Child support is a good thing. It helps children maintain a decent lifestyle when paid and calculated properly. For the last four years the amount of child support I received for my four children was minimal. In fact it was so minimal, that I got more for my son with another man than I did for our four children combined. However, I'm not the one that should be ashamed of that.
Two weeks ago, I was informed that their father was walking away. I was and still would be completely fine with this. I have always picked up the slack and I always will. The children are not obligations, but rather choices. They didn't get to pick me for a mother. They got what they got, so I want to the best one possible. Upon learning in child support court that he would get a visitation credit in child support court for seeing them, he decided he does "want to" see them even more than he had been. However, he still doesn't want his weeknight....no surprise he doesn't get credit for that.
For him the numbers that matter are the ones in his bank account. I also have a bank account. The bills get paid. We live another day. The amount that got us there isn't important.
The numbers that matter for me are these:
9-18-03, 5-25-06, 6-11-07 & 10-14-10 my children's birthdays in order. Also 11, 8, 8, 7 & 4, my children's ages. These numbers have been written incorrectly on five court documents from him since our divorce.
9.4 Sydney's personal best floor routine score and got her her first first place in a gymnastics meet. And 8.6 Skye's first first at her second ever meet on vault.
25 the number of meals Chris knows how to cook well.
3 the number of best friends Manda has at school, and 1 the number of boyfriends she's had since kindergarten.
4 Austin's favorite number and his age. He points to it everywhere we go.
5 the minimum number of times the kids eat at my house in a day. 2 the number of times they are allowed to eat per day at their dad's.
$1 the amount of food that was bought for each of them at McDonald's by their dad. $80 the amount of money he spent on a brand new coat for himself the same night. Free the amount of money I spent on a hand me down winter coat for myself from a friend.
$129 the amount of money I need to buy Chris the bike he really wants. My bike is invisible....being able to ride with them instead of jogging isn't as important as them having bikes.
7 the amount of outfits in my closet that currently fit me and do not have stains. 32 the number of outfits each of my children currently have for each season.
9 months the length of time we have been without a dryer bc the money I saved for a new one went to repair the van and my girls aren't giving up gymnastics.
3 the number of medicines Skye is on to maintain her asthma. 29 the age her dad started smoking knowing he had an asthmatic child.
0 the number of jobs he has to support the children. $10 the amount of money the children made selling their personal belongs door to door without supervision in a strange city he took from them. And lastly 6, the number of times the school has called dcs on him.
Oh and 6 the number of months I didn't expose any of this to the world.
See the difference between me and him as my kids numbers come first. Their successes, their meals, their clothes, the amount of days they live without great of being treated bio better than animals....those are my concerns. I shouldn't have to concern myself with their safety and threats from the woman he chose over them, but I do. I have to. No one else is.
No comments:
Post a Comment