Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Seven was a big year for me. I was in dance, figure skating, and golf. For the life of me. I still can't dance or golf. However, it was also the year I went to Disney World.
Disney World is a magical place where if someone plays their cards right, they can see all the amazing charecters that made their childhood special. For weeks I planned out riding space mountian and shaking hands with Mickey Mouse. I saw myself in front of Cinderella's castle meeting Prince Charming and getting a kiss on the cheek. My whole concept of what Disney World was was based on the premise of commercials and childhood naivity.
So when I went to date years later, I entered it with the same false realities I had come across on tv specials and Hallmark movies. I would find the right guy, and even if I found the wrong one the first time, the right one would kick his ass and steal me away and leave me feeling happy every single day.
Shortly, after arriving at Disney I noticed a couple concerning things. Basically, I was too short to ride Space Mountain, and the place was HUGE so the odds of finding my childhood idols to say hi to was out of my grasp. I never once got to meet Mickey, and I found Prince Charming to be rather ugly in person. The things I was tall enough to ride were mondain everyday rides like the Dumbo ride, the teacups, bumper cars, and something with a troll that was a water ride that went down backwards.
That's when I read the sign for something I could ride: Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. It sounded thrilling, much better than the Snow White which didn't even have Snow White in it once. Unfortunately, the ride really wasn't that wild in the fun way I had envisioned. There were a lot of jerky twists and turns and really ugly and sometimes scary frogs along the path. There wasn't a point in the ride that I wasn't waiting for the end ultimately so I could find something better after exiting the ride.
Thus brings me back to my dating life. (Yes, I really am about to compare my dating life thus far to the childhood disappointments of my Disney vacation.) When I set out on the journey of dating I thought it sounded fun. I pictured endless options and me selecting Prince Charming in the end. I thought the whole thing would be a fun satisfying adventure worth waiting in line for.
The reality has been a bunch of twists and turns accompanied by scary frogs, that no matter how much I kissed them, just simply would not turn into a prince. Everytime I get back on the ride, I hope for a different or better result (aware doing the same thing over and over is the basic definition of insanity here). The end results always varied, but anticipating the end of the ride has become normal now. The first time I had no idea how or when things would conclude, but after a series of going down similar roads I have anticipated disappointment would occur shortly after getting aboard the ride.
This year I have decided that I am ready to try a new ride. I want something without the word "wild" in it. A tame and mild adventure would be satisfactory any time now. Some new and fun where I don't have a clue where it will end and I will have no desire to get off. I want to be whisked of to meet Mickey Mouse and stop looking for Prince Charming because he isn't that good-looking anyways. I want to find a happily ever after, that even if I get off the ride for one minute, I can't wait to get back on. I don't want to pay for admission, but I don't expect it to be free either. I am going to give what I get and get it back. This is the year I get off Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for good and see if I am tall enough for Space Mountain.