This is a very serious issue. Today I was grocery shopping, although technically I didn't buy groceries I was just shopping at a grocery store, when I saw this lady with the word "sexy" on her behind. Yes, ladies and gents this has been an issue of mine for some time now. My daughter is 4 years old and she has a pair of shorts that say "cutie" all across her butt. This is extremely unacceptable. It's actually kind of offensive. I do not want grown men reading my little girls behind, so therefore she is only permitted to wear those shorts to bed.
First of all, whoever came up with the idea was only a half genius. The man, yes we all know it absolutely had to be a man, knew that other men would be looking at the butts of several women thus by putting words there it would give them a better excuse to take a long look. This way if their significant other caught them staring at another woman's posterior he could simply claim he was reading her butt. Ha, you know I am right on this!
Had this man been actually a bonified genius he would have used the butt writing only for advertising purposes. He would have put things like "eat at McDonald's" or "Ship your package with UPS" on their butts. We all know "Juicy" did this. You may as well say, "Hey men! I have a juicy butt, so please come give it a giant squeeze, or take a bite if you like. I have extremely high self-esteem."
Now back to my issue. This lady with the word "sexy" on her butt, was not sexy. In fact, if I must say so myself her butt was lumpy and she had weird underwear (granny pantie) lines on it. If anything her butt should have said "don't look", but then of course we would all still look because of the wet paint theory. (Whenever someone puts up a sign saying, "wet paint", we automatically have to touch to confirm that it is in fact, wet)
I know, I know, no one would want to wear pants that read, "Butter Face", "Ugly", "Smelly", or "Dumb". However, sometimes we have to face the truth. If everyone labeled their butts no one would ever need to turn around. It's kind of like men that are hot from far away. You see them walking down the road half a mile away looking all fine. Then they get close and you realize that half their teeth are missing and they smell like the garbage truck they must have fell off.
We follow these models when it comes to our breasts as well. I have never seen a woman's shirt with words going across her stomach. It is always across her boobies, again justifying a stare. Sometimes these words are advertising, but a lot of the time these words are actually semi-degrading and again lies. "Kitty Cafe, Open 24/7", really, you may as well just say, "I am a slut and my legs never close!".
Which leads to my next random thought, men don't label their butts. Do they honestly think we don't check them out? I know I do. I would read men's butts. Men, on the other hand, will not put writing there. They simply don't want to be bother with horny women checking out their butts, but they want us to tolerate and accept it. Granted, I think I have a nice butt. Mostly I think this cuz I hear it all the time. It's a pleasantry that I would rather only have offered up to me by a man I am in a relationship with though, not every random hood rat with a horn. I also get called a MILF, but I am reasonably certain you will not be seeing it on my dairy air anytime soon.
Final thoughts: (No I am not Jerry Springer and do not play him on TV) If we all wore our labels on our butts and were honest about them, we make not like what we are. We may give more of an effort to do those extra sit-ups, run more, eat better, and take more showers. We wouldn't be wandering around lying to ourselves. We wouldn't have the phrase, "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can lose weight" We would simply do it.
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