No, I am not talking about fashion. That would be like me using a black crayon on black paper to draw a black cat. I know nothing about fashion. The labels I am referring to are the ones that define us, if and only if we allow them to.
I have been given many labels: single, divorced, mother of five, student, low-income, educated, friend, daughter, Christian, boss, and employee. In the grand scheme of fairness I don't let the labels define where I am headed, but truthfully I cannot deny that they define where I am at this given moment.
Some of these things bother me more than the rest. Let's start with single. I am single, but single in itself does not even clarify itself. I am single, not looking. So my single is a conscience decision that I actively continue daily. I have no expectations of finding "the one" anytime soon. At one time I thought I had found my prince, but he turned out to be a retard in tin foil. (Picturing him in a funny tin foil hat and laughing on this end of the computer.) I have continuous offers from men that think they want to marry me, or be "my man", but I am not settling for someone just because it's easy.
As for divorced, yes I am divorced. There is no argument from me there. I left an abusive marriage and being defined by the fact that I made the decision to leave and never once looked back will be an expressive label of the strong and independent person I am for the rest of my life. I am not embarrassed to be divorced at 27 anymore than I am embarrassed to be a mother.
My five children define me and give me a label too. It's one word, crazy. I am really not crazy. I was an only child that wanted a large family. I have my large family, not the way I pictured it, but it's mine to claim never the less. I always thought I would have a husband to help me avoid the label single mom. Unfortunately I ran head first into a wall when it comes to wanting to believe what men tell me. My children have two fathers. My first four are products of my ex-husband. I had three pregnancies and four children with him. Wrap your head around that for a minute. Time up. I had a set of twins in the middle. My fifth child was a product of my engagement to his father. I love all five of my kids differently, but equally. They all have their own special attributes which is why I am proud to be their mommy.
I love that I am a student. Going back to school at any age is a positive way to improve, oneself and lifestyle. Whether someone graduates at 22 or at 82, a degree is something no one can take away. It is earned and it offers another label, graduate. I can't wait to have that label added to my resume.
Low-income just sounds bad. It does. I can't change it. As for right now it is honest. It is who I am for now. When I first moved into my apartment many of the other residents assumed we were rich in comparison. My children were decked out in nice name brand clothing and all had on new shoes. What they were unaware of was that I paid little to nothing for any of it. I made excellent purchases at second-hand stores and at garage sales all year long in an effort to make them feel like we had the world. I promised myself I would never allow my kids to be made fun of based on the clothing they had to wear. Even though I come from a middle class home, my older parents often failed to dress me fashionably. I was teased regularly about the things I lacked. If my kids get teased it won't be because their clothing was the wrong style.
Education is our biggest asset. It's both a privilege and a responsibility, much like driving a car. I can use my knowledge to either drive into a building, or to get a point accomplished. I like being well read. When I speak people listen. It is a good power to have when used to correctly.
The only responsibility more important than dealing with my education and parenting has to be friend. My friendships grow everyday. I make friends in the most unlikely places. For example I have 8 friends I have made while grocery shopping alone. I have 75 contacts in my phone that I actually talk to at least once a month. I have friends I unite with for causes or events within my community. I share my friends with my friends and they become friends. No one can ever have too many friends.
Once upon a time I was a daughter I would have liked to have. I was a top student. I was an athlete. I had several close knit and responsible friends. I never broke curfew (at my dad's). I never tried smoking or consumed any alcohol. I never did drugs. Since high school, I have made many poor choices concerning the the men in my life. I stayed in a marriage way too long and had four too many children with him. I had to borrow money not knowing if or how I would be able to pay it back. I have never thanked them enough for all they have done, but where they are, now they know.
As a Christian, I will admit that I am one and I will share my faith whenever I am asked. I don't wear it as a label in normal situations for the simple reason is that a lot of my faith is between me and God. Enough said on that.
Finally, I have been the good faithful employee. I showed up to work and did my job, but I preferred it when I was the boss. I like being the boss now. I write when I want, where I want, about whatever floats my boat. Maybe I will be shared, maybe not. Maybe I will have a writing career maybe not. Who cares what I have when I am doing what I love.
In conclusion, my labels give me a foundation. Whether I leave that foundation and fly one day is up to me.
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