all day to do it. There is no laughter. There is no smile of reassurance. While I know that you are somewhere wishing you could fill the void too...I don't know where you are. I don't know what you are doing. I don't see you beside me. And I still smell you.
But when I wake up, you are not beside me. I can't touch you. I can't say I love you. I just stare at the void on my bed and wonder why I am laying here alone when just minutes before I felt so in love and happy.
I hear the silence. I have nothing to do and all day to do it. There is no laughter. There is no smile of reassurance. While I know that you are somewhere wishing you could fill the void too...I don't know where you are. I don't know what you are doing. I don't see you beside me. And I still smell you.
What I still think I will find...
It's the feeling of the sun hitting your face after a night spent under the stars in the arms of someone you love. It's when a single glance can make your whole day better or worse. It's knowing that for the rest of your life there is no place you would rather be, or nothing you would rather do, than going no where and doing nothing with each other. It's when a touch races up you spine and generates enough happiness to cure any depression. It's when the words, "I love you" are said and meant and those words carry such a deep weight that even when you let it go, it never really leaves. It's when your life coulminates in one moment of unspoken bliss that you dwell on years after it ends. It's knowing that no matter what, always, you have that one piece of time. It's the first time you kiss in the rain. It's knowing what he was wearing the moment you first linked eyes. It's going to back to the spot you met just to sit and cry. It's knowing that you can never do better. It's knowing that he will haunt your dreams and carry a shattering of your heart until death. It's the feel of warm sand on your feet, the way he brushes your hair off your face. It's when he gets one one knee and promises to love you til death. It's knowing that he loves you enough to let you go, but he won't without a fight. It's the feel of his lips against yours in the pouring rain. It's throwing his shirt in a puddle so you won't ruin your shoes. It's trust. It's lust. It's just love.
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